My heart feels like its been ripped out, and theres a rotting black hole where it was, sucking every ounce of happiness I managed to cling on to out of my body. Tonya's brother came over to cheer me up, and all that did was make it worse....he likes me, as do many other people, but I dont want any of them...I want Chris......and I just keep ( Read more... )

I have temporarily (and I pray to God it is only temporarily) lost Chris, the person I love more than I love my own life, my candle in the darkness that has been my life just got blown out...I have also lost mom because well, she cant hold back her fucking negative opinion and her i told you so's to save her life, so i told her to not even say what ( Read more... )

And all I can do now, is wait, and pray, and hope to God after all of this, I still am with the one I love....

im on my meds......i should be fine right now, right? nope.......trying not to cut.....i want a cig....dont have any........wanna call chris....but dont want to upset him......he's already annoyed as hell with me anyway, at least i think he is, he said he wasnt....was probably just trying to make me feel better.......dammnit.......i dont want to do ( Read more... )

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makes me cry......

"What I've Done ( Read more... )

Iris ( Read more... )

I constantly have to ask myself ( Read more... )

I'm so sick of feeling like I will NEVER be good enough for this world...Sitting here having some homemade chowmein and a PB sandwhich...yeah, i know, loser lunch, I didn't go in for my extra hours this morning...No one called,so I guess no one gave a shit....Got a late night call from tonyas bro, that I didnt answer. Then got a call from Mindi ( Read more... )

Well....Here I sit...thinking about my life thus far....this time last year...well, here is an old xanga post (the update is in CAPS ( Read more... )