state of the derek
second t shot was accompanied by blood everywhere because opc ampules remain not my friend; i feel immediately better, suggesting that dr l was already right about the testosterone withdrawal in week four of the cycle (ugh); i have resigned myself to the fact that my ass is going to develop an enormous bruise every time. there's a fucking duck egg
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Comments 14
The comic? Is that something we discussed? I want to hear about your comic. (I've been doing a comic on Tumblr, based on having seen other people's work and half-convinced myself that if I jump in and draw things enough, eventually I'll learn how. It is hard!)
If the thoughts you're having as background noise are claiming nothing you want is reasonable, your problems are only excuses, and there are people who survive without food, that's not good.
And yeah - a reason is not an excuse, let alone a justification. If someone's mistreating you for reasons stemming from nasty stuff that happened to them, they're still mistreating you. (I'm guessing a lot of this has to do with you being a real person with the same rights and worth as other people, and this not being information you learned at an early age?)
What size weights are you on?
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Oh yeah I forgot I hadn't talked about that in public. I'm vaguely noodling a simple little comic about a regency-era trans guy who keeps running away from things because the expectations are all wrong - heterosexual marriage (version: he is expected to be a lady), heterosexual shacking up (version: he is a dude but he's living with a lady who knows he's "a woman really" and would like them to be 19th century lesbians together), and so on, until he gets to the goldilocks zone of relationships and lifestyles.
They're not background noise these days - more occasional rather than continual - but that's how my brain do. "fucking kill yourself" and "everyone hates you" are basically my backing track.
I'm guessing a lot of this has to do with you being a real person with the same rights and worth as other people, and this not being information you learned at an early age?i think some of it might be to do with that. you know, that and the weird ( ... )
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Does it help to remind yourself they're incorrect, or is it better to try to tune them out?
So "good enough" is somewhere outside the range of things humans are biologically capable of?
We've got practically the same size weights! Although I mainly just do curls. Any other good exercises you can recommend? (Er, not things that involve standing.)
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the comic sounds super interesting, altho i'm now trying to imagine charlie brown et al in a regency-era story about a trans guy, and the idea coupled to the art style is a little weird. i mean, peanuts is so contemporary and, er, sexless.
very small shiny gold shorts? :D if you have a fine ass, you should show it off.
also! i found a book of selected te lawrence letters, edited by malcolm brown, in my parents' basement. and as i know how you feel about mr lawrence, i figured i'd ask if you wanted it. so, do you want a book of te lawrence's letters?
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Well this is where I OUGHT to lecture you about how being trans is not to do with sex blah blah blah but yeah, there's sex in it as well. I think I just mean the simple lines and faces? I cannot draw well. I need something I can replicate easily.
YES VERY SMALL SHINY GOLD SHORTS ORDERED FROM CHINA AND A T-SHIRT THE SAME COLOUR AS MY MASSIVE RED BOOTS THAT SAYS A RUDE THING ON IT IN GOLD
I actually have the Malcolm Brown edited one already! I am always on the look-out for more angles on the madman in the desert, though, so thank you for thinking of me ;)
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i pulled the book out of a box and thought "why do i have this?" and then "derek might like it" and then "he might already have it". and i was right! anything te lawrence always makes me think of you. te lawrence and bees.
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