There is absolutely no reason for me to believe you
Today I did a lot of thinking and I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing more to this life than a mess of confusion. And that something is crying out to me to pick it up and embrace it and I am pushing it back because what if it interferes with the life that I think I should be having. And I sit here and feel the presence of all these mixed emotions and notions of better things and push them aside because this is my life and it is filled with nothing worthwhile. Because it is mediocrity this life. I have let go of all the things that made me me and all the things that would have kept me alive. And so now I feel it all slipping away and am I chasing after it or am I letting it grow smaller?