eins // diary of the awesome me entry 001

[armywithcountry]

-- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'VE GOTTEN IT TO WORK! AS IF ANY FOREIGN PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY COULD POSSIBLY BE A MATCH FOR THE GREAT AND BRILLIANT PRUSSIA! PRAISE ME!

So all I have to do is shout into these little holes and people will hear me, huh? AWESOME!

[There's a brief pause as Prussia tries to figure out how to ask where the hell he is, what the

Comments

[hateslonglines]

.....

Not again....

[hateslonglines]

Fortunately for you the marriage is only valid in this town and surrounding areas.

Ja, that Japan. The Netherlands, Spain, America, England, and France helped cure him of his issues, however. As for Hungary and I, we've been separated since ninety-two years by my count. And probably because from where you're from it hasn't happened yet.

[armywithcountry]

[FUCK. Okay, so when in Hetalia canon did Austria and Hungary get married? Because I could have sworn they were married when Prussia seized Silesia, but the dual monarchy didn't actually occur until 1867 which I totally forgot about DERP. GDI Hetalia why so confusing. WHATEVER JUST PRETEND THAT WHENEVER I WROTE MARRIED I ACTUALLY MEANT LIVING TOGETHER.]

Ninety-two . . . that's impossible! You two were definitely together when I last saw you, and that wasn't even a year ago!

[hateslonglines]

Prussia, tell me, what year are you from?

[armywithcountry]

. . . I know you're trying to steal the Confederation from me, but this is a really stupid trick, even for you. It's 1815, idiot.

[hateslonglines]

I'm not trying to steal anything from you. I am only wondering because according to this place it is somewhere between 1950 and 1959...

And I happen to be from 2009.

[armywithcountry]

I always knew you didn't have a sense of humor, but that was bad, even for you. Don't try to make jokes again, it doesn't work.

[hateslonglines]

But this isn't a joke, it's quite real.

[armywithcountry]

That's impossible. Are you really going to keep doing this? Because I'm not going to fall for it! How can you be from 2009? How can over a century have passed without me noticing? You're making even less sense than usual!

[hateslonglines]

Quite simple, the town just decided to kidnap you from that time period.

[armywithcountry]

A town.

Kidnapped a country.

And not just any country, me. I mean, obviously it'd have no problem taking you, but me? I'm way too strong for this shit!

And now you want me to believe that it somehow kidnapped me through time? Are you even listening to yourself, Austria? Or have you been hanging around England too long? His hallucinations aren't actually real!

[hateslonglines]

It was hard for me to believe at first as well...this town kidnapped you four times....through time. It isn't just a coincidence that you are here.

[armywithcountry]

There you go again! I told you already, I've never been here before! Although it's not surprising that anyone, town or not, would want me that badly. But seriously, if you've been so desperate to see me that you've hallucinated me four times, you could have just sent me a letter. I would have ignored it, of course, but then again I'm not a complete sissy like you.

[hateslonglines]

Why would I hallucinate you as a child wanting me to steal cows for him?

....

Why am I wasting my breath?

[armywithcountry]

Every breath you take is a waste. I don't even know what you're talking about anymore. Just give up on this prank of yours and send me home. I won't even bring it up later, that's how fucking considerate I am.

[hateslonglines]

Even if I wanted to send you home, I do not have the power to do so.

And really, the droned you is much more foolish and idiotic they the real you.