Comments | asperger: Melt Down

laurabelle1 in asperger

Melt Down

Aug 13, 2009 18:08

Its funny how even though we live with being on the spectrum every day, I can totally forget how affected we are. I hurt my back in May, and I haven't until just recently gotten to the point where I can really do much in regard to cleaning house. So I decided the other day that I was going to work on Lina's room (Lina is my daughter Who is High ( Read more... )

change, meltdowns, parents, username: l - lf

Comments 22

novanglus August 14 2009, 02:40:52 UTC

A tangential comment: I've read about cases where people have been held hostage for months or years (as prisoners or war, for example), and their families think the thing to do for them when they finally are released is to decorate the house and get new furniture and everything so the home will be extra special for them. But the ex-prisoners report that they spent much of their captivity trying to retain their memory of home exactly as it was, wanting every item to be exactly as when they left -- every worn piece of carpet and furniture scratch -- their only sense of stability in a chaotic world.

laurabelle1 August 14 2009, 04:02:08 UTC

The more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

polygonia August 14 2009, 02:46:50 UTC

I got to wonder if my territorialness about my space is part of my aspergerness because I really hate having folks in my space.
It's one reason why it's so messy, because it's my sanctuary to destress from the wider world.
Which is full of packs of people making really annoying noises.

laurabelle1 August 14 2009, 04:18:34 UTC

Your statement definitely makes me think of Lina and gives me a better understanding too. It's certainly important to have a little bit of sanity in world full of too much noise, smell, tactile and visual stimulus.

polygonia August 14 2009, 04:22:28 UTC

Indeed. I love this apartment, especially when I have a job and I'm working all week. It feels good to come here and just unwind and relax and chill...
Plus there's no one to yell at me and happy hermit crabbies

Though it really needs to be organized. Some folks take a while to get used to things being different and in different places, so I can understand that.

But dang is this place messy.

laurabelle1 August 14 2009, 04:37:14 UTC

Lina has all the things in her room that make the world bearable for her. There's her computer and her books. She also has her stereo and her ipod and especially her rocking chair, which both spins and rocks. I won't be messing with her private space again without her being in charge ever again. I can live with messiness to a certain degree. Its not like I have to live in there.

Thread 9

jehannamama August 14 2009, 02:47:12 UTC

It's amazing how sometimes even good changes are upsetting to so many of us, but that's just the nature of things.

laurabelle1 August 14 2009, 04:22:13 UTC

Lina's psychiatrist says that stress is stress and it doesn't matter weather it is from something good or bad it is still hard for Lina to cope with.

(The comment has been removed)

laurabelle1 August 14 2009, 05:22:56 UTC

I learned the hard way not to rearrange things without Lina's permission. I wish she would never have to feel like that again.

(The comment has been removed)

laurabelle1 August 14 2009, 05:32:51 UTC

I am so sorry for your experience. It makes total sense for you to not want people getting into your things, especially when you are not there. If people respect you, they shouldn't be getting into your stuff without your permission anyway. I need to clarify here a bit. I cleaned and rearranged Lina's room, but I did not go through her desk or her drawers or any thing. Even at that though, I still should have not done anything without her permission.

(The comment has been removed)

laurabelle1 August 14 2009, 07:08:13 UTC

I try to really pay attention to Lina. If I try to interact too much, It just stresses her out more though. I kind of try to let her come to me. But a lot of times she has a hard time explaining what she needs from me. I guess it is a lot of trial and error and patience. Being a part of this group is incredibly helpful. So many of the people here deal with the same things that we do every day and I've noticed that a lot of you are eloquent and able to explain things to me that Lina isn't capable of yet. I will frequently show her postings from here where someone from here describes a behavior or feeling that they have and how they reacted to it, that I think might be applicable to her, and Lina will say that that is how she felt about the same thing. It is such a relief to be able to talk to people who really understand the things that Lina deals with every day. The bottom line is that this group builds a bridge between Lina and I. This helps me to be a better parent and friend to my daughter. I am incredibly grateful to you ( ... )

Thread 5