no baby no baby no baby!

[aroraborealis]

It will come as no surprise to exactly no one who knows me that I don't want to have kids. I've fantasized for years about permanent sterilization, but, of course, I know how much our desires and inclinations can change over time, so I always had age 40 in mind as the point at which I would pursue a permanent solution to the problem of my potential

Comments

[veek]

Whoa! I admit to being *very* curious about the physical effects of whatever you end up choosing.

[veek]

Thinking about it more, I actually think I'm more curious about the psychological effects. I'm imagining a freedom and an empowerment. But just as I knew that the reality of parenthood would be different from anything I could imagine before becoming one, I'm pretty sure that this part of your reality will have elements quite unlike anything I can imagine. That's what has me curious. :)

[aroraborealis]

Yeah! Definitely freedom and empowerment are things I anticipate feeling, and I'm curious what else I might feel. One thing I realized recently is that I think if I wait for menopause to change my (presumed) fertility status, it will feel like a loss even though I don't want to procreate, whereas if I'm proactive about changing my status, I think it will feel like a gift to myself.

[deirdre]

I'm out of date on the research of low dose hormones and long term side effects, did your doc point you to anything recent?

I've gotten mixed reports on Mirena from friends who have them, some love it, some feel like they had side effects they couldn't live with (I wish I could be more specific, but I'm naturally baby free so I tend to tune out the details of birth control conversations).

[aroraborealis]

She gave me some materials, which I haven't reviewed yet.

Naturally baby free! I'm envious!

[deirdre]

Being sterile makes life easy now, but it sucked a lot when I was younger and thought I might want a child someday.

[blk]

I have also been thinking about Essure for many years! My primary hesitation was that it is still a relatively "new" procedure (2002), and that I don't have enough information about the recent controversy regarding potential complications to determine the actual risk. Since other good options are available to me, I want to give it a little more time

[chenoameg]

Nothing constructive to add, but go you for knowing what you want and doing it.

[ricevermicelli]

I love my Mirena, but I wonder why your doc is suggesting it when you came in thinking Essure. I feel like doctors are sometimes chickenshit about permanent sterilization for women who don't have children, and sometimes overeager about it for women who do.

My issues with Mirena are that insertion can be painful, and that there's no guarantee about how the hormones work out. My Mirena is doing wonderfully for me, but given the annoyance of insertion, next time I need a new one, I'm strongly considering Essure. Other people have had different experiences. It's certainly worth considering, but if you decide against it, will having done the Mirena thing make it hard to switch to Essure? Is your insurance company going to be cranky about it or anything?

[aroraborealis]

Yes, I do think there's some reluctance on her part given that I don't have kids, though I think her level of hesitation was reasonable given that she just met me.

Technically/medically, I could do Mirena and then Essure (or vice versa, if I decided I wanted the permanent solution and also hormones), but good question re: insurance!

[signsoflife]

I was your age when I started talking to my doctors about sterilization, and not one of them twitched a hair about it.

I was gonna be all "that means some doctors respect women's choices!" but. . . I wonder if the fact that I am heterosexually married matters in this equation. I wonder if some of that concern "you might change your mind" is on behalf of your future husband.

[aroraborealis]

Interesting! I'm sure all sorts of factors come into play, and I definitely could imagine a husband tipping many people's scale in a way that a boyfriend doesn't.

My regular PCP, who I have been seeing for more than 5 years, didn't bat an eyelash when I brought this up in January, but she referred me to an OB/gyn who I've never seen before (my rock awesome gynecologist left her practice 2.5 years ago, to my everlasting sadness), and that's who I saw today. I found it reasonable for a doctor meeting a new patient who wants to make an irreversible decision about their body to ask some probing questions and give clear warnings about the potential risks, including the potential for regret. Happily, she didn't take it to a degree that made me feel like she wasn't respecting my choice (though I did have that concern, since it was also my first time meeting HER.)