[fic] OH LOOK IT'S MY ID

[apiphile]

Title: The Spy Who Gave As Good As He Got (Or Worse)
Fandom: TTSS (film)
Words: 8,225
Pairing: Tarr/Guillam
Warnings: WOUNDFUCKING.
Disclaimer: Characters etc are the intellectual property of John LeCarré, I’m just getting my Id on them.
Notes/Summary: Sequel to “The Spy Who Got What He Deserved, If Not What He Wanted”. This is almost entirely just

Comments

[swear_jar]

THIS IS HOT AND I FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT A LITTLE.

I feel... things about Ricki and the way he uses his body as a bargaining chip here, and also things about Peter and his being full of denial. They are both somewhat. Fucked.

But though.

Woundfucking.

*APPLAUSE*

[apiphile]

Ahahah you feel bad about it a little? I WROTE THIS ATROCITY.

Ricki and the way he uses his body as a bargaining chip here

Popular theme in my crap, boo hoo issues.

[jumpthesnark]

I LOVE THIS and I LOVE YOU.

[formanymiles]

[apiphile]

God I had so much conflict over which icon to use.

I do know what you mean, though. Like Billy has presumably uncovered this part of himself partly through reading about Freud in his perpetual struggle to be a step ahead, and also through self-examination he's continued as a result of Rivers; but Peter would regard all of this as stuff and nonsense. He doesn't self-examine in part because he doesn't want to know what's down there, so in consequence he denies the fact that he has any sadistic urges. "It's bad enough that I'm a homosexual" etc.

THIS WAS REALLY GOOD. I FEEL WEIRD. GOOD JOB.

VICTORY IS MINE. AMOR VINICIT.

[formanymiles]

[apiphile]

because maybe spending that much time trying to sort out his inner desires would make them more obvious to others, which is hugely dangerous to his job.

The last thing he needs is to give anyone a handhold on how to break him apart. his weaknesses mustn't be so exploitable. The irony being, of course, that the more he denies them the easier it is to use them to exploit him.

I dun you a thing of Luther punching Ripley square in the solar plexus and then ruffling his hair, because he's a good dog.

*MUFFLED SHRIEK*

WANT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT HERE JUST - THAT, THIS - HELLO. NRGHHHHTBHSIODVHUIACA.

[charlidos]

Oh, poor, poor Ricki and his never-healing wounds! After last time, surely he was aware how Peter would 'treat' it?
And wow, Peter has some serious anger-issues, doesn't he? He's not quite as in control as he thinks he is, I believe.
Seems to me they're both obsessing a bit with each other - even if Peter would probably punch me in the nose for even thinking that.

Anyway, love it to pieces. It's completely mesmerizing, even as Peter is being unnecessarily cruel. As I've said before, I love the detail in your writing, it makes me want to read every word, very carefully. Each one seems to matter. I also love how deeply subjective these stories are, Peter is not necessarily the most reliable source of info, is he? Brilliant!

I would love to see what happens when they meet and there are no (physical) wounds for Peter to prod... :)

[apiphile]

Peter's suppressing sadness with anger; he misses Richard more than he wants to let on, and being angry with Ricki is easier than admitting that he wants his boyfriend back.

He's not quite as in control as he thinks he is, I believe.

AHAHAH GOD NO.

Seems to me they're both obsessing a bit with each other

Yup. Ricki could have gone somewhere else, but he chose Peter; Peter could have thrown him out but instead he started back down the road to fucking him again.

I would love to see what happens when they meet and there are no (physical) wounds for Peter to prod...

O_O Oh god he'd have to MAKE some. That would be terrifying for him. and for Ricki. But also AWESOME. Muahahahha. PLOT BUNNY.