(Every "you" in following text indicates an abstract person.)
Lately I got this idea: to get better with people, get interested in them. It's an aspie thing: intensive, overwhelming interests. Make studying humans your project. Know why and how they do things, how they think, learn their skills, try playing their games and speak their language.
I kinda do this for some time. With receptive crowd it works. You won't pass as an NT, but it's a good thing: for one, you won't have to lie or pretend, on the contrary - you will make _yourself_ more clear while speaking their tongue. Next, you can teach them how you think and do things, so they could understand, accept and even get to like your quirks. For example, the small talk. If you're interested in what they say (as a part of human study project), they will see that you're listening. Especially if you will ask questions (it's natural if you're interested). They will value you as a listener and will like the conversation, as your questions and opinions will probably be something they wouldn't thought of.
That's mostly theory, as I'm not a group person... But it worked at my job, and at parties that my neighbor threw now and then, and in some other situations. I even openly say if I can't remember a face, and they find it not offensive but funny - in a good way. Yes, I _am_ lucky that people around are friendly and tolerant, I don't know how does it work with less friendly crowd...
Lately I got this idea: to get better with people, get interested in them. It's an aspie thing: intensive, overwhelming interests. Make studying humans your project. Know why and how they do things, how they think, learn their skills, try playing their games and speak their language.
I kinda do this for some time. With receptive crowd it works. You won't pass as an NT, but it's a good thing: for one, you won't have to lie or pretend, on the contrary - you will make _yourself_ more clear while speaking their tongue. Next, you can teach them how you think and do things, so they could understand, accept and even get to like your quirks.
For example, the small talk. If you're interested in what they say (as a part of human study project), they will see that you're listening. Especially if you will ask questions (it's natural if you're interested). They will value you as a listener and will like the conversation, as your questions and opinions will probably be something they wouldn't thought of.
That's mostly theory, as I'm not a group person... But it worked at my job, and at parties that my neighbor threw now and then, and in some other situations. I even openly say if I can't remember a face, and they find it not offensive but funny - in a good way.
Yes, I _am_ lucky that people around are friendly and tolerant, I don't know how does it work with less friendly crowd...
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