Shh. Butler in the hole.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Hello beautiful people on my butler's livejournal !

This is Captain Jack Harkness throwing to it you live from the hot sexy desk of Ianto B. Jones.

Comments

[taffimai]

Jack, I'm sure Ianto will be very appreciative of all the work you're doing for him. You do indeed look very professional in your business wear!

Just one question: why is the chair so tiny?

[ask_captainjack]

Because my personality fills a room. And all the chairs!

[taffimai]

Wow, I didn't realize that your personality had the power to shrink furniture!

I'm sure that was it and that it had nothing to do with any to-be-filed shrink rays laying about in Ianto's inbox.

[gwen_e_cooper]

Right, Jack.

That's actually my executive chair. Ianto likes to stand at his desk. He bought new rubber-soled shoes for that, as a matter of fact.

I'm off to do a sewer sweep for weevils in a bit, but I've made croissanwiches since he's still resting in your four-poster.

Do these need mustard?

[ametto]

I bet Ianto does that so he has an excuse to bend over his desk.

[gwen_e_cooper]

He doesn't need an excuse! Jack keeps knocking his pen cup over.

He's not really very subtle about it.

[ask_captainjack]

The problem is it's in the middle of the desk so I have to lean over (sexily) and then grab the cup and put it at the edge of the desk (sexily) and then bump it accidentally (sexily).

[lefaym]

You must have really tired him out last night. ;)

Of course, it was a little mean of you to open his death note early. I hope that you demonstrated a suitable amount of angst in relation to its contents (not the usernames and passwords, of course, I mean the other bits where he talks about feelings, what to do with his suits, etc).

[ask_captainjack]

I didn't look at the other stuff, Lefaym. Too personal. TOO SAD FACE-MAKING.

I stole the passwords post-it, and some of the "grief" choccies he left me.

And I might have sniffed the single flannel shirt hanging on a hook in there..just a little bit.

[1_mad_squirrel]

And I might have sniffed the single flannel shirt hanging on a hook in there..just a little bit.

How very Brokeback Mountain.

Now you'll have to hang it in your closet next to a postcard of the Brecon Beacons.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

We don't keep postcards of the Brecon Beacons!

They never accurately depict the cannibals and farm equipment.

[ametto]

Is Butler his middle name?
Nah- That'd be too obvious....is it?

[gwen_e_cooper]

It's... BRAN.

I know, right?

[smirnoffmule]

As in... flakes?

[neifile7]

As in ancient Welsh heroes. He's very fussy about that.

I think of him as Jack's Heroic Welsh Manmuffin.

[smirnoffmule]

OMG, Jack is now broadcasting from two livejournals! It's like double penetration, internet style.

[smirnoffmule]

Also, that's a lovely picture there, but your desk appears to be missing. Trying to secretary without a desk is like trying to Lassie without a bark.

[gwen_e_cooper]

Hacking Ianto's journal isn't hard. He put his password on the whiteboard, too.

Hart licked it off but it's still faintly visible. (How do you think I got in to post on CoT night?) :o)

Ianto thinks sharing means one of us will do the Weekly Update for him if he's indisposed. (AS IF).

[gwen_e_cooper]

Jack can do triple penetration! He's all into our privates!

He asked for my gmail password. "It's in case you die, Gwen. It's a Torchwood security requirement."

And then he read all of my fan fiction WIPs. They were personal!