I echo what some others have said: Ask her for reassurance. I like the "You're not going to make me leave when I'm 21, are you?" question, as it goes directly to your primary concern.
And as for mothers always being mothers: My Aunt Charlotte (who was very probably on the spectrum) lived with her mother and brother all her life. When Charlotte was 62 and her mother was 81, Charlotte was preparing to go out for some reason...her mother looked at her and said, "It's going to be cold tonight, you ought to take a sweater."
You will always be her little girl. Maybe not every second of every day, but in some aspect that will never change.
I second what others have said about just outright voicing your concerns and asking for reassurance. But you already say, "My mother has always let me know that she is fine with and even expects me to live at home with her for my entire life." Life doesn't cease at 20 or 21. Especially since we don't know you, your mother, or your situation, you've already provided yourself more reassurance than any of us reliably can
( ... )
It sounds like your mother is committed to supporting you for as long as you need it. But if you need reassurance from her as your birthday approaches, I would suggest not only asking her for reassurance but making it as clear as you can that it is very stressful to be turning 20 and that you might need lots of reassurance for the next little while. I have always found that the more direct I am with the people that support me, the better they are at supporting me--because that way they know exactly what I need and when I need it.
And honestly, if it is distressing to think about having to live as an adult, maybe right now is not the time to be pushing independence on yourself. You have the rest of your life; maybe it would be helpful if you told yourself that you don't expect you to suddenly be grown up this year or next, and that you can take your time, no matter what societal messages might come with the next two birthdays. People who are on the spectrum are not necessarily going to do things on the same timetable as NT's; if you
( ... )
Comments 9
And as for mothers always being mothers: My Aunt Charlotte (who was very probably on the spectrum) lived with her mother and brother all her life. When Charlotte was 62 and her mother was 81, Charlotte was preparing to go out for some reason...her mother looked at her and said, "It's going to be cold tonight, you ought to take a sweater."
You will always be her little girl. Maybe not every second of every day, but in some aspect that will never change.
Reply
Reply
Reply
And honestly, if it is distressing to think about having to live as an adult, maybe right now is not the time to be pushing independence on yourself. You have the rest of your life; maybe it would be helpful if you told yourself that you don't expect you to suddenly be grown up this year or next, and that you can take your time, no matter what societal messages might come with the next two birthdays. People who are on the spectrum are not necessarily going to do things on the same timetable as NT's; if you ( ... )
Reply
Leave a comment