rope: 1; knife: 7; necklace: 3; safety pin: 4; broken cd: 1; pills: 2; soda tab: 2; my nails: 9; glass: 2; broken mirror: 1; paper cutter: 1; stud: 1

i bet you can't guess what i tried to do with all this shit... and the total is... 34, i think.

i brought this on myself so i guess i can't really complain about anything bad that happens to me. but i can cuss about it. i could never ever say how i feel around people becuz they would hate me forever. so i'm sorry if i lie to your face.

so today in french right before class started i freaked. i was shaking and i couldn't stop, i started to cry and omg, i was a different person, i couldn't talk and i ran away from my friends and i was under a table crying. i haven't sat under a table since like 2nd grade. omg i could not stop until i dunno, i don't remeber too much from that but, G ( Read more... )

and i couldn't see it was my fault, i hurt them and i know i did, they are hurting because of me, then again i feel like i'm not worth enough to hurt someone. it makes us sad and i'm hurting both sides of my life, and i could cry becuse it hit me so fast. i now understand but i can't say how soeone else feels but i can see it even if they don't see ( Read more... )

i hate this, i can't even think of who to tell. i want to tell someone soooo bad. anyone, well nevermind i just to want scream.... signed, sincerely me...

( Read more... )

[ Current Clothes ] black shirt jeans
[ Current Mood ] bored

[ Current Music ] The Kids Aren't Alright by The Offspring 
[ Current Taste ] nothing

[ Current Hair] just pulled back
[ Current Annoyance] i have to pee really bad

[ Current Smell ] nothing... i'm sick and i can't breathe
[ Current thing I ought to be doing ] peeing
[ Current Favorite ( Read more... )

aaahhh, omg i'm fucking pissed. i wrote a really long entry and i don't know where it went. omg grrr, i wrote so freaking much and it just went away... shit!!! aaaaahhh.... fucking shit!!! whatever,


( Read more... )

i'm sick once again.i went home early. i had some pills, talked to zach for a couple seconds, talked to my cuzzie. took some more pills. whatever. i really feel awful. that damn medicine better start working cuz i am soooo blehhh. i dunno. i have a secret, big bad one, uh oh. i hafta tell savannah. possibly zach. i needa talk to him badly. much ( Read more... )

yeah im still grounded until tuesday. im not really sher if im even supposed to be on the comp but no one is home so i don't care. so since January 12 there has been alot going on. me and savannah had a semi- guy free day, then it just turned into a "i hate josh day" then i cried alot and i cut a Z in my leg for zach i think it will scar very ( Read more... )