The Empty Drawer

[arpent]

Comments

Love for "The Empty Drawer."

[ext_1028094]

Dear Mary!

I loved your story "The Empty Drawer." I look forward to its second instalment! Now...you've asked for constructive criticism...be prepared. :)

I enjoyed the opening "Once upon a time," but I felt confused by the /time/ that Roger chooses to go hiking in the mountains. Why choose "a cold and rainy day," when one can choose a "bright and sunny day"--especially since it's almost equally easy to become lost on either day? (I speak from vast and grievous experience :P)

Furthermore, for how many days does he wander, riboflavin-deficient, until the chopper finds him? How does eating pink algae and grass /make/ him riboflavin-deficient? What is a "a hawthorne spray of spun glass"?

I enjoyed the hospital scene, and was very happy to make the connection between Roger's motherly love and the black socks...but when will he meet the requisite Cute Girl who sees beyond his now-scaly exterior to the wonderful guy underneath?

I'm really looking forward to reading more, Mary. :)

Mike

Re: Love for "The Empty Drawer."

[arpent]

Ooh, thanks for the lovely comment. You know, you are one of my most attentive readers, and always spot it when I try to do some pseudoscience hand-waving. What, you mean "synergy" is not a magic word that explains all strange phenomena? :) From what I recall from school, riboflavin deficiency only sets in after a very prolonged period of malnutrition. As for the hallucinogenic algae, it probably contained some weird chemical... or something radioactive. And although I am willing to blush for the slightly purple description of Roger's dreams, I refuse to apologize :)

I am diligently applying my mind to finding the perfect girl for Roger, don't you worry. Maybe she will be a shark scientist, or a mutant reptile girl, or just very awesome and understanding. But he is going to have to get over his self-pity first.

Also, Roger loves hiking in rainy weather, because there are less mosquitoes.

Thanks for reading. There'll be another story next Monday.

[nejrnl]

Hey Arpent,

What is that name from/for anyway? I did enjoy Roger's tale of sock darning and woe. However, I kind of saw it as a back to nature tale where, now that society has rejected him, he goes hardcore Thoreau (who was actually shockingly un-hardcore himself but we'll leave that aside for now) and finds happiness in the woods.

I enjoyed the descriptions of the hallucinations a lot and I loved the modern day fairytale with a twist vehicle.

Does there need to be a girl? And if so must she be cute? Maybe he falls in love with a seal..

C

let's get Roger onto eHarmony....

[arpent]

Where he could meet a nice seamstress. Who specializes in unusual clothes for people with unusual superpowers. Tell me that's not an underexploited niche market.

You guys are the best for commenting. Love, Arpent

(I put a definition of my name in the bio section! My francophone friends laughed because it's totally a boring word in French...)