Comments | ask_aboutcoffee: Everything On The Internet Is True

ask_aboutcoffee

Everything On The Internet Is True

Feb 23, 2009 23:17

Well. You leave the internet alone for one day while arguing with your coworkers about whether Miley Cyrus looked more like a Christmas Tree or a Wedding Cake on the red carpet and all hell breaks loose ( Read more... )

reality gauge, protecting you from bad taste

Comments 126

la_victorienne February 24 2009, 05:33:07 UTC

Wedding Cake.

ask_aboutcoffee February 24 2009, 05:44:57 UTC

I'm honestly torn. From certain angles she looks almost flocked with fake snow, but then I look at the thing as a whole and think, yes, it's more like frosting.

demotu February 24 2009, 05:37:00 UTC

I have read Anonymous. You, sirs and madams, are no Anonymous.

*cracks up*

That is awesome. Also, we are so 32% real. In fact, I'm surprised we're as high as 32% real!

ask_aboutcoffee February 24 2009, 05:44:02 UTC

There are a lot of academic databases and cookie recipes on the internet. I estimate those make up approximately 28% of all Real Internet. Which means that the actual populous portion of the internet hovers around 4% Real. I suspect much of this remaining Real is photographs people took of themselves naked and didn't realise their exes would post to their myspace accounts.

51stcenturyfox February 24 2009, 05:39:16 UTC

Powerful Witch? Bitchen. I'm totally claiming that one.

Feel my wrath! *zoink!* That was my wand, doing stuff. Did anybody feel that?

Crap. Okay. I must be a cat. Dammit.

ask_aboutcoffee February 24 2009, 05:41:42 UTC

I could caption you, if it would make you feel better.

51stcenturyfox February 24 2009, 05:45:28 UTC

That would be cool, Ianto. You're so considerate.

ask_aboutcoffee February 24 2009, 06:05:41 UTC

I think you'd look good in a CHARGIN MAH LAZERS though of course everyone looks good in INVISIBLE SANDWICH. Can you make the INVISIBLE SANDWICH pose with relative ease?

Thread 6

kalichan February 24 2009, 05:48:17 UTC

Anonymous was a genius, the author of such works as Beowulf, the Mabinogion (UP WALES), the Voynich Manuscript*, and, depending on who you believe, all of the Shakespearean Canon.

* Actually we've cracked the code on this but it's much more interesting as a mystery.

Ultimately, I am sorry to say it but it simply must be said: I have read Anonymous. You, sirs and madams, are no Anonymous.

Next we'll have people claiming to be the great and oft-cited academic and belle-lettrist Ibid. I ask you, what is this world coming to?

In addition, Ianto, speaking of things that must be said, I must confess that, as of reading this post, my feelings for you have... burgeoned. In short, I love you. If you ever feel like throwing Jack over (or two timing him, again), please do give me a ring.

ask_captainjack February 24 2009, 05:53:14 UTC

Bitch, don't even. I thought we were cool.

kalichan February 24 2009, 06:15:58 UTC

Oh, Jack. I thought you'd be into the two-timing. The more the merrier, right? I love you too! Can't we share?

ask_captainjack February 24 2009, 06:20:36 UTC

I know from experience, being torn between lovers hurts Ianto's digestion. His whole GI tract, actually.

When he gets the irritable bowel, it's bad sweetheart.

It's bad for us all.

I think it's best for everyone if I take care of your sexual needs personally so Ianto will have more time to take care of my sexual needs.

Thread 18

timeagency February 24 2009, 06:09:11 UTC

Reality Gauge? Is that a Lajore-Astin v.7 or the more common McKennath Triple Check? If it's the LJ7, keep in mind the error rate of plus or minus 10 percent so it is possible that people you meet on the internet are negatively real.

Is Anonymous vegetarian, by any chance?

ask_aboutcoffee February 24 2009, 06:14:19 UTC

According to the label it is the Lajore-Astin By Virgin, but there's no version listed. Jack says the percentages are so low because it's factoring in the possibility that we may all be fictional, and not even in the mainstream uni(multi)verse. When he starts talking about that I tend to wander off for a snack, so I can't be sure I'm getting it correct.

To the best of my knowledge, Anonymous never ate anything at all. We certainly have no records of any eating-by-the-author going on.

timeagency February 24 2009, 19:57:44 UTC

What snack is appropriate for Reality Inquiry? Around here we don't dare eat for fear the snack will turn out to be unreal, or a Powerful Internet Witch (PIWs remain a threat into the 39th century.) The L-A by Virgin is a nice instrument. I wonder where Frank stole it from...

ask_aboutcoffee February 25 2009, 00:15:35 UTC

Nice to know some things are constants.

As for the snacks, generally it's just biscuits. Occasionally a nice sandwich. It's hard to imagine biscuits being unreal, isn't it?