Advice wanted.

[happynoodlelady]

I've had to go to school a lot recently to help escort my daughter to and from class, the lunchroom, ect, because she will balk and refuse to move when instructed to do so. She laughs and runs away from her teachers. She has had a doctor's diagnosis of HFA for several years now, but the school still won't work with us on an IEP. When I asked the

Comments

[kisekileia]

What others said. I would try really hard to find out HER perspective on what's going on, since there's obviously some sort of reason for her behaviour. Other people have covered the main possibilities--bullying, sensory overload, difficulty with transitions, knowing that the teachers and other kids do not respect her or her needs. I would also start dealing with higher officials in the school system who can force the principal to put an IEP in place, and have whoever assesses/treats her HFA issues speak with her teacher. If you continue to get resistance to the idea of an appropriate IEP even after dealing with higher-level officials, bring in a lawyer and threaten to take it to the media. If you don't get vast improvement at that point or sooner, pull her out and homeschool her. An educational environment that refuses to acknowledge and accommodate your daughter's special needs, and blames behaviour that is probably autism-related on just 'being a bad kid', is an unsafe environment for your daughter and I would not leave her there.

[urocyon_c]

Yes, trying to get her perspective on this is a good plan. I have to throw in, though, that you might have to go at it from some different angles if she can't tell you why this is happening straight off. Especially since it sounds like the school is neglecting her needs, and she may well believe at some level that the difficulties she's running into are Just The Way Things Are, while she's being a stubborn PITA. (Yes, I am familiar with that treatment from school officials.) It took me a long time to be able to figure out what was wrong, much less identify what might actually help me in situations like that, when not many options had been offered before.

Other people have offered some helpful sounding comments on trying to make sure she gets an IEP--wish I could add something on that. Good luck!

[kibbles]

Ok, when they refused to reevaluate, did you get a notice of refusal or anything? Were you given a handbook of your rights from the state and the feds

[happynoodlelady]

Thanks or the advice and input! We just switched to a new school, but if you search the community tags for my name you'll find some entries from our last school experience like this one here http://community.livejournal.com/asperger/2218846.html... )

[kibbles]

As I go through this, check this site out, and see where you are in the process

[azalynn]

I basically got a pat on the head like I did last time with the whole "we'd prefer not to saddle her with a diagnosis at this time and let's see how she does".

Uggggh, that sounds like what my parents got *constantly* when I was growing up. Yes, they kept "labels" off me until I was dxed on the spectrum in my twenties (I am 30 now) but that did not magically make me capable of regular classroom stuff and I just kept constantly falling behind and having "issues". I don't get why schools are so weird about that kind of thing.

[r1vethead]

You should bring this to the attention of the school board.

Speaking personally I was never able to eat lunch in public at school. ever. So I simply didn't eat every day throughout all of elementary school.

[teamnoir]

Others have offered plausible reasons for her behavior.

As for the IEP, I'd think it was time to enlist the support of her diagnosing doctor.

[happynoodlelady]

Unfortuately we've since moved about 1k miles from that doctor earlier this year.

[teamnoir]

Then you may need a new one.

Aspergers is a social thing. What qualifies as needing help in one place may be different from what qualifies somewhere else. I think it would depend a lot on where you were, the school system, state, general social climate, etc.

[laurabelle1]

Don't second guess yourself. Get an educational advocate. I have read IDEA and just by virtue of the fact that your daughter is on the spectrum she has the right to have an IEP. An advocate will make it happen. The principal has her own agenda. An IEP is a legal document, basically, it is a contract. Anything that is written in it is legally binding for the school system, this is only part of the reason that they might not want to write out any new IEP's if they don't have to. It sounds like your daughter needs an aide. That is going to be an expense where the school district will have to find money that they may not have. Believe in yourself. Here is more food for thought. I seriously doubt that any of the staff at your daughter's school is a neurological psychologist, psychiatrist or child psychiatrist. In other words the school staff is not qualified to evaluate your child or to tell you what her motivations for her behavior are.

[happynoodlelady]

I agree, I think an aide would be a good thing. She goes to summer camp with YMCA every summer, and for an extra $100 we pay they give her an aide who basically stays one on one with her all day, every day that she's there and she doesn't have any problems.

[kibbles]

Once you get the ball rolling, she may be eligible for extended year services. Part of being on the spectrum and the whole LRE thing means peer interaction with 'typically developing children' is vital. She may actually have some of camp paid for, to get that interaction, AND the school could send their own para, instead of you hiring one. It has happened.

Also, have you looked into medicaid waivers? They'd pay for camp as well, as part of respite care.

[happynoodlelady]

I tried to get her on SSI/medicaid and have had a catch 22 when it comes to that because when I applied with them they said since she doesn't have an IEP or any special accomodations at her current school she's not disabled.