Because I Love You feat. Aoi & Uruha
The murderous silence, only interrupted by a faint beeping sound; but that could easily be ignored. It was the only thinking that kept me up, the only reason why I haven’t temporarily unshackled myself from conscious. Or semi-consciousness. Whichever you could use to describe me. It’s been so long, but I’m not the type who’ll give up that easily, especially at a time like this.
I stared at him. His face was void of any emotion. It’s not clear if I should say he’s calm, but I’m pretty sure he was free from any pain at the moment. His eyes closed in deep slumber as his chest slowly rose and lowered with easy breath he took. It drove me nuts when I started feeling how useless I was to him when it happened.
Twentieth of January. Everyone knew what occurs on that sole date. It wasn’t even noon when everyone already bombarded me with greetings and stuff. Presents were always given to me but a certain someone hasn’t exactly surprised me just yet. Not that I’d be surprised since I was expecting him. But I will admit that BVLGARI doesn’t compare to anything he would give me.
We met once during that day and before I could say anything, he beat me to it.
‘I’ll be at your place by 7. Wait for me.’
Then he just left. Two sentences that made me freeze, and made my heart skip a beat at the same time. But just as he told me, I waited. By 4 in the afternoon, I was inside my four walls. I had to admit that I was really looking forward to whatever he had planned for me. I can actually picture him bursting through my door, with a cake or something!
But soon, minutes turned to hours. And seven o’clock was soon on the face of the clock. Still nothing.
He was so lucky. I inwardly growled, “Stay cool. I’m waiting for you because I love you.” So lucky, indeed.
Slowly, I felt my excitement die down, the image of my lover entering my apartment fading. My spirits deflated gradually when I read seven-thirty on my clock. Damn. A deep sigh escaped my lips as my right hand lazily reached for the remote control since I had, by then, planted myself on the couch.
I flicked through channels, just for the sake that I could do something at that time. My motives were unsure, but I’m fully convinced that I was bored and disappointed. Though, at first, I was in a state of anger. I was mad that it seemed that he had forgotten it was my birthday. Seriously, how could he when every damn date that had something to do with him is still glued inside my head until now?!
That so-called anger soon subsided and paranoia stepped in. I began asking myself questions like ‘was he mad at me’ or ‘did I do anything wrong’ and even ‘is he cheating on me’. I wouldn’t really call it obsession. But my boyfriend wasn’t the type who’d break promises, even if it doesn’t concern me. Let’s say that I’m just worried on why he didn’t show up on time.
I sighed to myself as I turned the TV off, setting the remote back on the coffee table. I’m the type who rarely goes through mood swings since they seem rather unneeded in daily life. But this can be an exception. Actually, I would’ve gone through a whole lot more with my inner conflict were it not for my phone ringing.
‘An unprecedented heresy geisha group, we appear like rowdies here
Everybody, from young to old and men and women, their hearts are dancing.’
The ever-familiar words of ‘Linda Linda’ by our band. I had to wonder why I chose this ring tone in the first place. But it always pinned down to the time when he sang it. Funny, but it was really memorable.
I took out my phone from my pocket. One new message. Part of my wanted him to call, but I guess a message would suffice. At that time, I just wanted to know where he was, why he was late, and if he was even planning to still come over. But if only I knew it would let to the current time, I wish I never read the message.
From: Reita
Message: Shit! TV! News! NOW! Don’t ask, just do it!
Absent-mindedly, my hand snaked back to get the remote. Despite the many questions that I was screaming in my head, I still did was Reita texted me to. Just what the fuck was he planning? The TV flashed on as I pressed the right button. I flickered through channels until my eyes caught the ticker tape that distinguished it was the right channel. But right then and there, I just wanted to have a power out so my eyes never got a chance to see the ambulance behind the anchor lady.
Amidst the astonishment, I managed to hear a few words that did not help me with the situation at all.
Drunk. Taxi. Accident. Fatal. Boy. Idol.
My eyes failed me again when they scanned the moving pictures on the screen. There was a body being carried inside the ambulance. That familiar blonde hair, that familiar slender figure on the stretcher…I didn’t need any more proof.
‘Uruha…’
And that’s how I got to where I am now. The sole explanation why I rushed out of my apartment and made my way to the hospital they sent him. The firm ground on why I stayed with him all this time. And I have no intention of leaving him alone.
It’s been 4 weeks already and still, Uruha remains unconscious. And during those 4 weeks, I’ve never left the hospital. Thankfully, the guys stop by to either keep me company or bring me something to eat. But my appetite isn’t as great as it usual is,
There would be times when doctors would tell me to go home and rest, but I’ve always declined. Nurses would come in and advise me to let my guard down and let them handle everything. Still, I tell them what I’ve always told them.
“There is no way I’m leaving him. I’ll stay.”
More hushed than a whisper but with all of my love for him, I said it again right then and there as my hand held onto his.
“I’ll wait for you because I love you…Uruha…”
おわり
I stared at him. His face was void of any emotion. It’s not clear if I should say he’s calm, but I’m pretty sure he was free from any pain at the moment. His eyes closed in deep slumber as his chest slowly rose and lowered with easy breath he took. It drove me nuts when I started feeling how useless I was to him when it happened.
Twentieth of January. Everyone knew what occurs on that sole date. It wasn’t even noon when everyone already bombarded me with greetings and stuff. Presents were always given to me but a certain someone hasn’t exactly surprised me just yet. Not that I’d be surprised since I was expecting him. But I will admit that BVLGARI doesn’t compare to anything he would give me.
We met once during that day and before I could say anything, he beat me to it.
‘I’ll be at your place by 7. Wait for me.’
Then he just left. Two sentences that made me freeze, and made my heart skip a beat at the same time. But just as he told me, I waited. By 4 in the afternoon, I was inside my four walls. I had to admit that I was really looking forward to whatever he had planned for me. I can actually picture him bursting through my door, with a cake or something!
But soon, minutes turned to hours. And seven o’clock was soon on the face of the clock. Still nothing.
He was so lucky. I inwardly growled, “Stay cool. I’m waiting for you because I love you.” So lucky, indeed.
Slowly, I felt my excitement die down, the image of my lover entering my apartment fading. My spirits deflated gradually when I read seven-thirty on my clock. Damn. A deep sigh escaped my lips as my right hand lazily reached for the remote control since I had, by then, planted myself on the couch.
I flicked through channels, just for the sake that I could do something at that time. My motives were unsure, but I’m fully convinced that I was bored and disappointed. Though, at first, I was in a state of anger. I was mad that it seemed that he had forgotten it was my birthday. Seriously, how could he when every damn date that had something to do with him is still glued inside my head until now?!
That so-called anger soon subsided and paranoia stepped in. I began asking myself questions like ‘was he mad at me’ or ‘did I do anything wrong’ and even ‘is he cheating on me’. I wouldn’t really call it obsession. But my boyfriend wasn’t the type who’d break promises, even if it doesn’t concern me. Let’s say that I’m just worried on why he didn’t show up on time.
I sighed to myself as I turned the TV off, setting the remote back on the coffee table. I’m the type who rarely goes through mood swings since they seem rather unneeded in daily life. But this can be an exception. Actually, I would’ve gone through a whole lot more with my inner conflict were it not for my phone ringing.
‘An unprecedented heresy geisha group, we appear like rowdies here
Everybody, from young to old and men and women, their hearts are dancing.’
The ever-familiar words of ‘Linda Linda’ by our band. I had to wonder why I chose this ring tone in the first place. But it always pinned down to the time when he sang it. Funny, but it was really memorable.
I took out my phone from my pocket. One new message. Part of my wanted him to call, but I guess a message would suffice. At that time, I just wanted to know where he was, why he was late, and if he was even planning to still come over. But if only I knew it would let to the current time, I wish I never read the message.
From: Reita
Message: Shit! TV! News! NOW! Don’t ask, just do it!
Absent-mindedly, my hand snaked back to get the remote. Despite the many questions that I was screaming in my head, I still did was Reita texted me to. Just what the fuck was he planning? The TV flashed on as I pressed the right button. I flickered through channels until my eyes caught the ticker tape that distinguished it was the right channel. But right then and there, I just wanted to have a power out so my eyes never got a chance to see the ambulance behind the anchor lady.
Amidst the astonishment, I managed to hear a few words that did not help me with the situation at all.
Drunk. Taxi. Accident. Fatal. Boy. Idol.
My eyes failed me again when they scanned the moving pictures on the screen. There was a body being carried inside the ambulance. That familiar blonde hair, that familiar slender figure on the stretcher…I didn’t need any more proof.
‘Uruha…’
And that’s how I got to where I am now. The sole explanation why I rushed out of my apartment and made my way to the hospital they sent him. The firm ground on why I stayed with him all this time. And I have no intention of leaving him alone.
It’s been 4 weeks already and still, Uruha remains unconscious. And during those 4 weeks, I’ve never left the hospital. Thankfully, the guys stop by to either keep me company or bring me something to eat. But my appetite isn’t as great as it usual is,
There would be times when doctors would tell me to go home and rest, but I’ve always declined. Nurses would come in and advise me to let my guard down and let them handle everything. Still, I tell them what I’ve always told them.
“There is no way I’m leaving him. I’ll stay.”
More hushed than a whisper but with all of my love for him, I said it again right then and there as my hand held onto his.
“I’ll wait for you because I love you…Uruha…”
おわり