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[apiphile]

I cannot begin to describe how bored I am.

Questions from

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[wolfy_writing]

Chopping off my hair was such a good decision. Instead of brushing for hours, I can comb it in seconds!

You definitely look good now. (I initially typoed it as "you look god", and immediately started picturing a religion of Derek-worship.)

Who does Christmas shopping in August? I mean at work we just got the note of "If you're shipping gifts in from the US, please start shopping ASAP, due to the holiday mail delays", but that's because multiple forwarding services shipping things to the actual Congo, not normal behavior for someone who can literally walk into a shop and buy the present they want.

[apiphile]

Meanwhile I basically comb mine about once a week. *cough*

BROPOLLO THANKS YOU.

Yeah but I used to collect Christmas presents for people all year round and I like to feel Organised about it but this time I'm too WILDLY STRESSED ABOUT HOSPITALS.

[wolfy_writing]

Does your hair not go as aggressively upwards as mine tends to?

All offerings must be made in the form of surrealist fiction or Japanese food.

So instead of being weirdly organized, you're going to be normal-person organized? (My rule is that anything before December 20th is totally okay, December 20th- 6 pm December 24th, probably okay, and later than that is make it yourself and hope they find it endearing.)

[apiphile]

You saw my hair, it has had all the free will bleached out of it. It stays where I put it.

YES THANK THIS IS IDEAL

Or I#'ll do the other extreme and totally fail to get anyone anything at all, which is also a regular MO.

[swear_jar]

YOUR BIRTHDAY IS BEFORE XMAS NO XMAS SHOPPING YET oh god you birthday present, uh oh.

[apiphile]

Yes but if I get to my birthday without getting given a surgery date I wouldn't bother with a present because I will entrain myself.