I suppose my romantic tendencies are in fact a product of my imaginative fairy tale which i would love to believe is reality, isn't it funny as you grow up in your boyish innocence, the harshness of reality seems to grate you, corrodes your values as the worlds powerful waves crash against your morals and values, Submission. Sometimes I wonder, if ( Read more... )

Ok it's time for a sort of happy entry, maybe more like reflective. It's so amazing looking up at the night sky, looking out on the most amazing view of the universe anywhere you can, seeing the cosmos but in no way fully comprehending the vasteness of it. it's amazing to think how far the stretches of our universe go and to think god who is all ( Read more... )

OMG i sicken myself my inability to cope with life and its harsh realties when othere realties are much harsher who am i to throw a pity party for my pathetic existence people move on i'll live i'll die sending no ripple through anothers life why bother? why not turn into a face in a crowd of sinners i'm selfish arrogant and i'm disgusting sick ( Read more... )

"help me have faith" a qoute from ayla I pray to never forget I need to be strong for us both

Wow i never expected things to be this way I never expected things to be this hard, life is taking it's tole on my spirit I feel crushed and dazed from my own insufficient ability to do the tasks I must. I'm sorry for my weakness I'm sorry for my selsfishness I feel an unascapably crushing pain and responsibility to serve others happiness while I ( Read more... )

Isn't it ironic that I feel so alone in a world full of commotion and confusion.... I know there are people there, but no one is really THERE like she was. No one cared like she did. to have that takin from my life makes living hurt. every time I think of her I think of her growing colder towards me, and I see it. Her love for me dimming like a ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wonder how long I'll be needed here why do i have to stay on this earth, I'm tired of it :-( I'm tired of the filth the lying and hurt I'm tired of the filth of my body and of myself... i yearn for death even though i cannot do it myself It's so hard to cope no one is here for me and the only person that wuz i have forced to lose her ( Read more... )

It's so hard for me to tell her i can't be with her. It hurts to hear her cry but hurts even more to hear her drift away I can't stand the thought of her not caring for me. but i can't expect her to wait for me forever i can't ask her that. Geez i love her i never thought not being with someone can be so hard i need something to take my mind away ( Read more... )

I can't see the future if I could I don't know if I would want to. I'm afraid of who I might become I'm afraid 2 make the wrong decisions, 2 take me down the path I ever wanted to tread I'm afraid of my own weakness I don't know what the cure is for regret, for doubt, or sorrow I don't have the antidote maybe no one is suppose to, maybe it's just ( Read more... )

:-( I'm home watching my little brother and I guess I'm gunna be alone for valentines. well i have no room for complaning alot of people have it worse of. well I really miss ayla nothing worse then loving someone but not being able to love them if you get what I'm sayin, it's really hard keepin this long-distance relationship together but I think ( Read more... )