Um... help?

[ask_arealdoctor]

Sorry to interrupt, but if anyone's around could you possibly come down to the morgue? That noise you're hearing is all the LOCKED drawers slamming open and there are dead people crawling out and I'm trying to push them all back in and pile things against the doors but I'm running out of chairs and boxes and HOW MANY DEAD PEOPLE ARE DOWN HERE

Comments

[ask_captainjack]

AW SHIT

ZOMBIES!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

There is so much mopping in my future.

[ask_captainjack]

MOPPING?

Don't worry about that now

YOU CAN CLEAN IT ALL UP AFTER THEY'RE DEAD (AGAIN)

LISTEN

HEY

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

I don't want you to get even a smidgen bitten

There's no room for error with zombie bites

I WOULD FREAK THE FUCK OUT IF I HAD TO MERCY KILL YOU, IANTO

[ask_aboutcoffee]

NOBODY WANTS YOU TO MERCY KILL ME LESS THAN I DO

JACK, DUCK

[ask_captainjack]

I'm like, practically flat on the floor!

What the hell has Martha been doing in here? There are chocolate smears everywhere. Hey I hope that's chocolate.

[ask_arealdoctor]

It's not chocolate, Jack.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Don't taste it to find out!

Max is herding them u --

Uh.

Not to worry anyone, but I think Donna's got hold of me.

Her tits are not as flat as we were led to believe.

[ask_arealdoctor]

I don't think this is the time for copping a feel, Ianto!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

I'm not copping a feel! Have you seen this woman? THEY'RE HARD TO AVOID.

[ask_arealdoctor]

JACK! BEHIND YOU!

[ask_captainjack]

GOT HIM!

HER

IT?

[ask_aboutcoffee]

That zombie has three heads.

Since when do we store aliens in the morgue? I thought we fed them to Myfanwy.

[ask_arealdoctor]

CRICKET BAT! GO FOR SIX!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

This is just like school sport, except with the undead. Brilliant.

MARTHA DID YOU SEE THAT ONE'S HEAD? It rolled all the way across the room?

[ask_captainjack]

We didn't have a Myfanwy when Alex was in charge.

He was strict. In a sexy way. Funny story, he wouldn't let us have a goldfish.

I know, can you believe it?

So, I was on him every day, "Alex, for fuck's sake can't we have a

SHIT IANTO DUCK!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

I KNOW

THERE ARE FIVE OF THEM

WTF UNDEAD DUCKS, JACK