why you should not let your mother attend grad school

[archaeomom8]

I’ve been wondering if I’ve approached my entire life-path widdershins. There are people who would rather phrase it “making bad choices.” Yeah, I know, fuck that. My choices are mine and I don’t regret them on a certain deep level. Where it gets screwed up is in the present with the financial problems that are affecting not only me but also other

Comments

[neowiccan]

i dunno, babes. it's awfully hard to judge 'right choices' from either side, isn't it?
i know what i see of you from this side of my monitor, and it's an amazing woman.....warm, brilliant, flexible, accessible, passionate, funny. if it's a widdershins spiral that got you here, then all praise for widdershins spirals!
khairete
suz

[archaeomom8]

Thanks suz!

It *is* hard to make those judgments. We do what we do and things make sense at the time. Some things work out well, others not quite as well. And I guess there are the mystery-things: we never know exactly how they unwind in the end. Two things come to mind for me, but everyone has these things. My dad used to tell me that if I didn't straighten up (heheh) that I'd end up digging ditches. He seriously wanted me to finish school and maybe teach languages at the state university - for him that was straightening up...I did end up digging. Trenches and test pits and units, not exactly ditches, he never got to see that. And I swore to him I'd never teach. Ironic.

Anyway thanks for the kind words. They are a balm. :)

[normaltrouble]

Women archaeologists, esp pre 1970's probably did have brass cojones filled with naquada.

If I remember my short review of archaeological history, wasn't it a woman who kinda reformed and rehabbed the mens folks bungling of the Zimbabwe ruins?

Those British women archaeologists! They probably started off as ...ooooh... good place to catch a guy who looks like Michael Shanks or Harrison Ford, then they decide somewhere along the line, to hell with that-- let's help reform the field or at least, manage it better!!

As a nonmother, I am amazed you have the energy to do what you've done. And doing.
I am rather lazy however, so guess that's where 50% of my bad choices come from.

Women just want to play in the dirt, too.
Cindi Lauper said that, I think.

[archaeomom8]

Hmm. I'm not sure which archaeologist that would be. I don't know enough about the site, really. There was so much racism in the early days of digging there, was she someone who addressed the prevailing racist attitudes? The whole "Africans couldn't have created this?" attitude?

Since you're on to the British, everyone knows Mary Leakey was the real archaeologist of the famous couple. Louis was good at other things...

Women just want to play in the dirt, too.

I like that. Is it in a song? Or something she said?

[archaeomom8]

And thanks for the nice comment. I think when we're not very together financially, I start to blame myself. It's very counter-productive. It's depressing, in fact. I tend to shut down my usual action-mode. And maybe that's okay. I have to think about that one a bit!

[quadrapop]

I know what you mean about looking back at choices... I often wonder what would have happened if i had used the money lived o for my art hitory degree for a 1-2 year reseach/holiday in Europe instead of being poor in an isolated capital city in Oz... I ended up studying the artists 3rd hand that I could have stood in front of... but thems tha breaks and I dont regret having had that time to grow up (late adolescence here - started at 20 ;-) and what i got our of the study style in Uni - would i have been homeeducating if I hadn't had that expereince? What about if i had actually had that child at 21 rather than terminating?

But we are where we are, and there are many things to be grateful for in the present. In fact studies have shown that those who live "in the present" (as opposed to the past or future) are least likely to suffer from depression and other mental illness... most of those studied have been Buddhist monk mind you ;-) not mums with busy lives and income stress You doin great m'dear - keep on doing what moves your

[archaeomom8]

There ya go. We can't help thinking the what-ifs, sometimes.

Thanks! And I do agree about embracing the present as much as possible. My significant other is much better at living in the now than I am. I'm working on it. When I was at home and doing a bit of work from home plus running the old mini-farm and all the kids were younger - oddly - it was easier to focus on the moment. I think I've done some things so quickly that I haven't caught up with myself yet. I should probably resume sitting meditation. I'm not resolving to do it, but I'm thinking about it. ;)