Dwarves (Oh, and Elves, too)
A few months ago I wrote a short entry about what I would've cut from Eldest if I had been the editor. I'm currently working on a longer and more detailed list (with the precise number of chapters and pages), but until then, here's one of the things I would've removed from the book:
Eragon's journey to Ellesmera.
I remember reading an interview with Paolini, Pullman, and Pierce on Paolini's website. About a quarter of the way through, Christopher said:
"...as far as I can tell, my first novel was a way to explore the standard fantasy traditions that I enjoyed reading so much...My second book and third book, as I see it, are opportunities to expand upon the original archetypes and try to bring a depth to the world that I haven't seen done or in ways that I want to explore personally...For instance, Eragon is traveling with dwarves for a while. I've never seen their culture explored too deeply in fantasy, and I wanted to make them very real. So he's learning about their religion and their customs and their world - I did a large amount of research."
Research. Right. I don't know where Paolini got the idea for the Dwarf religion, but whether it's original or stolen, it resembles Tolkien's histories in The Silmarillion way too much, bordering on blatent theft. I haven't even read The Silmarillion, but with ten minutes on Wikipedia, I think I got most of it. Paolini was just as capable of doing the same.
And while it's nice to see Dwarf culture, it doesn't add much to the story either. If nothing else. it just give Paolini an excuse to say, "Look! I invented another language!" and pepper us with Dwarfish words. I never listened to the audiobook or had a chance to hear Paolini demonstrate the language, so I don't give a shit about it. The occasional Dwarfish curse word or phrase I wouldn't mind, but suddenly we get a whole paragraph (with translation in the back) of a Dwarf yelling at Orik. What the hell? Eldest is told in limited third-person POV--in this case, Eragon's--and Eragon doesn't speak or understand Dwarfish. The Dwarf's words are not translated for him and he doesn't know what was said. So why should we? Why should we know, at all, what the Dwarves say? Why is it spelled out? To Eragon, and therefore to us, Dwarfish should be gutteral and unintelligable. And yet Paolini mentioned, in one of his old newsletters, that he actually had to cut several paragraphs of Dwarfish to give the audiobook reader a break. Several paragraphs of Dwarfish? Gah. Should've cut it completely.
And that's what I would've done, cut the journey completely. Instead, I would've revised the book so that Eragon and Arya fly straight to Du Weldenvarden--maybe even straight to Ellesmera--on Saphira. Heck, I'll even make this fun for Paolini: Eragon + Arya + close quarters = some romantic and/or sexual tension. And we know how much Paolini enjoys those kinds of situations.
Of course, the only way to cut that journey and let Eragon and Arya fly to Ellesmera would've been to remove some dead weight: Orik the dwarf. Honestly, he's a useless character anyway, so it wouldn't be a big deal; Orik was ignored by Eragon and the Elves for much of the story, and only showed up once in a while to provide comic relief. Would his absense be a horrible loss?
I'm rambling way too much here. What I really want to know is, where did Paolini go wrong? Was it failing to create an original Dwarven culture and history and merely making them Tolkien-esque (the same for the Elves), or was it his decision to use Dwarves (and Elves) in his fantasy in the first place?
I know that other writers are just as guilty, but I have to wonder what you guys all think. Is it ok to use already-established races in your fantasy, like Elves and Dwarves and others, as long as you don't steal them from the pages of LOTR, or is it better to just create new races? Thing is, I like Elves and Dwarves and I want to use them in my stories, and I'm trying to give them an original culture and background. Without giving too much away, I'm trying to create a fantasy world that conforms to the Jared Diamond's theories in Guns, Germs, and Steel. For example, in my story the Elves were separated from humans for several thousand years, and when the two races met again, the effect was like the Conquistadors arriving in the new world. New diseases! Plague and smallpox and the common cold, and the only Elves who survive are the youngest. Basically, it's my way of avoiding the question "Are Elves immortal?" I hate immortal races. Just read Eldest and see what long life does to 'em.
Rambling again. Argh. Sorry. It's especially bad because my entire entry can be summed up in a question: What do you think of Elves and Dwarves and others?
[EDIT: And now I'm feeling bashful because silverfirexz already asked this a month ago. In one sentence. Sorry sorry.]
Eragon's journey to Ellesmera.
I remember reading an interview with Paolini, Pullman, and Pierce on Paolini's website. About a quarter of the way through, Christopher said:
"...as far as I can tell, my first novel was a way to explore the standard fantasy traditions that I enjoyed reading so much...My second book and third book, as I see it, are opportunities to expand upon the original archetypes and try to bring a depth to the world that I haven't seen done or in ways that I want to explore personally...For instance, Eragon is traveling with dwarves for a while. I've never seen their culture explored too deeply in fantasy, and I wanted to make them very real. So he's learning about their religion and their customs and their world - I did a large amount of research."
Research. Right. I don't know where Paolini got the idea for the Dwarf religion, but whether it's original or stolen, it resembles Tolkien's histories in The Silmarillion way too much, bordering on blatent theft. I haven't even read The Silmarillion, but with ten minutes on Wikipedia, I think I got most of it. Paolini was just as capable of doing the same.
And while it's nice to see Dwarf culture, it doesn't add much to the story either. If nothing else. it just give Paolini an excuse to say, "Look! I invented another language!" and pepper us with Dwarfish words. I never listened to the audiobook or had a chance to hear Paolini demonstrate the language, so I don't give a shit about it. The occasional Dwarfish curse word or phrase I wouldn't mind, but suddenly we get a whole paragraph (with translation in the back) of a Dwarf yelling at Orik. What the hell? Eldest is told in limited third-person POV--in this case, Eragon's--and Eragon doesn't speak or understand Dwarfish. The Dwarf's words are not translated for him and he doesn't know what was said. So why should we? Why should we know, at all, what the Dwarves say? Why is it spelled out? To Eragon, and therefore to us, Dwarfish should be gutteral and unintelligable. And yet Paolini mentioned, in one of his old newsletters, that he actually had to cut several paragraphs of Dwarfish to give the audiobook reader a break. Several paragraphs of Dwarfish? Gah. Should've cut it completely.
And that's what I would've done, cut the journey completely. Instead, I would've revised the book so that Eragon and Arya fly straight to Du Weldenvarden--maybe even straight to Ellesmera--on Saphira. Heck, I'll even make this fun for Paolini: Eragon + Arya + close quarters = some romantic and/or sexual tension. And we know how much Paolini enjoys those kinds of situations.
Of course, the only way to cut that journey and let Eragon and Arya fly to Ellesmera would've been to remove some dead weight: Orik the dwarf. Honestly, he's a useless character anyway, so it wouldn't be a big deal; Orik was ignored by Eragon and the Elves for much of the story, and only showed up once in a while to provide comic relief. Would his absense be a horrible loss?
I'm rambling way too much here. What I really want to know is, where did Paolini go wrong? Was it failing to create an original Dwarven culture and history and merely making them Tolkien-esque (the same for the Elves), or was it his decision to use Dwarves (and Elves) in his fantasy in the first place?
I know that other writers are just as guilty, but I have to wonder what you guys all think. Is it ok to use already-established races in your fantasy, like Elves and Dwarves and others, as long as you don't steal them from the pages of LOTR, or is it better to just create new races? Thing is, I like Elves and Dwarves and I want to use them in my stories, and I'm trying to give them an original culture and background. Without giving too much away, I'm trying to create a fantasy world that conforms to the Jared Diamond's theories in Guns, Germs, and Steel. For example, in my story the Elves were separated from humans for several thousand years, and when the two races met again, the effect was like the Conquistadors arriving in the new world. New diseases! Plague and smallpox and the common cold, and the only Elves who survive are the youngest. Basically, it's my way of avoiding the question "Are Elves immortal?" I hate immortal races. Just read Eldest and see what long life does to 'em.
Rambling again. Argh. Sorry. It's especially bad because my entire entry can be summed up in a question: What do you think of Elves and Dwarves and others?
[EDIT: And now I'm feeling bashful because silverfirexz already asked this a month ago. In one sentence. Sorry sorry.]