I second what others have said about just outright voicing your concerns and asking for reassurance. But you already say, "My mother has always let me know that she is fine with and even expects me to live at home with her for my entire life." Life doesn't cease at 20 or 21. Especially since we don't know you, your mother, or your situation, you've already provided yourself more reassurance than any of us reliably can.
Also, have you given yourself the chance to see if you're able to handle more independence? You might surprise yourself with what your capable of, and you might actually find that you like that better and flourish more. I don't mean to be offend, hurt, or anger you, but the overwhelming desire to be "mommy's little girl" all your life struck me as creepy and sad. Your mother has voiced her willingness to always be there for you to fall back on as long as she's able to be, but we're not completely helpless people, and we can learn and adapt, and we shouldn't give up on ourselves before we even try to see what our individual potential is. Why limit yourself to the role of the little girl for your entire life? Why not give yourself a chance to see what you as an adult is like? It might feel awesome; you might really rock at it. Start off small, of course, but don't give up on yourself before you ever even try.
I know we're not all the same, but I moved out at 17--would have sooner if I hadn't been in school and could have worked to support myself--and haven't looked back. I definitely have my difficulties, to be certain, but I'm independent, and I gain a lot from that, and not just in ways you'd expect. Realizing just how much strength I have and just how much I'm capable of has been eye-opening, and although I'll never be "perfect" or even pass for NT, there are even times my Aspieness gives me an advantage. It's rare now that I think of myself as not being able to do something; it's just a matter of doing things differently and trying to figure out how I need to go about it as opposed to NTs. And one definite benefit of living alone is that it's far easier to control any sensory or anxiety issues, as I have nigh complete control over my environment. I've just been lucky enough to find a job where I work mostly alone, can set my own hours, and can support myself on the wages. I know not everyone has that or is able to work. I don't think people have to be independent to be successful or to be whole people...but I think not even giving oneself the chance...small steps at a time, of course...to be more than a child leaves one unfulfilled. And my apologies if I'm speaking out of turn and you have tried. That's just not how you came across to me at all.
Also, have you given yourself the chance to see if you're able to handle more independence? You might surprise yourself with what your capable of, and you might actually find that you like that better and flourish more. I don't mean to be offend, hurt, or anger you, but the overwhelming desire to be "mommy's little girl" all your life struck me as creepy and sad. Your mother has voiced her willingness to always be there for you to fall back on as long as she's able to be, but we're not completely helpless people, and we can learn and adapt, and we shouldn't give up on ourselves before we even try to see what our individual potential is. Why limit yourself to the role of the little girl for your entire life? Why not give yourself a chance to see what you as an adult is like? It might feel awesome; you might really rock at it. Start off small, of course, but don't give up on yourself before you ever even try.
I know we're not all the same, but I moved out at 17--would have sooner if I hadn't been in school and could have worked to support myself--and haven't looked back. I definitely have my difficulties, to be certain, but I'm independent, and I gain a lot from that, and not just in ways you'd expect. Realizing just how much strength I have and just how much I'm capable of has been eye-opening, and although I'll never be "perfect" or even pass for NT, there are even times my Aspieness gives me an advantage. It's rare now that I think of myself as not being able to do something; it's just a matter of doing things differently and trying to figure out how I need to go about it as opposed to NTs. And one definite benefit of living alone is that it's far easier to control any sensory or anxiety issues, as I have nigh complete control over my environment. I've just been lucky enough to find a job where I work mostly alone, can set my own hours, and can support myself on the wages. I know not everyone has that or is able to work. I don't think people have to be independent to be successful or to be whole people...but I think not even giving oneself the chance...small steps at a time, of course...to be more than a child leaves one unfulfilled. And my apologies if I'm speaking out of turn and you have tried. That's just not how you came across to me at all.
I hope all goes well for you, and Happy Birthday!
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