This turned into a bit of a ramble, so I made it into a separate post. But I'm still really interested in your answers to the third question
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I chose to wait because I was too overwhelmed senior year to deal with applications, because I had a crisis of confidence and didn't think I would get in, and because I had switched areas of interest recently and wanted to make sure I was really committed to it.
In the meantime, I got a fulltime job not in my field, followed my a fulltime job in my field. It affected my application process in that:
(a) I had enough money to apply to 10 schools (would have been out of the question as an undergrad) (b) I had GREAT research experience (c) I got another absolutely fantastic recommendation
I too worry that I'm "out of the loop" or have gotten dumber--but am trying to look at going back to school as a clean slate/fresh start, intellectually.
Good story, btw :) Am very curious how one ends up janitoring in Antarctica...
Thanks. :) It's encouraging to know there are others out there who have been or are going through something similar. The 'clean slate' seems like a good way to look at it.
Wow, what a story! I am kind of going through a bit of what you went through in your earlier years...being the smart girl, and being recognized for my intelligence and not for who I am per se. I guess my experience of being someone other than "the smart girl" was working in retail management full time for about 4 years while going to school part time (I was completely uninspired by school during that time, and I think I also had a loss of self-confidence)...I got back into school, and pretty much immediately went back to being recognized as "the smart girl" by my peers...which was comforting, and at the same time it was a bit disheartening...I guess I feel that I maybe have something to prove to others (due to my own poor self-esteem, lack of confidence issues). I finally recognize all of this and I'm trying to let it go, but it's not easy.
Best of luck to you, and thanks for sharing your story, it's nice to know I'm not alone with this stuff :)
This reply made me want to hug you. You're right, it's not easy. I'm still working through a lot of stuff, and I often feel like it's a process of "two steps forward, one step back." But the payoffs seem worth it so far. Good luck with yours. :)
Partly because I was burned out. Partly because I wanted to get some more work experience in my field and figure out where my research interests were. Partly because I graduated from college at 21, and subsequently wouldn't be eligible for instate tuition until I was 23, so waiting a year meant that I'd be eligible partway through grad school instead of after I was done.
What did you do in the meantime?
*Scored standardized tests for two weeks (it sucked) *Worked seasonally in my field for two summers *Freelanced sporadically *Spent too much time unemployed
How do you feel like it affected your application process and your subsequent grad school experience?I was way less stressed when I put my application together than I would have been during my senior year of undergrad. I also had a chance to meet my potential advisor in a professional capacity, meet other people in the program, and figure out my research interests (my thesis topic has since changed, but the seed of it I found during my year off
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Yum. Burnout. Sounds like time off gave you some good perspective. Thanks for sharing it. I've come to some of the same conclusions re: the importance of taking care of myself and not working 24/7. (I learned that one the hard way. :P)
I'm especially curious about the clarifying your research interests part, because that's something I've struggled with. There are so many things I find fascinating, I feel I'd be happy to study any of them - but that's made it hard to narrow down and decide where to focus my energy in terms of applying. How did you figure out "THIS is what I'm interested in"? (Even if your topic has changed by now. I know they do that. ;) )
Hmm, that's tricky to explain (especially with my usual policy of vagueness about what I study). So, in my field, people have traditional focused on a group of organisms. I am not so good at that. What I've found IN grad school is that there's a shift towards looking at questions with methods rather than focusing solely on groups. I did not know that when I entered, though I did know that graduate research doesn't lock you into a research path forever
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Hi. I loved this post. You do sound like someone who'd be fun to have a beer with - AND like someone who might one day make a great teacher and colleague. I'm in a PhD program right now (I like to look at this community sometimes because I'm a huge procrastinator and, creepily, like reading other people's SOPs ;) ), and let me tell you, it can be cutthroat and depressing. I've always been unhealthily ambitious, and this destructive streak is only nurtured in grad school. I see people my age (late 20s) who are already bitter and horrible to one another, which is surprising to me - I mean, there's the stereotype of the bitter old academic, but people who are just starting out should still be idealistic and should still believe in shared passion and collegiality, right? It turns out that's not true
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Oh, about your other question, I took a year off during undergrad and lived & worked in another country, but otherwise, I've been in school for 21 straight years. Hehe. Went straight from undergrad to MA to PhD. I do feel very burned out, and there are lots of people older than me who are at my stage, so it would have been fine to wait. But I've always known what I wanted to do, so it seemed pointless to do other things. Now, though, I kind of want to take time off and work as a lifty at a ski resort for a season or two... Grad school is hell, really, and I don't recommend it to anyone who can think of ANYTHING else they might be happy doing.
So much of the research I do at work touches on the way that academics find a healthy balance (or don't) between their lives and their careers - and the disheartening conclusion seems to be that it is very, very difficult to do so. Not impossible. But tough. And it's the ironic consequence of researching populations of which you are, or expect to become, a member that often working with the data feels like looking in a mirror. I get discouraged sometimes, because I don't always like what I see
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I have to say, the professors at the small liberal arts colleges I attended seemed on the whole to be happier, have more in the way of personal lives, and have better relationships with students than many of the professors at the large university I go to now. And many of them had very strong research records, too, despite not having grad students or as much money as large research institutions. I think there's a lot to be said for small universities as work environmentals--for one thing, faculty seem more likely to be consulted and listened to about how the college is run, and teaching is valued more in tenure decisions.
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I chose to wait because I was too overwhelmed senior year to deal with applications, because I had a crisis of confidence and didn't think I would get in, and because I had switched areas of interest recently and wanted to make sure I was really committed to it.
In the meantime, I got a fulltime job not in my field, followed my a fulltime job in my field. It affected my application process in that:
(a) I had enough money to apply to 10 schools (would have been out of the question as an undergrad)
(b) I had GREAT research experience
(c) I got another absolutely fantastic recommendation
I too worry that I'm "out of the loop" or have gotten dumber--but am trying to look at going back to school as a clean slate/fresh start, intellectually.
Good story, btw :) Am very curious how one ends up janitoring in Antarctica...
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BTW: This is how.
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Best of luck to you, and thanks for sharing your story, it's nice to know I'm not alone with this stuff :)
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Partly because I was burned out. Partly because I wanted to get some more work experience in my field and figure out where my research interests were. Partly because I graduated from college at 21, and subsequently wouldn't be eligible for instate tuition until I was 23, so waiting a year meant that I'd be eligible partway through grad school instead of after I was done.
What did you do in the meantime?
*Scored standardized tests for two weeks (it sucked)
*Worked seasonally in my field for two summers
*Freelanced sporadically
*Spent too much time unemployed
How do you feel like it affected your application process and your subsequent grad school experience?I was way less stressed when I put my application together than I would have been during my senior year of undergrad. I also had a chance to meet my potential advisor in a professional capacity, meet other people in the program, and figure out my research interests (my thesis topic has since changed, but the seed of it I found during my year off ( ... )
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I'm especially curious about the clarifying your research interests part, because that's something I've struggled with. There are so many things I find fascinating, I feel I'd be happy to study any of them - but that's made it hard to narrow down and decide where to focus my energy in terms of applying. How did you figure out "THIS is what I'm interested in"? (Even if your topic has changed by now. I know they do that. ;) )
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