I can relate to a degree, though I don't know how old your mother is -- mine is almost sixty, and I'm turning twenty-one this year so I expect to live alone at some point because if I'm not getting into an accident or get a lethal disease, she's probably going to die before I do. I fear this day already which is likely the reason why I keep talking about moving to another country later. Knowing myself, if I don't majorly change sometime soon, this won't ever happen (which I think is sad because I would love to see all those big cities and beautiful beaches). My mother says I keep pulling the PDD card whenever I feel like it, but that's not true. Sure, it's 50% in jest when I say that I can't do this or that because I've got PDD, but the other 50% is my fear trying to tell her that I might be able to do this or that, but I'm not sure I can and would like to have some assistance even though I should just do whatever on my own at this age
( ... )
Well... my mother is 55 and is still her father's "chicky-babe". She is still my grandfather's little girl and always will be until the day he dies.
And for me, I'm 22 and trying to convince my parents to let me live on me own and they are they trying their hardest to force me to move back in with them in Dec. after I graduate from college. The complete opposite of kicking me out. Just because someone turns 21 does not mean they will get kicked out of their parents' home. That's pretty unusual.
When I need reassurance by my main support person, I ask him for it as many times as it takes for me to feel better. Since he knows that I have issues, he’ll give me that comfort, even when I get annoying about needing it.
From what you described of your relationship, I bet your mother would be happy to tell you what you need to hear until you are okay again.
my mom say that when i turn 21 someone change me and deliver this stranger...
well it take me years and running away from home to make clear that i really grow up and i was growing up little by little like anybody else!
so my advice and now as a mother of an asperger too
talk to her, explain that you not be around her entire life, but you will never going to forget her and love her!
and make little changes, like goes out for a weekend without her with a friend or something but won't telling her nothing until you are there. and you say " Mom i will be for the weekend with a friend i call you bye!!!"
so when you will tell her your plan of going will be lesser strong, for you and her
always reassure her that you love her, but you need independence to grow and that you will live in a world of grown ups and you need to know what it means to be one.
Aw, hell, I still get treated like a little kid sometimes, and I'm 24.
You are not magically imbued with "Responsible Adulthood" magic pixie dust on your birthday, or any other day for that matter. Turning a certain age says a lot more about other people's maturity than it does yours.
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And for me, I'm 22 and trying to convince my parents to let me live on me own and they are they trying their hardest to force me to move back in with them in Dec. after I graduate from college. The complete opposite of kicking me out. Just because someone turns 21 does not mean they will get kicked out of their parents' home. That's pretty unusual.
Reply
From what you described of your relationship, I bet your mother would be happy to tell you what you need to hear until you are okay again.
Reply
my mom say that when i turn 21 someone change me and deliver this stranger...
well it take me years and running away from home to make clear that i really grow up and i was growing up little by little like anybody else!
so my advice and now as a mother of an asperger too
talk to her, explain that you not be around her entire life, but you will never going to forget her and love her!
and make little changes, like goes out for a weekend without her with a friend or something but won't telling her nothing until you are there. and you say
" Mom i will be for the weekend with a friend i call you bye!!!"
so when you will tell her your plan of going will be lesser strong, for you and her
always reassure her that you love her, but you need independence to grow and that you will live in a world of grown ups and you need to know what it means to be one.
Reply
You are not magically imbued with "Responsible Adulthood" magic pixie dust on your birthday, or any other day for that matter. Turning a certain age says a lot more about other people's maturity than it does yours.
Reply
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