horrible ( Read more... )

i still feel like everything is closing in on me. and that what i want is getting further away. i dont know which point to stop at and how far is far enough. but i think i will push it too far and i will be left alone.

we started a rumor o fun today.

It seems that no matter what goes on no matter what decision I make the same feeling will continue to suround the whole thing. I have no chance to just make things right because there will always be a wrong. I want to do things like i should and i want to make everybody hapy but i feel that i am not ever going to be able to make anyone happy. and ( Read more... )

And i just hate crying about things that i know can be fixed ( Read more... )

Today I did a lot of thinking and I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing more to this life than a mess of confusion. And that something is crying out to me to pick it up and embrace it and I am pushing it back because what if it interferes with the life that I think I should be having. And I sit here and feel the presence of all these ( Read more... )

i am definitely not having a very good day/week/month. a few good events have happened this week i have had fun but all the while have been inside tearing myself apart trying to decide what to do with myself. there is too much confusion. and little relief. sometimes when i talk to certain person/people i feel better, but thats not enough. or rather ( Read more... )

if you read my myspace and this then you will get the same thing. but i figured oh well...

i got a new puppy yesterday. hes 3 months old. its a rat terrier. hes so little and will only get a little bit bigger than he is now. hopefully i can get kyles brother to send me the pictures of his camera then i will have them either up here or on myspace.

college.......loving it. no real structure. a bit more freedom on whether or not you come to class ( Read more... )

i havent been home the past couple of days so heres an update...classes still going decently. i had my environmental lab today. the class seems like it is going to be a lot of fun. we go on field trips out to different places like waste energy treatment things. it should be good. i had environmental studies and policy as one of my possible choices ( Read more... )

hmm....first class of the day a movie theatre. not so bad...drive back to campus for second class of the day my philosophy class...nice class....however it takes me 20 minutes and circling the campus innumerable times to find a godforsaken parking spot. heaven forbid this school allots enough space for the tens of thousands of kids that they have ( Read more... )