Time for a poll!

[arch_schatten]

Thanks for your great advice on quitting, flist! I.. m working through it. Mostly in my mind. Urg, I wonder what is it with this.. obstinate, opposed to change, stubborn bull-mind I have. My science heart tells me that horoscopes really make no sense, and then I come off as the most Taurean of all Tauruses and I have to grumble lowly to myself...

Comments

[starsandsea]

Hmmmm... I'm honestly not sure! I think I get more angry if someone insults my family or friends - my continued anger at my uncle and aunt, to the point where I honesty wouldn't care if they were gruesomely murdered, over what they've done to my mum is an example, I think. But I'm not angry at them for basically ignoring my existence all this time... *shrugs* I guess it would kinda depend on how big the insult or threat was. If it was little, I might just let it go, but if it was big then I would get very angry

[arch_schatten]

And honestly, a part of me would probably think that whatever was said true, and that I deserved it - why yes, I am looking at you, Evil Voice of Doom.

Christine also mentioned something like that, and I think both of you are right there -at least where I am concerned. I am a lot more willing to let insult go because often I think I deserve it or that it is true, while I will in no way accept such things about my friends or loved ones, and even in the case that I knew it to be true, I still wouldn't put up with it because more often than not such comments are uncalled for.

I want a world were no one had to find out if we get angrier at the wrongs done to us than those done to our loved ones... but chances are we'll all have to find ourselves in such a situation at some point. I am glad I am growing a thicker skin about confrontations! It seems that the more self assure I grow, the more often I have to fight with someone.. *sigh* I hate it, but I also hate that people treat me like I'm dumb or too young or.. whatever.

[jij]

I think I respond differently to wrongs done to me and people I love. Seeing people I love treated badly is more likely to get a quick flare of sudden anger. I jump into anger much faster for someone else. I'm a lot slower to get angry on my own behalf...but I also think I'm more likely to hold a grudge forever once I do get mad at someone on my own behalf.

So...hot anger is reserved for people who hurt my loved ones, but cold anger for the few people who finally get under my skin. And the very few people in my life who have hurt both me and people I care about, well...you can imagine it's a hot and cold hate that Does Not Die. :)

I do feel vaguely like American men are less likely to jump to the defense of other men, because it could be interpreted as condescending, you know? "They can take care of themselves" I would guess the feeling to be...

[arch_schatten]

Huh! I hadn't thought about the duration of anger... I think I'm a lot more likely to forgive someone who hurt me than someone who hurt my loved ones, mostly because I tend to have to deal with the people that hurt me a lot more, and that tends to rebuild burned bridges... but.. there's also been cases where I have no desire to see those that hurt me ever again and I hold a cold, cold hate

[vespa331]

I do feel vaguely like American men are less likely to jump to the defense of other men
I agree. My boys never defend each other. They'll just keep quiet until someone else brings it up, and then be like "Yeah, she was a bitch eh?". Whereas I'm like KILLHERDEADKILLHERNOOOOW. The guys all tend to shrug things off as "not my problem", but I, and most of the girls I know, have more the Old West mentality of "if it involves my friends or family, it's my problem".

[arch_schatten]

I think I'm with you in that. If the wrong is done to me, it feels easier to forgive because I usually have to keep working/seeing said person, and time kind of mends the fissures. But those that hurt my loved ones don't get the benefit of time or doubt, and those I tend no to forgive...

Thank you for your insight! I've been thinking a lot about this given the current work situation.