Don't you just hate when people...

[arathian]

... Try to pretend like they are being considerate and trying to compromise , when in truth they are CLEARLY being selfish and unyielding as all hell?

Oh and if certain people try to jump on my ass here, I say in advance"Piss off and remove yourself from my ass" as this topic is relevant.

Where was I? Oh yes. What am talking about in my case is

Comments

[old_cutter_john]

Apparently your mother is uncomfortable finding her way. Many Aspies are. Maybe she's an Aspie and you haven't noticed. Autism is hereditary, you know. Have you tried finding the address of the new shrink on an Internet mapping service and showing her the map?

You're angry. I don't see how it matters whether anyone here sees your anger as justified. Neither do I see any evidence that your mother is either insane or stupid. You seem to demand a lot from her, and she's under no obligation to provide any of it.

[arathian]

True but it seems she doesn't want to try but wants to act like she's trying and I think hypocrisy upsets most people

[shira]

I understand what you're saying, and I've felt that way about people/things before, too. And what I've learned is that in most cases, and maybe especially for an aspie (since we have very high demands in general, because things need to be "just so" in order for us to be comfortable in our heads), you basically cannot rely on anyone else... for anything. So my suggestion to you is to somehow find another way to get yourself to the doctor that you want to see, where you want to see him, and on your own schedule, and no longer rely on your mother to drive you there. I completely agree with yout that it's aggravating that you have the need to change doctors and she seems to not take it seriously enough to "want to" learn where the new place is, but that's getting into dealing with other people's issues when we have enough of our own to deal with. So yeah. Find a bus schedule or something. Even if you have your mother drop you off somewhere that you can pick up a bus, that's a compromise. Or call a cab. You're going to have to make your

[silverspar]

She may be reacting to your wanting to switch doctors the way she would react to your schizophrenic grandmother's zany behaviour. (ie, the way I would react if my schizophrenic father randomly wanted to go off his medication, for example. Or switch psychiatrists.) Aspergers is not schizophrenia, of course - but if you act very emotional/hostile/persecuted, your mother may not trust your judgment. If you haven't already calmly explained why YOU NEED these changes and why it hurts when she doesn't seem to want to help you, then you've totally got to ... you can't expect her to know the real deal through psychic powers or something.

[arathian]

I think she knows it. She is about impossible to get to listen to you if she doesn't already agree with you, believe me I have tried before, and always failed.

[thetwitchychick]

Whether your anger is justifiable, I couldn't say, but I can definitely understand it. My mom, for all of her self-centered well meaningness, will listen to me talking about AS/health issue of the day with a glazed look (I can tell she's doing it even when we're on the phone, even), and then she'll start in with 'Do you think it could be all in your head?' before cutting over to the latest and greatest of her day or critiquing whatever I've laid out for my future. It's kinda like, no shit? in my head? whodathunk that?

All I have to say is that the power to say 'gotta call you back, mom' has been a wonderful thing in having any sort of relationship with her. In my mom's case, she's extremely self involved, always has been. She's also really uncomfortable having another screwed up kid (2/3 ain't bad, is it?) and being in the middle of a constant soap opera of her own.

I've determined that family is supposed to annoy, irritate, and partially drive you insane. For me, though, there are a couple of good points.

[sin_agua]

Don't get angry with me for asking, as I don't fully understand your situation, but...why don't you drive and take care of your own appointments?

Honestly...I think you are being really really harsh. I can understand getting frustrated with people sometimes, being impatient, not feeling very empathetic...but really, I think you'd scare me a bit. I would be afraid to say ANYTHING to you for fear you'd go off on me.

Just an observation here and not a judgment call, but you seem incredibly self-righteous for someone who's so dependent on others. Do you find that works well for you? I'm already cringing here, but you did bring this to the group, so...

[arathian]

I don't thing I much care for being called self righteous, but to answer your question. I don;t drive myself because I do not have a license, a permit, or a car. There is no point in me getting a permit or more because I cannot afford a car. Well I could afford the CAR after a bit of saving but I couldn't afford the insurance

[sin_agua]

My apologies, I meant "self-righteous" as in "thinking you are always right - and possibly superior - and others are always wrong, and inherently inferior." I could not think of other words to describe what I felt I was observing.

Anyway, good luck.

[arathian]

No, not really. Lots of people are better than me, but usually just the ones that don't think they are. I just, if I arrived at a conclusion with some logic I tend to think I'm right unless proven otherwise.

Unless I know the subject is completely foreign to me and therefore KNOW the chances me me being right about it are slim to nil.

I can't help but feel I am at least somewhat better than complete assholes, and fools and from what I have seen the world is about 50% fools. However, that could easily mean HALF the world is better than me.

I'm not brilliant but I'm am not a complete idiot.

In this situation I think her lack of understanding is a bout of idiocy, though I'm not saying she always is.

But the key word is proof. If neither have any proof I'd say out of two people(me and someone else) I have about a 50% chance of being right or wrong.

At least you have the decency not to just insult me like you are certain you know everything about me like several people here.