Sleepless in Seaforth

[ask_captainjack]

Dear Captain Jack: Hiya Captain Jack! This is sort of a medical/lifestyle question for you. :D I'm in my first year of college and it's really wearing me out. I study at my place late hours and I'm too tired to pay attention the next day. Don't think I'm a super party girl or that I drink a lot. Usually I just get to bed early enough but I hate

Comments

[gwen_e_cooper]

The dress is definitely for entrapment of vampire aliens and not for requesting massage chairs (and that ergonomic mouse).

When I want something from you, Jack, I just wave a fairy cake under your nose.

Hmm. But what if I should make a request while wearing the dress and waving a fairy cake?

[ask_arealdoctor]

Gwen! How can you stand working for someone who thinks menstruation makes a woman incapable? For a 51st century bloke, he can be such a pig sometimes!

[gwen_e_cooper]

Martha, I've learnt something about our Jack.

He says things to piss us off on purpose. "Shouty, indignant women." and "Chicks getting all up in my face" are the top two things on his list of turn-ons.

He left it in the breakroom once.

[ask_arealdoctor]

You and I are so going out after work. Often.

[ask_captainjack]

Hey, dudes getting all up in my face also piss me off.

HA HA HA!

No they don't, actually that's awesome! A huge turn-on.

Have you met Gwen's husband? He's famous for getting up in my face. There's a lot of him so I often have to turn my head quickly and breathe through my nose.

[gwen_e_cooper]

I KNOW, RIGHT?

It's such a massive turn-on when Rhys gets shouty. Sometimes I hide the remote and burn lasagne on purpose.

[ask_captainjack]

I should try that. I can burn the remote and hide lasagne too.

[gwen_e_cooper]

I can see Ianto's face now.

It's not a happy face. It's a shouty, pouty face.

[ask_captainjack]

Pouty face is best for nibbling on his flushed cheeks. I won't torture you with the details Gwen. It's pretty sexy. Whatever small details he tells you over coffee the next day, you have to multiply the sexy by TWO to really imagine it.

[gwen_e_cooper]

Oh, Ianto doesn't kiss and tell! We talk about X-Factor during our sofa coffee breaks.

Small details? It's so not like you to be modest about... that.

[ask_captainjack]

Ianto's the peacemaker in the office. I rightly assumed he didn't want to stir up workplace jealousies! That's probably why he has all those exaggerated complaints about my "smothering" while sleeping.

[gwen_e_cooper]

He's always on about the smothering, though. I think it's a sincere concern.

Maybe you need a fan for your manhole.

[ask_captainjack]

Good thought, Gwen. You're always thinking of others. I'll have to ask Ianto about installing one!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Whatever you do, don't give him the remote or tell him there's lasagne in the freezer.

[gwen_e_cooper]

Yes, we are!

And then I'll show you the rest of the list, because I photocopied it and it's so L O L.