Technology Tuesday!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

As some of you may know, the Apple iPhone upgraded its operating system this past week. I normally wouldn't be this much of a tech-head, but I inherited Tosh's after she died. It occurred to me that I ought to review some of the proprietary Torchwood apps that a Top-Secret Government Agency offers:

WeevilTrack

Comments

[inquireof_liz]

22-19, Harold.

44-7, sub 2. Yes.

I've had to completely reprogram the Jitterbug that your boss sent my boss to be iPhone compatible. (Actually, I simply got Apple to re-tool an iPhone to work with a modified Jitterbug case. It was easier.)

Liz is quite happy with it now. She enjoys the HBJ (Handbag of Justice) and the QEII Eyes (world leader tracker) apps. In fact, it's a bit disturbing how often I can hear the "whack" of a handbag from her office along with "Take That!" and "Ha!". I suppose it's not much different from your bosses office.

1-17? Same pub?

[ask_captainjack]

HANDBOOK CODE NUMBERS? Sexy.

Are you kids planning something butlery?

Are you getting together after work to discuss how to serve people better?

I have suggestions. Do you butlers check the suggestion box for my suggestions?

[inquireof_liz]

Of course we're planning something, Sir. We're butlers. We love planning.

I believe Ianto brings the suggestions along to our evenings. Always most enjoyable after we've knocked back a few.

Have no fear, Sir. These evenings help us to maintain our high level of service to our employers.

Harold

[ask_aboutcoffee]

1-17 indeed, but this time I'm not letting you shark me at darts. Billiards?

Has HRH discovered the Burke's Peerage app? It might be helpful at family reunions to decide who sits where.

[inquireof_liz]

Billiards it is. Though I should warn you, pool halls were quite the thing when I was growing up in Texas. That and... line dancing.

I shall inform her majesty of the new app. I'm sure she'll be pleased.

Harold

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Texas! Good lord, Harold, you do have depths we haven't plumbed.

You're not going to try to teach me line-dancing, are you?

Do you own chaps?

[inquireof_liz]

Chaps? Heavens, no! I learned pool in the local drinking establishment only to further my goal of becoming a good butler! Billiards, you see, being a gentleman's game.

Truly, I only ever yearned to be a proper British butler, to fill the role of service to others. When my brothers and sisters were out branding, roping, and wrestling with the livestock, I was inside folding linen and learning to serve tea. Naturally, I was mocked for my efforts, but I stood fast in the face of adversity and cynicism! I watched hours of public broadcasting in order to acquire the proper accent and a certain facility with the language. I have, as they say, lived my dream!

I think, all in all, my efforts have paid off. The day I accepted my Butler's Handbook was the proudest moment of my life.

As for line dancing, I pray never to hear the unfortunate strains of Achy Breaky Heart again as long as I live.

Harold

[ask_aboutcoffee]

And look at you now, butler to Her Royal Highness! You have made good, Harold. It's a rags to polishing-rags story for the ages, to be sure.

I'm so glad we're agreed on the line-dancing.

[1_mad_squirrel]

Her Majesty is quite a force with which to be reckoned with that hand bag. I certainly wouldn't want to get on her bad side.

[inquireof_liz]

Not to worry! I love squirrels, as I'm sure you must. Do come to tea if you're ever in town.