(Untitled)

[apiphile]

The problem is that with updating (hopefully) my gender/name details at work (assuming they don't make giant drama out of it, I have actually contacted HR so the first step has been taken), I now have no reason not to make a) the blog post on the blog my parents read, which will require thought and coherency and tact and a lot of links to Resources

Comments

[wolfy_writing]

I can completely see why you don't want to do that. I would be all "It'll be fine on the blog!" except Your Parents, and I have no idea how the therapy group will react.

I don't think any of them will have any ability to make it stop, but I can definitely see (especially from your mom) some unhelpful remarks).

You get to make your own choice on when to go public to which audience. (My ninety-year-old grandfather still thinks I'm going to end up with a nice Catholic boy one day.) Do it when it's worth it to you, because you're not trapped.

I definitely think people categorizing you as a woman contributed to you thinking of yourself as someone who talks too much about your feelings. Also, I get the impression you grew up with adults around who treated almost any amount of you having needs and problems and expressing that as Too Much, Not Again, Do You Ever Stop?

(Also, I totally didn't realize you were still going to the therapy group. Are things less sucky?)

[apiphile]

My parents will, with any luck, not say a damn thing to me. I mean the next time my father's drunk he'll probably send me a snotty email or worse, an Understanding one, but my mother at least has learned that saying anything to me does not actually get her a response.

Do it when it's worth it to you, because you're not trapped.

Thank - I need to get what I've told the medical people I've already done in line with what I HAVE done, though, at some point.

Also, I get the impression you grew up with adults around who treated almost any amount of you having needs and problems and expressing that as Too Much, Not Again, Do You Ever Stop?

It's weird because I had thought I was Listened To a great deal and it's only in hindsight that I've noticed I was only actually getting listened to when I said stuff people wanted me to say. SURPRISE.

(It's still arse, I just go infrequently to show willing and wear mirrored sunglasses all the time so I don't have to make eye contact with anyone. Transparent tactic but works for me).

[wolfy_writing]

Them saying nothing is better than some of the alternatives.

What have you told the medical people you've done?

Yeah, I can see you being listened to on very specific points when it's convenient.

(What would happen if you just quit going? Because I can see sticking with therapy that's unpleasant but potentially helpful like your individual therapist, but if you're getting nothing out of the group, you could probably quit.)

[apiphile]

In order to access treatment you have to be out to your parents and in your workplace, because, idk, trial by fire or something. Anyway, I may have slightly massaged that. HR know now so technically I *am* out in my workplace. My parents... I do not see that they're relevant tbh but THERE WE GO, may as well get the full set. It's not like I haven't tried to tell my mother before and got ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE.

(I would quit, but then they'll ban me from individual sessions as well)

[kat_lair]

No emotional sympathy then but as I have no practical suggestions to give either, I'll just say this: You are heard.

[tsuki_no_bara]

i think wolfy-writing's right - it's totally up to you who you tell and when, and you should do it when you're ready. (if there's someone you're never ready to tell, well, that's a whole other thing.) and i too wonder if it's not worth it to just quit the group therapy, since it doesn't seem to be doing any good.

on the other hand! it also sounds like you are making progress with the practical stuff, and if you see your gp and they did get the report, you can get your blood tests and see the endocrinologist and etc and etc. it sucks to be in limbo, but stuff is happening! slowly, but still.

in totally other news, i finished as simple as hunger and thoroughly enjoyed it, even tho you killed off el alacran AND ferdinand, and it ends in a great place for a sequel. i really liked ferdinand. i really liked hajar, too, and the world was completely fascinating. two thumbs up!

[apiphile]

Much as I'd like to quit group therapy yesterday or several months ago, the programme is group/individual, and if I stop going to group I'll be banned from individual.

FINGERS VERY MUCH CROSSED THAT IT DOES NOT INSTEAD TURN INTO ANOTHER DELAY altho I do have a contact who has a contact for ~illegally acquiring~ more of the class C controlled substance I am merrily slathering on my belly twice a week...

I have given thought now and then to a sequel. There's a lot of stuff that needs looking at in that world (naturally of course I also have about 18 years-worth of book ideas shored up against me ever having the time to write them...)