Piss on this weather. For real. Next December, after Christmas, I'm going to smash my head into a wall just hard enough to submerge myself into a three-month coma. I mean, seriously. This isn't snow. It's fucking tundra. Tragic, when you can walk on half a foot of it without cracking the surface. Like Legolas, in Lord of the Rings. Which is.. kinda ( Read more... )

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, my LJ is reborn. A bastard child from the womb of chaos ( Read more... )

So I've noticed that Live Journal is becoming less and less popular with my small but respectable circle of friends. Therefore, I shall take my leave from it permanently. I may post if something cataclysmic happens in my life, but apart from that, this will be the last entry you'll be seeing from yours truly. I may still use the account to comment ( Read more... )

I spent sixty dollars yesterday on the blockbuster success 'Pirates' on DVD. The recipient of 29 separate awards from the AVN ( Read more... )

Sweet motherfucking Christ. A four month hiatus from Live Journal, my most substantial by far. The summer went so quickly, and so much took place, that even now it's a solid blur as opposed to any single defining moment of clarity. As could be expected, my quest to replace the majority of my blood supply with Captain Morgan and cheap vodka was a ( Read more... )

A conversation with my brother whilst working the other day, on who'd I'd place at the top of my list of greatest movie characters of all time spawned this post. Take care to note that all of my choices are not 'hardasses' in the traditional sense of the word, but in my opinion represent the greatest character adaptations to grace the silver screen ( Read more... )

Why do I always feel like it's perfectly okay to eat Chinese food the day after a night of heavy drinking? Because.. fuck that. It's absolutely, and unequivocally not fucking alright ( Read more... )

I just watched Jeff Reed tag-team a horse (sexually) with a wolf, and then proceed to beat the horse to death with his bare hands.

And life has new meaning.

So I haven't updated in like schforteen-hundred years. I've been a busy little son of a bitch. For those of you who don't know, I've cleaned the slate and immersed myself in a new relationship. She completely rocks my world. She drinks vodka with me, helps me piss when I black out, drives me to the strip club, and buys me food. Seriously. I've had ( Read more... )

So, I've been plagued with killer stomachaches as of late. I contributed this to how when I eat, it's usually few and far between the last time I did so, and I eat nothing healthy whatsoever. Healthy food is for faggots, so I avoided such ( Read more... )