Loaded Dyce: Cool Kids Only

[ascendant_npc]

"Ladies and germs, how is your evening going for you? Really? Shut the fuck up. Listen to this: I open my newspaper every friggin' day and here I see killers runnin' around, muggles all up in our shit, and a pregnant dude. Not even just any dude, our own holy bearded caped crusader, Mr. Boy-Who-Will-Take-Your-Goddamn-Kick-To-The-Nuts. And I swear

Comments

[alunar_eclipse]

I can assure you sir, that whole thing was merely a misunderstanding. He was simply trying to remove a swarm of Nargles from his shirt (he had worn cologne that morning, silly thing), and everyone knows Nargles detest bologna. He now carries several slices in his pocket at all time, so their shan't be any more episodes, though it is making the laundry rather difficult. Any advice?

Bashful 'bout Bologna,
Luna Lovegood

[dodropdead]

Miss Lovegood,

Maybe you should try to distill a cologne from bologna. Two birds, one stone.

Hugs and kisses,
Izzy

[highnoonsun]

Lovegood,

Everyone does not know that Nargles detest bologna. Nargles do not exist. If you so wish to insist that they do, please succumb to their vicious attacks so we do not have to hear either of you blather on any further.

E.

[alunar_eclipse]

E,

Nargles do exist. Can you offer me proof that they don't? How simple minded you must be to deny yourself the smallest of possibilities. If one doesn't allow for the impossible then the world shall never expand and grow.

Also, I have a nest of them in the backyard, and they like to tie knots in my hair.

...So there.

<3 Luna Lovegood

[seeingdarkness]

Potter is not pregnant. It is a ridiculous rumor and anyone who believes it should be eradicated to prevent future generations being as dumb as yourselves.

It's been two years already, no one care what the Boy Who Lived ate for breakfast, or what strange mutant babies are growing in his non-womb.

Drop it all ready.

-T

[aug_dgreengrass]

About time someone said it!

Thank you!

- D.G.

[ascendant_bill]

Although, in all fairness he could be pregnant. Before he escaped from you-know-who, no one thought that anyone could survive the killing curse. Maybe he's just destined to be the first for a lot of things... like man-babies.

- W

[detriplethreat]

Perhaps you need a biology lesson. I have plenty of experience with the insides of people, and I can tell you no man I've seen has ever sported a womb, or womb like area.

There is no place for a baby, it would just be squished in with all the organs and die, rather like an ectopic pregnancy, it would have only the slimmest of chances at survival. And don't even get me started on male child birth.

Leave baby making to the women like it should be. And Merlin help us if magic has allowed for a male body to grow a womb for the purpose of child birth. That should be Dark Magic.

-D