(Untitled)

[antiqrule1]

I'll just spill the reasons I am a complete idiot:

1. I've been talking to John. All of a sudden, after we were going to have a serious talk and didn't get to (because he ran out of time at work), I feel like he's been ignoring or snubbing me. Maybe he was just on a date or being John. I don't know. The thing is, I shouldn't be trying to have a

Comments

[quinnthevixen]

Yeah, I think it'd be wise to keep your distance from both of them. And maybe try to identify what it is that compels you to contact them if/when you know it probably won't turn out the way you want it to. If it's loneliness, you could try identifying other, healthier relationships to fall back on. If it's a self-confidence thing, find ways to internally boost self-confidence so you don't have to keep returning to the same well (clearly they're both likely to have the opposite effect on self-confidence in the long run. At least I think so.) If you don't want to lose them as friends or feel obligated to communicate with them, try determining why you feel that way so you can try to work on that. You definitely don't owe either of those guys any niceties! Sorry if I'm misreading this, but if I can be frank, I think getting j touch with either of these guys could be bad news for you in the long run, and given how much you have to deal with already during your transition and move, this could just be one more stressor.

[antiqrule1]

I think you're right. I think when I feel insecure, I go to sources that I once made me feel loved. I keep thinking about John and how he once loved me, and I'm so bereft without that feeling at times. I feel so empty and so insecure right now that all I want is to feel loved. I feel like a child and I want to be comforted. I think it's bad news to be in touch with them, too. They don't even do anything positive for me anymore when I do talk to them. It's just more pain. I wish I had a healthier relationship to fall back on, or a way to boost my self-esteem right now. I'm out of ideas.

[antiqrule1]

That's actually the first thing I thought of when I thought of Harlem. I've wanted to go to the Apollo since I first heard about Billie Holiday. Not a huge fan of being called out for being white, though...