WHY ARE THE COFFEE SHOP WOMEN ALWAYS THE CRAZY ONES?

[ask_aboutcoffee]

WHAT THE HELL

I MET THIS WOMAN AT THE CAFE (THE GOOD ONE NOT THE CRAP ONE) (THE CAFE NOT THE WOMAN)

Comments

[woman_of_]

OH Ianto, you so have to get people to stop being you. It is getting confusing. Then, you could always hook her up with female Jack from another universe.

Wow, with that foursome, you could have the porn industry tied up in knots. I can see a killing...In fact I will direct and be the screenwriter.

[ask_captainjack]

PORN? It would be a precious memory that I'd keep digitally for sharing only with original participants and future lovers.

[woman_of_]

You would have to be very careful with it, I could be worth a fortune!

[amand_r]

I'd keep digitally for sharing only with original participants and future lovers.

So, it would be broadcast on all BBC channels, then.

[askfor_bananas]

Just keep chasing her! Try and bring her back to the Hub in a roundabout way. Or you could tempt her with coffee, as it is now raining and cold. I've heard that works.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

I'm trying but now she's SLIPPERY.

[ask_captainjack]

TELL HER TO COME GET WRAPPED UP WARM IN MY COAT.

That works with you.

[thaddeusfavour]

Go Ianto! Go... Other Ianto!

There's just nothing wrong with this. ::grabs for some popcorn::

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Thad, maybe you can explain, your icon is suitably cosmic.

Why do I always end up having sex with me, when I meet me?

[thaddeusfavour]

Because you are inherently hot. Hotness personified. And waaay beyond cute. Oh that nose!

You, ultimate in both the hot and the cute areas, meeting up with another you, also ultimately hot and cute, emit sex-ions. These sex-ions blow away all the propriety you were raised with so that you can have sex with yourself. It's the universe's way of getting more hotness and cuteness.

You see, the universe likes sex better than anything else. Better than war. Better than money. Even better than shooting things in the face, though it's a close call. Thus, it endeavors to put you and you together so that it can increase "hot" and "cute".

That said, you'd better use protection if you're with Girl You, or Baby Jones won't be far behind. The universe demands it.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

It's the SEXI-ONS! I always suspected.

We can never have children, Ianto. The world isn't prepared for that level of cute.