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[___cynic]

Dearest fellow aspies, I have a question:

What exactly does it mean to be "in love"? Or what is your personal definition of the term?

Comments

[___cynic]

Dammit. I was afraid of that. Heh.

[sparrowrose]

E.F. Schumacher (In his book "A Guide for the Perplexed") refers to those types of questions as "divergent questions" while those that have an answer (like what is the best shape for a wheel to be) are "convergent questions" (because the various paths toward the solution converge upon one another.)

After explaining that difference, Schumacher goes on to say that the divergent questions are the most important and are the ones that we should spend most of our energy pondering and striving to answer/solve.

[polydad]

This gets debated roughly every six months on the polyamory boards; you might want to monitor the discussions there

[___cynic]

I think I understand what you're saying, but you're obviously thinking on a higher level than I am. Haha. Thank you.

[polydad]

While I appreciate the irony, I think you're alluding to the common practice of conflating love and lust, on the cultural grounds that we're not supposed to admit to being lustful. As if our simian ancestors would've bothered reproducing if they *weren't*...

best,

Joel

[lordalfredhenry]

Ooops. I revised my statement below. There is a higher love but it's not called "in love" in my parlance. Some objects can be the recipient of both types.

[lordalfredhenry]

Basically it's being horny and emotionally fixated on someone while dramatically pretending to procliam someone else's virtues...

[___cynic]

I think this answer is probably pretty acurate.

[christinaathena]

I don't think that's necessarily accurate. You can have love without lust. I think the emotional fixation is an important part of love. And I don't think it's "pretending to proclaim someone else's virtues". In my (admittedly rather limited) experience with the love spectrum, it seems more a matter of delusion. You genuinely believe the other person is great and wonderful and perfect, at least at the start.

[lordalfredhenry]

You genuinely believe the other person is great and wonderful and perfect, at least at the start.

This part's fair enough. I'll have to think about the rest. I don't quite consider that kind of love the same as being in love for some reason more by way of how I define terms.

[trenchcoatedson]

Love has to quite possibly be the most painful experience you've ever witnessed in your entire life

[lordalfredhenry]

Hey, that's really accurate description of the experience. Heart break really is one of the toughest emotional rides to go through.

[unico_love]

I like your description, too.

[estarcollector]

Best description of it I've ever read.