Technology Tuesday!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

As some of you may know, the Apple iPhone upgraded its operating system this past week. I normally wouldn't be this much of a tech-head, but I inherited Tosh's after she died. It occurred to me that I ought to review some of the proprietary Torchwood apps that a Top-Secret Government Agency offers:

WeevilTrack

Comments

[ask_captainjack]

You're the code genius, Hart, you write it.

Whatever he produces, don't download it.

I almost fell for his email about the Nigerian bank account.

If I hadn't spent so much time converting Nigerian dollars into shekels I might have sent him my banking info before you came in and yelled about "spam filters" and "media literacy".

[ask_aboutcoffee]

It's a very simple thought process!

Do they want my bank information?
If: No, then: no further action required.
If: Yes, then: Have I shown this to Ianto?
If: No, then: show to Ianto.
If: Yes, then: Do what he says.

[ask_captainjack]

A chart! Thanks.

It's almost the same as the Torchwood chart for "Should you eat this?" on the kitchen corkboard.

"Does it smell off?"

If: No, then: no further action required.
If: Yes, then: Have I shown this to Ianto?
If: No, then: show to Ianto.
If: Yes, then: Do what he says.

[rednwhiterose]

This chart idea should be applied to Hart.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Forcefully and repeatedly. Preferably the version printed on a cricket bat.

[rednwhiterose]

...that he has to read close up because it's in very small print?

;0)

[gwen_e_cooper]

Hmm. You don't seem to apply the same discretionary tests to chocolate things you find in my purse, boss.

I have a tin of them on my desk, you know.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

It's a good rule of thumb, in life and in snackery!

[oh_doask]

The plan ALMOST-WORKED! The same way my explosion ALMOST-KILLED Torchwood! And my plan made me ALMOST-RICHED! And my second plan made me ALMOST-GET-LAID-BY-EX!

I'M A FUCKING GENIUS!

[gwen_e_cooper]

ALMOST.

[oh_doask]

THAT'S CLOSER THAN YOU GOT TO JACK!

[gwen_e_cooper]

His hand is jammed in my back pocket for at least two hours a day.

I'd say that's pretty close, Hart.

And it has nothing to do with the fact that I keep mini Cadbury's in there.

[oh_doask]

That amoral.

I'm disgusted, Gwen.

Let me just sniff out out the Cadbury's in your pockets.

[gwen_e_cooper]

Wait. You're lecturing me on morals?

Two words: Murder Rehab.

I only shoot things in the face in self-defence.

Paws off my arse.

[oh_doask]

YOU SHOOT THINGS IN THE FACE AND TORCHWOOD PAYS YOU!

THINK ABOUT THAT GWENNIE-POO AND GET BACK TO ME ABOUT IT!

I WILL BE HERE LOLING!

And nomming your Cadbury's, just leave your pants here while you go off to have a deep think with emo tear tracks.

[gwen_e_cooper]

Oh, keep at it, Hart. And I'll give you something to cry about.