B5 FIC :: "Shattered Glass: A Journey - Part 10" [Susan/Talia, R]
INDEX & DISCLAIMER INFO { DW || LJ }
19 April 2263
how can we succeed
when the odds overwhelm us?
is it insanity
to even consider this?
if we lose, she'll destroy us.
As I was finishing up in my office for the day, since one can never fully be done with one's work when one is the commander of Babylon 5, I was surprised to see Lennier waiting outside my office. His smile was tighter than I would prefer as he reminded me of our dinner date with Delenn and John. When he confirmed my suspicion that Talia was already in their quarters, and had been there most of the day, I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the worst.
I stopped off at our quarters to take a quick shower and change out of my uniform. God, but I love the time I can spend away from C&C, shedding that uniform like an unwanted skin. It was then that I found today's sanity snippet, and understood the tightness to Lennier's smile. A quick reminder of the date was all I needed to realize that we were coming up on the one year anniversary of that fateful day she and Jason finally defeated Control; not that I could ever truly forget that date myself. Of course, she's having anxiety and panic attacks at the memories.
When I first arrived at their quarters, John greeted me at the door to quiet me before we headed into his bedroom. I was a little uncomfortable at what I might find there, but trusted and followed him. Delenn was sitting up in bed, eyes closed but not asleep, and kept gently stroking Talia's hair. My beloved was sprawled out next to her, head pressed against the obvious bulge of Delenn's pregnant stomach, fast asleep.
We watched them for a few moments, and I fought the urge to go curl up behind her, keep her physically safe when I clearly couldn't keep her emotionally safe. In the end, I followed John back out of the room to help him make dinner, leaving our respective partners behind. We had a long talk while making dinner, something I've been missing with him gone so much back on earth doing his presidential duties. He told me that he's planning to start staying on the station more as Delenn's due date approaches. I know exactly what he was offering me with that information, and I am grateful to him. There aren't many people that I can count on as a good friend. I've missed having him and Garibaldi around on a regular basis.
When Talia finally woke up and exited the bedroom, she helped Delenn to the couch and then sheepishly wrapped herself around me for a quick kiss and an extended hug. She retreated to the couch, hand resting on Delenn's stomach, until John and I finished preparing the food. Dinner tonight was more subdued than normal, but not uncomfortably so. I found myself touching Talia more than I normally do, if only to reassure her that I'm still here and she's safe.
Once we got back to our own quarters, the frequent touching continued as we prepared for bed. Talia molded her body to my side, and I simply held her close, not wanting to let go ever again. We talked for a while, mostly about Delenn and her pregnancy, safe topics that wouldn't trigger her anxiety too much. Eventually, she nodded off to sleep before me. I lay awake most of the night, just holding her and stroking her hair and back, keeping her as safe as I possibly can.
Confirmation from Talia: Days like this happened a lot in the first couple of years after Control. It would just get so overwhelming and I felt like I had nowhere to turn. Thank God for Delenn and her limitless patience. I showed up at her quarters not long after Susan left for her office. I just couldn't stop the fear, the twitching, from happening. She listened and never judged me. She let me vent out my frustrations and fears until I cried myself out. She often became the sounding board I needed when I couldn't get to Robin for professional assistance. I probably pushed the boundaries of our friendship too much, especially in that first couple of years, but Delenn has repeatedly reassured me that I did no such thing. Her patience and compassion are a benchmark against which I measure myself daily; perhaps one day, I'll actually match her.
Original post @ Dreamwidth with
comments. Commenting is welcome on either post.
19 April 2263
how can we succeed
when the odds overwhelm us?
is it insanity
to even consider this?
if we lose, she'll destroy us.
As I was finishing up in my office for the day, since one can never fully be done with one's work when one is the commander of Babylon 5, I was surprised to see Lennier waiting outside my office. His smile was tighter than I would prefer as he reminded me of our dinner date with Delenn and John. When he confirmed my suspicion that Talia was already in their quarters, and had been there most of the day, I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the worst.
I stopped off at our quarters to take a quick shower and change out of my uniform. God, but I love the time I can spend away from C&C, shedding that uniform like an unwanted skin. It was then that I found today's sanity snippet, and understood the tightness to Lennier's smile. A quick reminder of the date was all I needed to realize that we were coming up on the one year anniversary of that fateful day she and Jason finally defeated Control; not that I could ever truly forget that date myself. Of course, she's having anxiety and panic attacks at the memories.
When I first arrived at their quarters, John greeted me at the door to quiet me before we headed into his bedroom. I was a little uncomfortable at what I might find there, but trusted and followed him. Delenn was sitting up in bed, eyes closed but not asleep, and kept gently stroking Talia's hair. My beloved was sprawled out next to her, head pressed against the obvious bulge of Delenn's pregnant stomach, fast asleep.
We watched them for a few moments, and I fought the urge to go curl up behind her, keep her physically safe when I clearly couldn't keep her emotionally safe. In the end, I followed John back out of the room to help him make dinner, leaving our respective partners behind. We had a long talk while making dinner, something I've been missing with him gone so much back on earth doing his presidential duties. He told me that he's planning to start staying on the station more as Delenn's due date approaches. I know exactly what he was offering me with that information, and I am grateful to him. There aren't many people that I can count on as a good friend. I've missed having him and Garibaldi around on a regular basis.
When Talia finally woke up and exited the bedroom, she helped Delenn to the couch and then sheepishly wrapped herself around me for a quick kiss and an extended hug. She retreated to the couch, hand resting on Delenn's stomach, until John and I finished preparing the food. Dinner tonight was more subdued than normal, but not uncomfortably so. I found myself touching Talia more than I normally do, if only to reassure her that I'm still here and she's safe.
Once we got back to our own quarters, the frequent touching continued as we prepared for bed. Talia molded her body to my side, and I simply held her close, not wanting to let go ever again. We talked for a while, mostly about Delenn and her pregnancy, safe topics that wouldn't trigger her anxiety too much. Eventually, she nodded off to sleep before me. I lay awake most of the night, just holding her and stroking her hair and back, keeping her as safe as I possibly can.
Confirmation from Talia: Days like this happened a lot in the first couple of years after Control. It would just get so overwhelming and I felt like I had nowhere to turn. Thank God for Delenn and her limitless patience. I showed up at her quarters not long after Susan left for her office. I just couldn't stop the fear, the twitching, from happening. She listened and never judged me. She let me vent out my frustrations and fears until I cried myself out. She often became the sounding board I needed when I couldn't get to Robin for professional assistance. I probably pushed the boundaries of our friendship too much, especially in that first couple of years, but Delenn has repeatedly reassured me that I did no such thing. Her patience and compassion are a benchmark against which I measure myself daily; perhaps one day, I'll actually match her.
Original post @ Dreamwidth with
comments. Commenting is welcome on either post.