Adventures With Dad Part 2

[aome]

My plane arrived back from the west coast just before 2a EST this morning, which meant I didn't get into bed until 3:30a and even then it took me awhile to settle down enough to sleep. I hauled myself up a little after 10a and that, plus a nap, plus jetlag, means I shouldn't have any trouble seeing the New Year in. Happy New Year to all my

Comments

[meathiel]

All considered your dad seems to be doing fairly well. I just hope it works out with a support worker like the doc suggested.
Must be hard to be so far away, though. It's not as if you can just pop over when something goes wrong ... *sigh*

[spiffikins]

First off - BRRR! Your dad must have the constitution of an ox, to not want heat at those temperatures!

I wonder if it would work to have Becca buy more food each week - but only bring over part of it, every few days, rather than once a week? It's more work for her to bring groceries over multiple times a week, but if he's over at the neighbor's looking for food at least she'd HAVE some for him?

It's encouraging that the doctor felt you could access home health resources without automatically having them declare him incompetent/his living conditions unfit - hopefully you are able to find some resources there!

It must be so confusing for your dad to keep encountering "new things" in his world - chicken! and then later, chicken?!? And LOL at him not remembering Becca by name - it sounds like she would make an *impression* :)

Big hugs to you - this is a tough time and you're doing a hard thing. Hopefully while you are home, you can reach out to some of the resources in the booklet by phone and see what kind of options there are.

[aome]

I did think to suggest that Becca only bring over part of the groceries, every few days, but if he were to eat through his allotment in that time, he would - again - freak out at not having any food.

And, yeah, you'd think he'd remember Becca with all the piercings and such (also, she's hilarious), but when he first met her, she was still a kid, and the grown-up version hasn't made a long-term memory imprint. I've suggested to Becca that she print out a selfie I can post somewhere in his house. Look - this is Becca! Remember her??

[piperki]

This would make a great movie. A thing I have also said about my own life. But one does not necessarily want to live a great movie.

[aome]

The question is: does this movie have a happy ending?

How'd you get through the post-Christmas/New Year's period? LVN making *any* better life choices yet?

[hamsterwoman]

Big hugs. It sounds like the doctor could be a good advocate for your father, and Becca sounds great, too. I hope you can figure out the best path forward with their help.

[aome]

Me, too. Because while my father doesn't really need HELP, per se, right now I feel like he needs a babysitter - someone to constantly supervise him and keep him from wandering into trouble. :-P

Unrelated note: I put "Cry Fox" in the mail back to you this morning. Should be there by the end of the week.

[thesmallhobbit]

You have all my sympathy. It really isn't easy. I'm so grateful my mother is in residential care, where I know she's safe, fed, given her meds etc. And I'm also grateful I didn't have to make the decision, because she'd had a fall and been admitted into hospital, and from there went to a home for a week because she was nervous about returning to her own property and was able to agree she was better staying there. Had it not been for the fall which led to her hospital admission I might have been facing similar problems (although at least she kept the place warm).

[aome]

Yeah, it doesn't help that my father is a stubborn cuss who values his independence just as much as he values a no-waste lifestyle. And he is cognitively fine aside from the short-term memory issues. So I can't exactly haul him out of his house without his permission - he definitely is still mentally competent in that regard. So, for now, he stays put, but I do wonder how much a home health visitor will be able to do to keep him from making poor life choices simply because he doesn't remember he's not supposed to raid the neighbour's trash, or that he's supposed to make sure his groceries last until such-and-so day. It's not like said aide can be there 24/7 (they'd freeze!) nor would my father appreciate being "babysat." :P

I'm glad your mum is safe and that she realized it was the right choice.