Talent and the Social Fabric

[cheyinka]

So, I was reading a discussion (from 2005) about manipulation - "If someone is gifted with words or naturally charismatic, should they make an effort not to speak better than anyone else? Is using your gift at speaking the same thing as manipulating someone?" - and someone used the example of a poker game. If Alice is very good at poker, should she

Comments

[lastres0rt]

People tend to enjoy games more when they're equally matched. to continue with your DS example, I squash my boyfriend when I'm on MarioKart because I've actually played it semi-seriously, but when I go to conventions, I'm the one getting my ass handed to me. Do I practice less to keep up with him, or practice more to keep up with the convention group?

The clear answer, of course, is to just go shag the boyfriend. :-p

Talent is talent. Use it to make money, and suddenly people stop caring that you're better at it.

[kethar]

I enjoy chess and Go and similar games whether the other player slaughters me or I'm much better that the other person. It takes skill to make a game fun for the other person if you're better, but it can still be fun for both and both can learn. I love the games themselves. Winning and losing is irrelevant for me. Plus, each player plays different, so I can lose to someone "worse" than me and beat someone "better".

-ken-

[christinaathena]

The clear answer, of course, is to just go shag the boyfriend. :-p *laughs* Good answer! :-)

[idiotgrrl]

My ex and I used to play board games, as a family even, until it came to him that I consistently won. Then he refused to play them any more. I got out of the habit during our marriage - pity. I vaguely remember they used to be fun.

[l33tminion]

On a completely unrelated topic, that icon is win.

[cheyinka]

Thanks. You can take it if you credit me somehow :)

[writerwench]

There seems to be a deeply competitive streak in some NT's that distorts the 'social fabric' tremendously for everyone else

[christinaathena]

I think the whole 'let them win so they don't feel humiliated' thing is really stupid. It sets up deep resentments in the people who are making such allowances, and the victories won are hollow because they are based on lies. I agree. :-) As soon as I was old enough to understand that my mom was letting me win, I got mad about that.

It's the same way with cheat codes on games. I'd rather lose honestly than win because I used a cheat, and yet, there are clearly many people who feel differently. I just don't understand that. What's the point of playing if you're just going to use a cheat? I tend to be rather wary even of hints. Strategy guides, sure, but walkthroughs and the like just seems to me to take away the fun of it.

[kethar]

It seemed to severely threaten their male self-confidence if their girlfriend beat them at a game, even once.
...
NT's, especially males, do tend to be incredibly competitive, so being beaten is for these types a tremendous humiliation and shock.

That's something I don't think I'd ever understand about the rest (meaning those like this, obviously not all) or the male population. Why does it matter if you're better than your girlfriend? My wife is better at many things than me and I'm proud of her for it. I get very rack-headed when I think a fact is wrong and someone doesn't agree, but when evidence comes, it doesn't make me feel inferior. It makes me learn, which I love. I hate a "I told you so" attitude, but have no problem with the fact I'm wrong. Same thing with being beat. It's an opportunity to improve, not an insult. Anyway, off my soapbox and back to work.

-ken-

[irishtiger]

I think those are just silly mind games that people play. If you're good at something and don't boast/ are not cruel about it then why should you have to lower yourself for another. In your example your fiance didn't want to play anymore because you were better wanted you to do the work for him. My husband & I will set out to read or re-read a series to together, because I'm a fast reader and will finish far before him does that mean I shouldn't read anymore? No that's ridiculus! Also I have a larger vocabulary then he does, should I "dumb down" my verbage to match his? - Nooo I speak normally and if he doesn't know a word he asks, very simple. Everyone has their own talents, where you might outshine your fiance, he will outshine in another area it's a matter of fact.