Well, I don't know what to tell you other than this. I'm 48 and still am unable to socialize in ways that involve small talk. Outside of family, I still only have online friends.
I've tried and tried but don't think I can get enough right to ever be socially adept.
I do get along with others more like me, meaning those action/topic/task/hobby oriented folk who can stay focused for hours! And enjoy it! Without any signs of mental fatigue! People who glow at the idea of watching the history channel, NASA, and learning as a lifestyle. People who don't bother to lie or hint at things but just say what they mean, if it's important, with at least some amount of tact.
Unfortunately, I've found that much less than one percent of the general population fits in this category and even fewer of them would have enough in common with me...
Use your talents and get to know people through them because most of the socializing you'll accomplish will probably be education/job/project/hobby oriented.
i either fall into a riff, which people rave about later on (and i don't remember a word of) or i'm dead silent. what i really can't figure out is i'm known for my 'dry wit', and it is always based on my simply blurting out what i'm thinking.
It always really surprises me when people think it is a sense of humor. I do have one but no one laughs at my real jokes nearly as much as my blunt observations. If it makes them like me though, I'm for it.
I have felt this way all my life. I have always been labeled as 'the quiet one' and I have gone through periods of embracing that label and of trying to break free from it. I have also tried to do the thing where I have made 'people' my interests and have recently stopped because I found that I became a bit of a people addict and spent too much time and effort trying to 'get along' with others. I'm not sure I can really give any good input but I can say that I have very similar sentiments about dealing with people and I couldn't have put it better myself. As it stands right now, I have not been more confused about how to interact with other human beings, to what extent I should be interacting with them, and who I should be avoiding. :-S
With me it has definitely got easier to do the small talk thing (though I can only take it for limited periods of time) as I've got older. But it still seems boring and pointless to me.
What I tend to do to make it less so is to try and lead/twist the small talk into more quirky, interesting and amusing avenues. NTs don't always respond well to this, but quite often they seem to find it refreshing and entertaining. I sometimes get the impression that even NTs can get fed up with small talk, though they feel obliged to do it all the time.
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I've tried and tried but don't think I can get enough right to ever be socially adept.
I do get along with others more like me, meaning those action/topic/task/hobby oriented folk who can stay focused for hours! And enjoy it! Without any signs of mental fatigue! People who glow at the idea of watching the history channel, NASA, and learning as a lifestyle. People who don't bother to lie or hint at things but just say what they mean, if it's important, with at least some amount of tact.
Unfortunately, I've found that much less than one percent of the general population fits in this category and even fewer of them would have enough in common with me...
Use your talents and get to know people through them because most of the socializing you'll accomplish will probably be education/job/project/hobby oriented.
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maybe the smile helps take the edge off?
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I have also tried to do the thing where I have made 'people' my interests and have recently stopped because I found that I became a bit of a people addict and spent too much time and effort trying to 'get along' with others.
I'm not sure I can really give any good input but I can say that I have very similar sentiments about dealing with people and I couldn't have put it better myself. As it stands right now, I have not been more confused about how to interact with other human beings, to what extent I should be interacting with them, and who I should be avoiding.
:-S
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What I tend to do to make it less so is to try and lead/twist the small talk into more quirky, interesting and amusing avenues. NTs don't always respond well to this, but quite often they seem to find it refreshing and entertaining. I sometimes get the impression that even NTs can get fed up with small talk, though they feel obliged to do it all the time.
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