Comments | ask_aboutcoffee: Mysterious Sheep Poo Disappearance

ask_aboutcoffee

Mysterious Sheep Poo Disappearance

Apr 16, 2009 12:20

We've been robbed!

Sometime last night a very clever criminal disabled the CCTV on the Secret Loading Dock, loaded up all the remaining talents of sheep poo, and made off with them. He or she left us a ream of sheep poo paper, as if to mock us ( Read more... )

problems i have, protecting you from bad taste

Comments 106

bone_lady April 16 2009, 19:07:14 UTC

Ok..calm down every one. Just stay calm. Ianto. Go outside. Look at the dock very carefully. I mean carefully. Get down on your belly, Jack do your commanding pose next to him and watch him. Now survey the loading dock very carefully. Use a magnifying glass if you must. Look for faint shoe prints, cigarette butts, ANY AND EVERYTHING. Follow the path that leads from the dock to the ground. Look for tyre marks or TARDIS scuffs...ANYTHING.

Jack, while Ianto is crawling around take plenty of pictures, especially of his bum survey the area and see if you see scraps of paper or smell anything suspicious. Look to see if anything got blown under the dock door ( ... )

bone_lady April 16 2009, 19:20:46 UTC

By one of these, I meant this. The UV light does work wonders when looking a grease absorption in bone:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/cubegoodies/8cff/?cpg=froogle

Look forward to those updates...

gwen_e_cooper April 16 2009, 19:36:34 UTC

NOW THAT IS GOOD DETECTIVE WORK!

(I know it when I see it, even though I didn't make detective before joining TORCHWOOD.)

Could we hire her, Jack?

bone_lady April 18 2009, 00:08:57 UTC

Aww thanks so much Gwen! I appreciate that. Do it everyday either with archaeological scenes or just with bones on their own.

I'd love to work for TORCHWOOD, but I suspect I'd have to give up my professorship and my consulting work....however just to look at Jack in that coat and Ianto in those suits would be payment enough.

Wait? Does Torchwood take on consultants who are exceedingly tight-lipped? Notice I don't keep a journal. Either way, I'm more than happy to offer my talents to the team. I've had fiction writers pick my brain, police detectives, and even Special Agents. All secrets stay here. Not giving out any information...nope. I'd also love to go shopping and have a pint with Gwen, Ianto, and Martha and scheme about ways to torment John .

timeagency April 16 2009, 19:38:41 UTC

When Reindeer Poo comes on the market again, I will be curious how different it is than the more mundane sheep poo. We have reindeer now, of course, but as they are now a voting bloc, asking them for their poo is considered rude.

Sheep poo is also somewhat rare in my time, for similar reasons. If I were investigating this theft of yours I'd keep an eye out for time travellers. Especially underwashed time travellers. I can check the database for which agents were on missions in the area, but as they are all banned from Cardiff, I am certain none of them was involved. Yet they might have noticed someone NOT of the agency streaming by the time lifts with a heap of valuable poo.

ask_aboutcoffee April 16 2009, 19:46:46 UTC

Perhaps the reindeer poo paper will be more festive!

I'm sure Hart wouldn't collect all that poo and then arrange for it to be stolen. It would be so frustrating to see all one's poo-laden work go to pieces like that!

hab318princess April 16 2009, 20:39:17 UTC

I may be silly, but why would you need a long shower??? maybe you smell? because you are, of course, very clever!

ask_aboutcoffee April 17 2009, 04:40:57 UTC

I don't smell! I just enjoy long showers. It's not a crime!

hab318princess April 17 2009, 05:30:30 UTC

ok, so sorry.... (but you are very defensive, that makes me suspicious)

ask_arealdoctor April 16 2009, 20:54:17 UTC

If anyone has ingested any poo please inform the pushy bossy doctor so she can make sure you don't end up with intestinal parasites or worms.

Thank you.

askfor_bananas April 16 2009, 23:50:48 UTC

I'm not-

Oh. You meant you, not me.

ask_arealdoctor April 17 2009, 00:11:23 UTC

You're the other pushy bossy Doctor. The other other pushy bossy Doctor.

askfor_bananas April 17 2009, 00:20:35 UTC

...right. And you thought temporal grammar was difficult.

Thread 6

askfor_bananas April 16 2009, 23:51:45 UTC

I disavow any and all knowledge of this happening.

ask_aboutcoffee April 17 2009, 04:39:40 UTC

Of course you weren't involved. The idea's absurd! What would you do with fifty talents of sheep poo. I'm sure if you needed sheep poo the TARDIS could provide.

askfor_bananas April 17 2009, 14:17:31 UTC

I just don't want to be accussed of anything just because my TARDIS is in the Secret Loading Dock. Although, I did hear some strange noises coming from outside the other night...

ask_aboutcoffee April 17 2009, 15:04:31 UTC

Probably best that you stayed in, I imagine. Otherwise I would have had to swear you to secrecy.

Thread 34