Comments | ask_aboutcoffee: Just Doing My Job...

ask_aboutcoffee

Just Doing My Job...

Apr 23, 2009 12:00

Part of my duties in the day-to-day operation of Torchwood includes scanning The Internet for mentions of aliens, monsters, temporal disturbances, and that sort of thing. About half the time it's total crackpots, and most of the rest of the time it's Luke Smith's Myspace. Apparently you don't get genius without a certain lack of discretion coming ( Read more... )

torchwood is srs bznss

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oh_doask April 23 2009, 17:50:41 UTC

One word: Snooker table.

gwen_e_cooper April 23 2009, 17:56:42 UTC

That's two words, Hartburn.

Here's two for you: severed ween.

ask_captainjack April 23 2009, 18:18:59 UTC

It will take him 6 to 8 weeks to grow one back.

ask_aboutcoffee April 23 2009, 19:30:11 UTC

Can we test this theory?

I'd get six weeks of peace.

ask_captainjack April 23 2009, 19:34:49 UTC

He'd be impossible while it grew back. Always showing off his nub! Measuring it and rubbing it against things. Regenerating parts always itch as they grow.

ask_aboutcoffee April 23 2009, 19:35:18 UTC

Alternately, we could behead him.

ask_captainjack April 23 2009, 19:36:13 UTC

But that would kill him!

oh_doask April 23 2009, 19:37:04 UTC

This massive wave of heat in my pants, is that love?

ask_aboutcoffee April 23 2009, 19:37:16 UTC

...and?

ask_captainjack April 23 2009, 19:53:23 UTC

Then who would hatch Bebe? You have enough to do. You have to order me some talents of Wombat Poo.

ask_aboutcoffee April 23 2009, 19:58:26 UTC

I'm afraid customs won't pass it, Jack. You'd have to go to Australia and collect it yourself.

thaddeusfavour April 23 2009, 20:19:36 UTC

Or alternately, you could get a wombat. Maybe twoo. But you'd probably have to confine them to separate areas of the Hub to avoid... vicious wombat fights to the death!

ask_aboutcoffee April 23 2009, 20:24:45 UTC

Max and Myfanwy would never stand for it!

Seriously, why do you hate me?

oh_doask April 23 2009, 20:27:03 UTC

The sofa is NOT an appropriate wombat area!

thaddeusfavour April 23 2009, 20:33:30 UTC

I... simply take delight in your astounding ability to overcome all obstacles flung, dropped, vomited, thrown, pooped and/or exploded into you path. You, sir, are truly a credit to the Welsh. They should place a monument to you in... some place or the other where it could be seen. Alternately, they could drop one into the ocean for the fish to enjoy. It could be the start of the Ianto Jones/Cardiff Municipal Funds Reef.

I love you! Really! But Jack made certain promises of an intimate nature if I'm able to get you on board with the whole wombat thing. Sorry.

ask_aboutcoffee April 23 2009, 20:34:56 UTC

You know Jack used to be a con man, right?

I am extremely good at overcoming obstacles, it's true. That being said, there's no real shortage of obstacles at the moment!

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