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[ate_it_all]

Ohoho, isn't this fun? I feel like I'm learning a lot today. It's making my food taste better.

[indeed, there are cutting and chewing noises on the other side of the phone.]

Very well, in exchange for the entertainment, I shall reveal my biggest secret -

I am supposed to be dead in my world. I ate myself for supper!

Comments

[pokeay]

That doesn't seem like it would taste very good.

[ate_it_all]

Oh? Have you ever eaten a person before?

[pokeay]

I've eaten a lot of things before, but not other people.

[ate_it_all]

Then what do you know about how it would taste?

[zombee_slayer]

How the hell do ya eat yourself?

[ate_it_all]

I have a rather high tolerance for pain, you see.... also, there was nothing else to eat, and I just became so curious.

[zombee_slayer]

So what? You take a big bite of your wrist or something?

[ate_it_all]

Oh, please. I used a knife and fork as always, and started from the feet up.

[justdumbluck]

You're jokin', right? Isn't that kinda... impossible?

Not ta' mention gross.

[ate_it_all]

No, no, no. I had consumed plenty of servants before, so I knew how to do it properly. In fact, human is the only dish I am completely confident in my abilities to prepare. My, how embarrassing!

[justdumbluck]

But that's- That's crazy! You can't just eat the people that work for you!

[ate_it_all]

Well, I only ate my 15th chef after he resigned....

Level 2

[inthenertz]

Really? That's your big secret?

Golf clap for creative suicide, but that's pretty lame.

[ate_it_all]

[huff]

I don't know what you mean. What else am I supposed to do after eating all of the rest of the world?

[inthenertz]

You're thinking too small. There are tons of stars up there. Existence is huge.

If you're going to quit after such a small goal, then what good are you?

[ate_it_all]

....

[oh, wow. That's depressing.]

... Ah, you're right. I should have asked that alien for directions to his home planet before I ate him .... Surely, I am going to be punished for this...

Level 3

[karakoibutler]

...You ate yourself for supper? H-How's that even possible?

[ Hayate thanks you for ruining his appetite ]

[ate_it_all]

My, my. Do you want the gory details?

[karakoibutler]

...E-Eh? I mean, no thank you...