(Update) From the inbox of night_owl and librarian
So, I just.. couldn't stop myself from writing this, because I've been itching to write IM conversations between Bruce and Babs for EONS. Ok, maybe months. I cling to Bruce and Babs brotherly/friendly relationship with passion, because Babs is awesome, and Bruce would have to be an idiot (which he isn't) not to notice. And they know each other inside out (not pervy thoughts there!), so flirting/joking/talking has to be a piece of cake.
Which it was. This might be rather out of character, but I had fun writing it. I am also running a fever, so go crackfic! This is not beta'ed...
Fandom: DCU
Pairings: Superman/Batman pre-slash. Mentions of Superman/Lois, Batman/Mr. Terrific, Batman/Jason Blood, Batman/Jason Blood/Oracle, Oracle/Black Canary, Oracle/Huntress, Oracle/Poison Ivy, Oracle/Shiva. And when I say mentions, I mean mentions.
Rating: PG13
Summary: For the ‘spam’ prompt of
worlds_finest. Batman and Oracle write each other weird mail, then have a chat.
Prompt: Spam
Word count: 1926
Warnings: Crackfic
AN: This is all
damo_in_japan’s fault, because we were talking about spam and how it should be the next challenge for WF. And when it comes to technophiliacs online at crazy hours of the night, who was I going to write about if not Bruce and Babs?
Started on September 12 2006 at 12:00 pm
Finished on July 12 2006 at 1:40 pm
From the Inbox of night_owl and librarian
---
From the Inbox of night_owl@delphi.net
Subject: Meet Single Hot Superheroes in Your Area!
From: “We Know What’s Best For You” <“librarian@bouncer.delphi.net”>
Date: Sunday, September 6
Bruce looked at the offending item for a couple of seconds before noticing the ‘from’ address. He allowed himself a small smile, and clicked the message. The budget proposal for the new R&D Wayne Industries projects could wait a couple of minutes.
He had to suppress a laugh after he saw the list his ‘librarian’ friend had compiled. She knew him too well. He opened a new screen and started typing.
---
From the Inbox of librarian@delphi.net
Subject: These Sexy Vigilantes Are Waiting for You!
From: “Obscure Superhero Finder” <“night_owl@bouncer.delphi.net”>
Date: Sunday, September 6
Barbara stared at the message, unbelieving. That Bruce would use 10 minutes -or 20, by the looks of the message, the man had put some effort there- to write a list of people Babs should consider for dating was…
Well, whatever it was, it wasn’t very much like Bruce. In any case, Barbara had to admit he had good taste.
---
::Secure IM session initiated. Log 00824 initiated at 2:46 am Sep 7::
::IDon’tEatRats just logged in::
IDon’tEatRats says: Catman is not a superhero
::Delphi_Fumes changed screen name to NotAnotherRiver::
NotAnotherRiver says: ahh, but he *is* hot
IDon’tEatRats says: lies
NotAnotherRiver says: you decided to pick up the blind bit of the bat physiology or what?
IDon’tEatRats says: ...Catman??
::NotAnotherRiver laughs::
NotAnotherRiver says: I don’t think Poison Ivy is a vigilante
IDon’tEatRats says: …yeah
NotAnotherRiver says: she’s hot, though
IDon’tEatRats says: …yeah
NotAnotherRiver says: you have good taste, B-man
IDon’tEatRats says: I try
IDon’tEatRats says: Superman is not single
IDon’tEatRats says: your spam is misleading
NotAnotherRiver says: Lois is old news, didn’t you know?
NotAnotherRiver says: hop on the clue train
IDon’tEatRats says: wtf
NotAnotherRiver says: she hooked up with the nephew of the Planet’s editor… Richard, I think
NotAnotherRiver says: let me check
NotAnotherRiver says: yeah, Richard White
IDon’tEatRats says: …
IDon’tEatRats says: I sat through a 3 hour bitch session in a JLA meeting because Superman was scorned??
IDon’tEatRats says: I hate everyone
NotAnotherRiver says: lol, poor B
IDon’tEatRats says: you obviously have never attended a 3 hour bitch session in a JLA meeting
IDon’tEatRats says: I deserve more than a ‘poor B’
NotAnotherRiver says: You deserve a Hot Superhero in your Area?
IDon’tEatRats says: hell yes
IDon’tEatRats says: I deserve *at least* 2 hot superheroes
::IDon’tEatRats changed screen name to GraveyardShift::
NotAnotherRiver says: so you eat rats now?
GraveyardShift says: …no
GraveyardShift says: what am I, Ozzy Osbourne?
NotAnotherRiver says: he bit a bat, not a rat
GraveyardShift says: …
GraveyardShift says: I don’t eat rodents. Period.
NotAnotherRiver says: o rly?
GraveyardShift says: rly
::NotAnotherRiver laughs::
GraveyardShift says: when did you hear?
NotAnotherRiver says: what?
GraveyardShift says: about Lois
NotAnotherRiver says: you mean about Superman being single?
NotAnotherRiver says: ooohhh, B! you naughty boy!
::GraveyardShift smirks::
::NotAnotherRiver laughs::
NotAnotherRiver says: last Monday. BC went to Metropolis on a mission, ran into Lois. No Big Blue around, so she asked.
NotAnotherRiver says: Lois got fed up of the fly in, save the day, flirt, fly away thing
::GraveyardShift rolls eyes::
NotAnotherRiver says: it’s a very annoying habit, mind you
GraveyardShift says: Hot Superheroes don’t do domestic
NotAnotherRiver says: yeah, sure. What fantastic, exhilarating thing are you doing, Mr. Hot Superhero?
GraveyardShift says: …eating Alfred’s cookies
NotAnotherRiver says: a-ha!
::NotAnotherRiver does victory dance::
GraveyardShift says: it’s 3 am. I can eat cookies if I want to.
GraveyardShift says: it doesn’t count as domestic if it’s done in the middle of the night in a cave full of bats
NotAnotherRiver says: whatever you say, sweetie
::GraveyardShift shares::
::NotAnotherRiver smiles::
GraveyardShift says: you have good taste too, Barbie doll
NotAnotherRiver says: don’t call me that
NotAnotherRiver says: I’ll kick your ass, you know it
GraveyardShift says: no kicking the goddamn rat eater!
::NotAnotherRiver laughs::
NotAnotherRiver says: where did that came from, anyway?
GraveyardShift says: damned if I know
GraveyardShift says: suddenly there’re articles on me and my bat-shit crazy habits on the papers
NotAnotherRiver says: Object of Study: The Alimentary Rituals of The Batman?
GraveyardShift says: yeah, wtf
NotAnotherRiver says: you know what they say, there’s no such thing as bad press!
GraveyardShift says: …
GraveyardShift says: don’t make me hurt you
NotAnotherRiver says: oohh, papa spank?
::GraveyardShift laughs::
::NotAnotherRiver grins::
NotAnotherRiver says: so you liked my choice Hot Superheroes for you?
GraveyardShift says: there was a bit missing on the T&A department, but yeah. Nice choices.
NotAnotherRiver says: pfeh, you need to get a stable, hot, male partner
NotAnotherRiver says: that is not a Robin
::GraveyardShift cringes::
GraveyardShift says: Robins are not sexual toys!
GraveyardShift says: unless you’re Batgirl. Then it’s okay.
GraveyardShift says: I am not Batgirl, btw
NotAnotherRiver says: I noticed
NotAnotherRiver says: you have a nice ass, but you need the tits to pull off the costume
GraveyardShift says: …ooookay
GraveyardShift says: we shouldn’t be talking about this. I’ll jinx myself and turn into a girl next time I run across a magic user.
NotAnotherRiver says: you would be so cute!!
GraveyardShift says: et tu, Brute
NotAnotherRiver says: lol, I mean it. You would make a hot goth chick, oh yeah
GraveyardShift says: …I’m a little afraid now
::NotAnotherRiver cackles::
NotAnotherRiver says: who’s your favorite?
GraveyardShift says: from the Hot Superheroes in my area?
NotAnotherRiver says: yeah
GraveyardShift says: uhm, hello. My name is B, I don't think we have met
NotAnotherRiver says: so, Superman?
GraveyardShift says: hell yeah
GraveyardShift says: me and the rest of America can’t be wrong
NotAnotherRiver says: can’t you?
::GraveyardShift laughs::
GraveyardShift says: good point. Though, Metropolis is not my area.
NotAnotherRiver says: man, you’re too picky
NotAnotherRiver says: how am I going to pick you a hot superhero in your area if your area is Gotham and you keep all superheroes away from your area?
GraveyardShift says: …
GraveyardShift says: I… don’t know?
NotAnotherRiver says: you just have to do as I say, B. Just love me, fear me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
GraveyardShift says: you would make a great Goblin Queen.
GraveyardShift says: what’s your pick for me then?
::NotAnotherRiver changed screen name to GoblinQueen::
GoblinQueen says: Mr. Terrific
GoblinQueen says: you two are too cute together
GraveyardShift says: hah, I wish!
::GoblinQueen laughs::
GoblinQueen says: you’re a slut, B
GraveyardShift says: I resent that
GoblinQueen says: well, you are
::GraveyardShift scowls::
GoblinQueen says: you should make a move on *someone*
GraveyardShift says: …no
GoblinQueen says: why not?
GraveyardShift says: you know the drill. Complications, attachments, the Mission, blah blah blah
GoblinQueen says: you suck
GraveyardShift says: what else is new
GraveyardShift says: I don’t see you hitting on anyone either
GoblinQueen says: you went ahead and picked Dinah, Helena, Poison Ivy and Shiva for me
GoblinQueen says: tell me which one of those wouldn’t result in trouble?
GraveyardShift says: they are all worth a little trouble
GraveyardShift says: maybe except for Poison Ivy. Don’t go there, please
GoblinQueen says: well, Dinah is with Ollie -sorta- and Helena is with Q
GoblinQueen says: that only leaves Shiva!
GraveyardShift says: my, I never noticed…
::GraveyardShift smiles innocently::
GoblinQueen says: you don’t have one innocent bone left in you, B!
GraveyardShift says: Well, go for Dinah. She’s great.
GoblinQueen says: I’ll tell her you said that
GraveyardShift says: you’re going to ruin my reputation, Babs
GraveyardShift says: add some grunts and a glare to it when you tell her. Maybe it’ll save me some face.
::GoblinQueen laughs::
GoblinQueen says: you’re an ass. Why would you want such a crappy reputation anyway?
GraveyardShift says: I would tell you, but then I would have to kill you
GoblinQueen says: pfeh! You don’t know either!
GraveyardShift says: …it was a good idea at the time?
GraveyardShift says: ah, yeah. Inspire fear in my enemies, etc.
GoblinQueen says: you have had too much coffee
GoblinQueen says: you’re too chatty for your own good
GraveyardShift says: 3 hours bitch session in the JLA meeting, Babs. 3 hours. There's not enough coffee in the world.
::GoblinQueen laughs::
GoblinQueen says: damn the JLA!
GraveyardShift says: I would damn them to hell, but it might happen. I’m sick of magic.
GoblinQueen says: Do you want me to call Jason Blood for you so he can make you all better?
::GoblinQueen wriggles eyebrows::
GraveyardShift says: …
GraveyardShift says: I think I like that idea
GoblinQueen says: slut!
GraveyardShift says: like you would say no to Jase
GoblinQueen says: …are you offering to share?
GraveyardShift says: …would you be interested?
GoblinQueen says: …do you think he’ll be?
GraveyardShift says: …do you want me to ask him?
GoblinQueen says: …
GraveyardShift says: …
::GraveyardShift coughs-awkward-coughs::
::GoblinQueen laughs::
GoblinQueen says: we have to find a way to get you laid, B
::GraveyardShift is going to pretend that didn’t sound like an offer *again*::
GoblinQueen says: I mean it
GoblinQueen says: you and Superman would be *the hotness*
GraveyardShift says: The Hotness sounds better than World’s Finest for sure
GoblinQueen says: I could spam him
GraveyardShift says: …
GoblinQueen says: it might work!
GoblinQueen says: ‘Hot Singles in Your Area: 1. Matches: Batman’
GoblinQueen says: over and over again
GoblinQueen says: until it gets through his thick Kryptonian head
GraveyardShift says: your finesse amazes me, as usual
GoblinQueen says: I could take some nude pictures of you.
GoblinQueen says: ‘Natural Enlargement Method! Information Inside!’
::GraveyardShift laughs::
GraveyardShift says: I don’t think so
GoblinQueen says: ‘Mortage Refinanced: Pre-nuptial with B.W.!’
GraveyardShift says: that’s subtler but scarier
GoblinQueen says: well, when you get pounced by 210 lbs of Man of Steel, you better thank me
GraveyardShift says: …It’s time to go to bed when your ideas start to sound good
GoblinQueen says: it was time to go to bed when we started planning fixing our sex life with spam, B
GraveyardShift says: indeed it was
GoblinQueen says: bedtime for me, then. Night, B.
GraveyardShift says: Night, O. Stay safe.
::GoblinQueen hugs the Big Bad Bat::
::GoblinQueen has disconnected::
::Secure IM session terminated. Log 00824 terminated at 4:10 am Sep 7::
::GraveyardShift has disconnected::
---
From the Inbox of c_kent@dailyplanet.com
Subject: Receive a gothamite boyfriend- we pay and ship!
From: “We Know What’s Best For You <“oracle_delphi@bouncer.delphi.net”>
Date: Tuesday, September 10
This Advertisement is sent by a third party, where you have not consented to receive offers, updates or promotions, but she doesn’t care.
FREE
Gothamite Boyfriend!
Adventurous, well educated, open minded and rich!
CLICK HERE for Details!
This offer is sponsored exclusively by Oracle_Delphi.net and is subject to terms and conditions. See Gotham for complete details. Participation eligibility is restricted to C.K. B.W has not endorsed this promotion, but he is affiliated and connected with Oracle_Delphi. B.W. is his own man and reserves all rights, but should be cornered if any response is wanted. For more information, click the link to receive B.W. private number and ask for a date.
Clark stared at the spam message for a couple of minutes. It was intriguing, to say the least. Was Oracle on drugs? He doubted Bruce would approve of her meddling, let alone her proposal of a deal to date Bruce. Bruce was usually aware of his associates activities, but it was hard to believe he had approved of this.
Did Bruce want to date him? That was… It could be interesting. Clark wondered if Oracle was serious about the free shipment, because he would like to see the package delivered with a bow.
Clark clicked the link.
Which it was. This might be rather out of character, but I had fun writing it. I am also running a fever, so go crackfic! This is not beta'ed...
Fandom: DCU
Pairings: Superman/Batman pre-slash. Mentions of Superman/Lois, Batman/Mr. Terrific, Batman/Jason Blood, Batman/Jason Blood/Oracle, Oracle/Black Canary, Oracle/Huntress, Oracle/Poison Ivy, Oracle/Shiva. And when I say mentions, I mean mentions.
Rating: PG13
Summary: For the ‘spam’ prompt of
worlds_finest. Batman and Oracle write each other weird mail, then have a chat.
Prompt: Spam
Word count: 1926
Warnings: Crackfic
AN: This is all
damo_in_japan’s fault, because we were talking about spam and how it should be the next challenge for WF. And when it comes to technophiliacs online at crazy hours of the night, who was I going to write about if not Bruce and Babs?
Started on September 12 2006 at 12:00 pm
Finished on July 12 2006 at 1:40 pm
From the Inbox of night_owl and librarian
---
From the Inbox of night_owl@delphi.net
Subject: Meet Single Hot Superheroes in Your Area!
From: “We Know What’s Best For You” <“librarian@bouncer.delphi.net”>
Date: Sunday, September 6
Bruce looked at the offending item for a couple of seconds before noticing the ‘from’ address. He allowed himself a small smile, and clicked the message. The budget proposal for the new R&D Wayne Industries projects could wait a couple of minutes.
He had to suppress a laugh after he saw the list his ‘librarian’ friend had compiled. She knew him too well. He opened a new screen and started typing.
---
From the Inbox of librarian@delphi.net
Subject: These Sexy Vigilantes Are Waiting for You!
From: “Obscure Superhero Finder” <“night_owl@bouncer.delphi.net”>
Date: Sunday, September 6
Barbara stared at the message, unbelieving. That Bruce would use 10 minutes -or 20, by the looks of the message, the man had put some effort there- to write a list of people Babs should consider for dating was…
Well, whatever it was, it wasn’t very much like Bruce. In any case, Barbara had to admit he had good taste.
---
::Secure IM session initiated. Log 00824 initiated at 2:46 am Sep 7::
::IDon’tEatRats just logged in::
IDon’tEatRats says: Catman is not a superhero
::Delphi_Fumes changed screen name to NotAnotherRiver::
NotAnotherRiver says: ahh, but he *is* hot
IDon’tEatRats says: lies
NotAnotherRiver says: you decided to pick up the blind bit of the bat physiology or what?
IDon’tEatRats says: ...Catman??
::NotAnotherRiver laughs::
NotAnotherRiver says: I don’t think Poison Ivy is a vigilante
IDon’tEatRats says: …yeah
NotAnotherRiver says: she’s hot, though
IDon’tEatRats says: …yeah
NotAnotherRiver says: you have good taste, B-man
IDon’tEatRats says: I try
IDon’tEatRats says: Superman is not single
IDon’tEatRats says: your spam is misleading
NotAnotherRiver says: Lois is old news, didn’t you know?
NotAnotherRiver says: hop on the clue train
IDon’tEatRats says: wtf
NotAnotherRiver says: she hooked up with the nephew of the Planet’s editor… Richard, I think
NotAnotherRiver says: let me check
NotAnotherRiver says: yeah, Richard White
IDon’tEatRats says: …
IDon’tEatRats says: I sat through a 3 hour bitch session in a JLA meeting because Superman was scorned??
IDon’tEatRats says: I hate everyone
NotAnotherRiver says: lol, poor B
IDon’tEatRats says: you obviously have never attended a 3 hour bitch session in a JLA meeting
IDon’tEatRats says: I deserve more than a ‘poor B’
NotAnotherRiver says: You deserve a Hot Superhero in your Area?
IDon’tEatRats says: hell yes
IDon’tEatRats says: I deserve *at least* 2 hot superheroes
::IDon’tEatRats changed screen name to GraveyardShift::
NotAnotherRiver says: so you eat rats now?
GraveyardShift says: …no
GraveyardShift says: what am I, Ozzy Osbourne?
NotAnotherRiver says: he bit a bat, not a rat
GraveyardShift says: …
GraveyardShift says: I don’t eat rodents. Period.
NotAnotherRiver says: o rly?
GraveyardShift says: rly
::NotAnotherRiver laughs::
GraveyardShift says: when did you hear?
NotAnotherRiver says: what?
GraveyardShift says: about Lois
NotAnotherRiver says: you mean about Superman being single?
NotAnotherRiver says: ooohhh, B! you naughty boy!
::GraveyardShift smirks::
::NotAnotherRiver laughs::
NotAnotherRiver says: last Monday. BC went to Metropolis on a mission, ran into Lois. No Big Blue around, so she asked.
NotAnotherRiver says: Lois got fed up of the fly in, save the day, flirt, fly away thing
::GraveyardShift rolls eyes::
NotAnotherRiver says: it’s a very annoying habit, mind you
GraveyardShift says: Hot Superheroes don’t do domestic
NotAnotherRiver says: yeah, sure. What fantastic, exhilarating thing are you doing, Mr. Hot Superhero?
GraveyardShift says: …eating Alfred’s cookies
NotAnotherRiver says: a-ha!
::NotAnotherRiver does victory dance::
GraveyardShift says: it’s 3 am. I can eat cookies if I want to.
GraveyardShift says: it doesn’t count as domestic if it’s done in the middle of the night in a cave full of bats
NotAnotherRiver says: whatever you say, sweetie
::GraveyardShift shares::
::NotAnotherRiver smiles::
GraveyardShift says: you have good taste too, Barbie doll
NotAnotherRiver says: don’t call me that
NotAnotherRiver says: I’ll kick your ass, you know it
GraveyardShift says: no kicking the goddamn rat eater!
::NotAnotherRiver laughs::
NotAnotherRiver says: where did that came from, anyway?
GraveyardShift says: damned if I know
GraveyardShift says: suddenly there’re articles on me and my bat-shit crazy habits on the papers
NotAnotherRiver says: Object of Study: The Alimentary Rituals of The Batman?
GraveyardShift says: yeah, wtf
NotAnotherRiver says: you know what they say, there’s no such thing as bad press!
GraveyardShift says: …
GraveyardShift says: don’t make me hurt you
NotAnotherRiver says: oohh, papa spank?
::GraveyardShift laughs::
::NotAnotherRiver grins::
NotAnotherRiver says: so you liked my choice Hot Superheroes for you?
GraveyardShift says: there was a bit missing on the T&A department, but yeah. Nice choices.
NotAnotherRiver says: pfeh, you need to get a stable, hot, male partner
NotAnotherRiver says: that is not a Robin
::GraveyardShift cringes::
GraveyardShift says: Robins are not sexual toys!
GraveyardShift says: unless you’re Batgirl. Then it’s okay.
GraveyardShift says: I am not Batgirl, btw
NotAnotherRiver says: I noticed
NotAnotherRiver says: you have a nice ass, but you need the tits to pull off the costume
GraveyardShift says: …ooookay
GraveyardShift says: we shouldn’t be talking about this. I’ll jinx myself and turn into a girl next time I run across a magic user.
NotAnotherRiver says: you would be so cute!!
GraveyardShift says: et tu, Brute
NotAnotherRiver says: lol, I mean it. You would make a hot goth chick, oh yeah
GraveyardShift says: …I’m a little afraid now
::NotAnotherRiver cackles::
NotAnotherRiver says: who’s your favorite?
GraveyardShift says: from the Hot Superheroes in my area?
NotAnotherRiver says: yeah
GraveyardShift says: uhm, hello. My name is B, I don't think we have met
NotAnotherRiver says: so, Superman?
GraveyardShift says: hell yeah
GraveyardShift says: me and the rest of America can’t be wrong
NotAnotherRiver says: can’t you?
::GraveyardShift laughs::
GraveyardShift says: good point. Though, Metropolis is not my area.
NotAnotherRiver says: man, you’re too picky
NotAnotherRiver says: how am I going to pick you a hot superhero in your area if your area is Gotham and you keep all superheroes away from your area?
GraveyardShift says: …
GraveyardShift says: I… don’t know?
NotAnotherRiver says: you just have to do as I say, B. Just love me, fear me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
GraveyardShift says: you would make a great Goblin Queen.
GraveyardShift says: what’s your pick for me then?
::NotAnotherRiver changed screen name to GoblinQueen::
GoblinQueen says: Mr. Terrific
GoblinQueen says: you two are too cute together
GraveyardShift says: hah, I wish!
::GoblinQueen laughs::
GoblinQueen says: you’re a slut, B
GraveyardShift says: I resent that
GoblinQueen says: well, you are
::GraveyardShift scowls::
GoblinQueen says: you should make a move on *someone*
GraveyardShift says: …no
GoblinQueen says: why not?
GraveyardShift says: you know the drill. Complications, attachments, the Mission, blah blah blah
GoblinQueen says: you suck
GraveyardShift says: what else is new
GraveyardShift says: I don’t see you hitting on anyone either
GoblinQueen says: you went ahead and picked Dinah, Helena, Poison Ivy and Shiva for me
GoblinQueen says: tell me which one of those wouldn’t result in trouble?
GraveyardShift says: they are all worth a little trouble
GraveyardShift says: maybe except for Poison Ivy. Don’t go there, please
GoblinQueen says: well, Dinah is with Ollie -sorta- and Helena is with Q
GoblinQueen says: that only leaves Shiva!
GraveyardShift says: my, I never noticed…
::GraveyardShift smiles innocently::
GoblinQueen says: you don’t have one innocent bone left in you, B!
GraveyardShift says: Well, go for Dinah. She’s great.
GoblinQueen says: I’ll tell her you said that
GraveyardShift says: you’re going to ruin my reputation, Babs
GraveyardShift says: add some grunts and a glare to it when you tell her. Maybe it’ll save me some face.
::GoblinQueen laughs::
GoblinQueen says: you’re an ass. Why would you want such a crappy reputation anyway?
GraveyardShift says: I would tell you, but then I would have to kill you
GoblinQueen says: pfeh! You don’t know either!
GraveyardShift says: …it was a good idea at the time?
GraveyardShift says: ah, yeah. Inspire fear in my enemies, etc.
GoblinQueen says: you have had too much coffee
GoblinQueen says: you’re too chatty for your own good
GraveyardShift says: 3 hours bitch session in the JLA meeting, Babs. 3 hours. There's not enough coffee in the world.
::GoblinQueen laughs::
GoblinQueen says: damn the JLA!
GraveyardShift says: I would damn them to hell, but it might happen. I’m sick of magic.
GoblinQueen says: Do you want me to call Jason Blood for you so he can make you all better?
::GoblinQueen wriggles eyebrows::
GraveyardShift says: …
GraveyardShift says: I think I like that idea
GoblinQueen says: slut!
GraveyardShift says: like you would say no to Jase
GoblinQueen says: …are you offering to share?
GraveyardShift says: …would you be interested?
GoblinQueen says: …do you think he’ll be?
GraveyardShift says: …do you want me to ask him?
GoblinQueen says: …
GraveyardShift says: …
::GraveyardShift coughs-awkward-coughs::
::GoblinQueen laughs::
GoblinQueen says: we have to find a way to get you laid, B
::GraveyardShift is going to pretend that didn’t sound like an offer *again*::
GoblinQueen says: I mean it
GoblinQueen says: you and Superman would be *the hotness*
GraveyardShift says: The Hotness sounds better than World’s Finest for sure
GoblinQueen says: I could spam him
GraveyardShift says: …
GoblinQueen says: it might work!
GoblinQueen says: ‘Hot Singles in Your Area: 1. Matches: Batman’
GoblinQueen says: over and over again
GoblinQueen says: until it gets through his thick Kryptonian head
GraveyardShift says: your finesse amazes me, as usual
GoblinQueen says: I could take some nude pictures of you.
GoblinQueen says: ‘Natural Enlargement Method! Information Inside!’
::GraveyardShift laughs::
GraveyardShift says: I don’t think so
GoblinQueen says: ‘Mortage Refinanced: Pre-nuptial with B.W.!’
GraveyardShift says: that’s subtler but scarier
GoblinQueen says: well, when you get pounced by 210 lbs of Man of Steel, you better thank me
GraveyardShift says: …It’s time to go to bed when your ideas start to sound good
GoblinQueen says: it was time to go to bed when we started planning fixing our sex life with spam, B
GraveyardShift says: indeed it was
GoblinQueen says: bedtime for me, then. Night, B.
GraveyardShift says: Night, O. Stay safe.
::GoblinQueen hugs the Big Bad Bat::
::GoblinQueen has disconnected::
::Secure IM session terminated. Log 00824 terminated at 4:10 am Sep 7::
::GraveyardShift has disconnected::
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From the Inbox of c_kent@dailyplanet.com
Subject: Receive a gothamite boyfriend- we pay and ship!
From: “We Know What’s Best For You <“oracle_delphi@bouncer.delphi.net”>
Date: Tuesday, September 10
This Advertisement is sent by a third party, where you have not consented to receive offers, updates or promotions, but she doesn’t care.
FREE
Gothamite Boyfriend!
Adventurous, well educated, open minded and rich!
CLICK HERE for Details!
This offer is sponsored exclusively by Oracle_Delphi.net and is subject to terms and conditions. See Gotham for complete details. Participation eligibility is restricted to C.K. B.W has not endorsed this promotion, but he is affiliated and connected with Oracle_Delphi. B.W. is his own man and reserves all rights, but should be cornered if any response is wanted. For more information, click the link to receive B.W. private number and ask for a date.
Clark stared at the spam message for a couple of minutes. It was intriguing, to say the least. Was Oracle on drugs? He doubted Bruce would approve of her meddling, let alone her proposal of a deal to date Bruce. Bruce was usually aware of his associates activities, but it was hard to believe he had approved of this.
Did Bruce want to date him? That was… It could be interesting. Clark wondered if Oracle was serious about the free shipment, because he would like to see the package delivered with a bow.
Clark clicked the link.