Games: RenIchi Drabble
Warnings for angst, extreme Renji angst. Sort of a Sequel to Need: You and Me. It can be read alone. Take it how you will
-//-
You're a bastard, you know that?
I hate you, more than I've ever hated anyone in my life.
Which is just another reason why I can't forget you.
Your stupid hair, and all that attitude, like you own the fucking world. You don't, and just because you can kick my sorry ass doesn't mean you own it, too. You can't tame me, better men than you have tried. You came close to breaking me, but I wasn't going to let that happen.
I'm a stray dog, not a pet, and I won't be domesticated just because you ask it of me. This is who I am. Too bad that wasn't good enough for you.
Do you even remember the time we spent together, fighting side-by-side? Does that even matter to you? I watched your back, I held you up when you fell. I thought you were doing the same for me. Do you remember the stupid fights? The bonding over bad nicknames and petty squabbles.
Do you remember all the things you told me? About your mother, about your family? You opened up to me, you told me all about your fears and your dreams. Your words touched me, I'm not afraid to admit it. I've always thought you were brave and strong and admirable.
You almost killed me once, remember? And you apologized for it. You cried on my shoulder and told me about your nightmares, about the blood you could see when you closed your eyes. Did I turn you away? Did I make fun of you? No, I stayed, and I helped you forget, and you slept the whole night in my arms and I kept the nightmares at bay for you.
I needed you, and you needed me. So why did you do this to me?
What about the nights we shared, when you would let me touch you, pleasure you? Does it all mean nothing?
Think about it. Think about my hands on you, my mouth, my tongue. I touched you more intimately than anyone else ever had, I saw parts of you that you didn't even know existed. I saw that frown of yours disappear in the wake of bliss, I heard you moan my name and swear you'd never felt that way before.
Was it a lie?
You used to play with my hair, just running your fingers through it. You'd do it whenever we were alone, and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed all the little moments like that, every second we spent together where you could let your guard down and just be you. I treasured those moments. Did you?
If so, then why? Why would you do this to me? Why would you take away everything that makes me, me? Why would you tear me down, and tell me that it was nothing?
"It's been fun." Isn't that what you said? Like everything had been nothing but a game. "But I've got a regular, human life to live, and you won't share that with me."
I would've shared everything with you, I loved you. I fucking loved you, Ichigo.
But I guess it doesn't matter now.
I suppose I'll just have to find someone who won't try to tame me.
Let me know how your human life turns out. I'll be the one laughing at the bar, with people who care about me. Don't bother trying to win me back.
I'm done playing games.
-//-
You're a bastard, you know that?
I hate you, more than I've ever hated anyone in my life.
Which is just another reason why I can't forget you.
Your stupid hair, and all that attitude, like you own the fucking world. You don't, and just because you can kick my sorry ass doesn't mean you own it, too. You can't tame me, better men than you have tried. You came close to breaking me, but I wasn't going to let that happen.
I'm a stray dog, not a pet, and I won't be domesticated just because you ask it of me. This is who I am. Too bad that wasn't good enough for you.
Do you even remember the time we spent together, fighting side-by-side? Does that even matter to you? I watched your back, I held you up when you fell. I thought you were doing the same for me. Do you remember the stupid fights? The bonding over bad nicknames and petty squabbles.
Do you remember all the things you told me? About your mother, about your family? You opened up to me, you told me all about your fears and your dreams. Your words touched me, I'm not afraid to admit it. I've always thought you were brave and strong and admirable.
You almost killed me once, remember? And you apologized for it. You cried on my shoulder and told me about your nightmares, about the blood you could see when you closed your eyes. Did I turn you away? Did I make fun of you? No, I stayed, and I helped you forget, and you slept the whole night in my arms and I kept the nightmares at bay for you.
I needed you, and you needed me. So why did you do this to me?
What about the nights we shared, when you would let me touch you, pleasure you? Does it all mean nothing?
Think about it. Think about my hands on you, my mouth, my tongue. I touched you more intimately than anyone else ever had, I saw parts of you that you didn't even know existed. I saw that frown of yours disappear in the wake of bliss, I heard you moan my name and swear you'd never felt that way before.
Was it a lie?
You used to play with my hair, just running your fingers through it. You'd do it whenever we were alone, and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed all the little moments like that, every second we spent together where you could let your guard down and just be you. I treasured those moments. Did you?
If so, then why? Why would you do this to me? Why would you take away everything that makes me, me? Why would you tear me down, and tell me that it was nothing?
"It's been fun." Isn't that what you said? Like everything had been nothing but a game. "But I've got a regular, human life to live, and you won't share that with me."
I would've shared everything with you, I loved you. I fucking loved you, Ichigo.
But I guess it doesn't matter now.
I suppose I'll just have to find someone who won't try to tame me.
Let me know how your human life turns out. I'll be the one laughing at the bar, with people who care about me. Don't bother trying to win me back.
I'm done playing games.