Contra to expectations, buttsex is NOT all.

May 07, 2008 06:42

Delirium Des Anges: All fic ever runs blowjob > fingering > buttsecks > orgasm ( Read more... )

greatest hits, slash, buttsex, disdain, writing, fandom, fic

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Comments 34

cribbins May 7 2008, 07:59:28 UTC
And oh, mutual handjobs. Especially all those people writing Harry Potter fanfic. This sentence actually made me go HURRAH, seeing as I have written Harry Potter handjob fic. PERHAPS I AM NOT NORMAL.

Although looking back on it they weren't very teenagery. Blast. I'll have to go back and put in references to them picking their own spots or something.

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apiphile May 7 2008, 17:15:26 UTC
As have I! In fact the majority if not all of the HP slash I've written has been all about the five-knuckle shuffle. It may have been drastically influenced by Shoebox.

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black_bubble May 7 2008, 08:02:39 UTC
I'm half-asleep and almost certainly going to regret this tmi in the morning, but if I can scissor my fingers in my own ass, then character a can damn well scissor his fingers in character b's ass.

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wheeler May 7 2008, 09:49:08 UTC
Yeah, the scissoring thing is odd. I don't know how it became so pervasive in fic, but it really has become the default description for digital penetration as a prelude to anal intercourse, and now there's a backlash against it that says it's de facto wrong. It's not wrong; it is possible to fractionally separate your fingers in those circumstances (but not furiously so, like you're cutting paper). But it's also a bit pointless. The point of digital penetration is really to get the fuckee relaxed and in the mood, not to make the hole 'bigger'. The hole doesn't get stretchier because you've warmed it up like silly putty. The muscles need to be relaxed, and preferably lubricated to ease the strain. What confuses me is that characters in fic rarely seem to use relaxants. Where's the nitrate? But then I suppose that's because characters in fic are circumstantially gay rather than culturally gay ( ... )

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apiphile May 7 2008, 17:38:06 UTC
Where's the nitrate? But then I suppose that's because characters in fic are circumstantially gay rather than culturally gay.

I think that bothers me a good deal - in fics where the character is prepared enough to be armed with KY and condoms he can bloody well have some poppers too.

The question then is whether slash is porn or story

Ah, I generally read for story. Popcorn romance story, but story none the less.

But I don't really know what slash is for

Women, mostly. Think of it as kicking sideways.

I worry that the people writing these stories want to have their cake and eat it - on the one hand they want to glamorise or romanticise these stories. On the other hand they don't want to have to deal with the implications.

Which is strange, because you can magic away the implications quite easily with two words: "it's fiction".

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apiphile May 7 2008, 17:14:25 UTC
When I saw the text of this comment I thought of two other people who might have made it, and both of *them* I might have made the flippant remark about overuse to. All I can say with any confidence is that of the two chaps I've fisted, in neither case was it a particularly easy experience. Scissoring would simply not have been an option.

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basingstoke May 7 2008, 12:07:50 UTC
My dear good friend agrees with you on the buttsex.

So I'm sure I'm as guilty as anyone else, but having her baleful eye on me all the time keeps me a little more creative.

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apiphile May 7 2008, 17:08:18 UTC
I'm guilty too, and I think everyone needs someone looking over their shoulder, at the very least metaphorically.

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anne_jumps May 7 2008, 13:02:40 UTC
I RP plenty of blowjobs and handjobs; my boys are quite fond of them :)
When I read things like this from you, though, I must say I'm glad I keep those journals locked down, because this stuff makes me quite self-conscious.

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apiphile May 7 2008, 17:20:04 UTC
I imagine if I'd remained focussed on my heteronormativity in fanfic rant it'd have upset Hellions a fair bit too, but I got sidetracked by whether or not experience of characters as people vs as plot facets is a gendered thing, and now I'm too sweaty to care about either.

Broadly speaking, I apologise, as I do remember that conversation about "what does one do after the hand-job? One LICKS IT OFF". That was good.

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anne_jumps May 7 2008, 21:42:56 UTC
...LJ never sent me this comment.

Anyway, yes, licking. x__o
There should be MORE licking, actually.

And now I've forgotten what I was going to say.

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apiphile May 8 2008, 06:16:24 UTC
Gosh doesn't there just.

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black_bubble May 7 2008, 17:36:21 UTC
*facepalm* Okay, I kind of hate myself a little for that last one. NO MORE POSTING HALF-ASLEEP FOR ME. I would edit if someone hadn't commented on it ( ... )

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apiphile May 7 2008, 17:47:10 UTC
But in any happy-healthy-adorable-bunnies-and-cuddles relationship, it's only considered polite to suck before you fuck.

I dunno, sucking after you fuck is just as well, surely? And the wonderful world of the reach-around. I speak in the memory of the thankfully departed ex-boyfriend's masturbationary habits, which mostly consisted of "FIRST THE DILDO. GIMME THE DILDO". *cough* My excuse for this comment is "I'm drunk".

It's trite, but it stands to reason, because 98% of the time in consensual fic-sex you actually do care at least a little about the other person's enjoyment, so you're not going to jump right into sticking things into their orifices.

... sticking things into your orifice is not enjoyable?

What I'd love to see more of is masturbating while watching someone else masturbate

Mutual masturbation really does not get enough love. Nor do reciprocal handjobs, hummers, rimming, or about 90% of my kink list. :S

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black_bubble May 7 2008, 18:57:56 UTC
Well, first, you must attain the mindset. That is, a fifteen-year-old girl, who believes that anal action is uncomfortable until you get to the prostate. In happy-fluffy-bunnies, you suck first, which is pleasurable, before inflicting discomfort. You technically could get the discomfort out of the way first, but in this modern plush and spoiled generation we don't like ANY discomfort, so if we must have it we want pleasure beforehand to take our minds off it.

Sticking things into my orifices is enjoyable! But then, I'm a dirty little slut who can't even get wet without penetration. I'm aware that not everyone is the same as me. Again, fifteen year old girl, intrusion is bad, m'kay?

If I wrote fic more, I'd ask for your kink list and work my way through it.

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apiphile May 7 2008, 19:01:34 UTC
*G* I think I've posted the list a few times in the past. Mostly it consists of "things everyone else is frightened by".

But then, I'm a dirty little slut who can't even get wet without penetration.

Heavens, lesbianism can't really work out too well for you. D: I shall refrain from sharing in a public post, but -- eh, all grist for the future mill, I suppose.

In happy-fluffy-bunnies, you suck first, which is pleasurable, before inflicting discomfort.

I fail SO BADLY at happy-fluffy-bunnies.

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