Comments | apiphile: my medication of choice will give you skin cancer

apiphile

my medication of choice will give you skin cancer

Jun 09, 2012 18:29

Editing: 3/3 of penultimate lump.
Writing: 40k. Had a small tantrum about it being difficult this morning, but have crossed another plot hump and get to write something other than endless boning for a bit. Strong desire to just write endless detailed descriptions of people slaughtering helpless things in order to combat paralysing rage, but that ( Read more... )

writers are the opposite of people, films, writing, editing, whinge, ramble

Comments 4

formanymiles June 9 2012, 18:31:38 UTC

apiphile June 9 2012, 18:38:46 UTC

And then he FREAKS OUT on Semyon, who he is terrified of, because Kolya has been hurt and he knows that it must be Semyon's fault somehow and he also feels guilty and he's terrified that he's lost THIS ONE GOOD THING he has.

AND THEN THE ENDING. AT WHICH I HAVE SERIOUS FEELS. Because look at Kolya, who is talking to Kirill almost like he would talk to the baby. He knows he's damaged, and he knows there is a little more good in him than there is in the old monster, if you can get to it. All that kindness, all that care - because he knows how to work Kirill, but because he pities him, too.

formanymiles June 9 2012, 18:57:57 UTC

apiphile June 9 2012, 19:17:06 UTC

Exactly, and in almost every scene he practically snivels to his "papa", he attempts diplomacy, he doesn't push his luck because he doesn't want to be hit again. It's like the amount of loyalty and affection and I guess subtle guidance that Kolya shows him is enough to give him sufficient backbone, then, that when he loses his one person, he has the balls to be angry to Semyon's face. "Someone I know" except, of course, baby, you don't know him at all. :( He' s come to destroy you, sooner or later.

but when he's crying over the water about the baby - "she's just a little fucking devotchka, papa" - I realized that maybe he actually wouldn't have done it.Yeah I think he has perhaps also been learning, subconsciously at least, from being around Kolya, that we do not do things like that. When he is in the horrible miserable brothel, he is trying to pull Kolya into behaving towards women the way he has seen that everyone else does: you own women ("What gives the police the right to come and take our women?"), you hurt them, and you own ( ... )