Braveheart

For some reason, this movie is constantly cited as being "based on a true story," or "about a real person," or "historically accurate."

If that were the case, then Shakespeare in Love is also historically accurate because it's about a person who once existed. By the way, fuck that movie.

Braveheart is an action-drama with a ( Read more... )

The Bourne Trilogy

Wow, two trilogies in a row! I feel so accomplished, I feel like I'm really doing something important! Yes, I am, because watching movies is the most important thing ever. Ever.

Back in 1980, Robert Ludlum wrote a book called The Bourne Identity, about an amnesiac assassin trying to piece together his past while not getting ( Read more... )

The Blade Trilogy
What is the big fucking deal with trilogies? Everything has to be a trilogy, it has to be that way because Star Wars was (originally) a trilogy, because Lord of the Rings was a trilogy--Spider-Man does not need to be a trilogy. Neither did Blade, where I was perfectly fine with it as two movies, but nooooooooooo some fuckhead ( Read more... )

So basically, what happened for two weeks was that I was completely and hopelessly distracted by the totally fucking sweet Metal Gear Solid Essential Collection, and I'm taking a break from getting shot in the head by The End to get back to this project I wanted to do for so long.

Bill and Ted's Excellent AdventureMovies we loved as kids tend to ( Read more... )

Batman Begins
This, bar none, is the absolute best comic movie I've ever seen. It's Batman: Year One, only in movie form with the entire Gordon/Essen storyarc removed and a new one with Ra's al Ghul seamlessly dropped in. Sure, Katie Holmes' shoddy acting has the chance of derailing the whole thing right from the get-go, but thankfully her role ( Read more... )

Bad Boys and Bad Boys II
It's impressive how both of these movies--a series, no less--can show the difference between old-school action movies and the current school of action filmmaking. Bad Boys was powered by the ridiculously awesome Beverly Hills Cop/Top Gun tag-team of Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer, with former music video director ( Read more... )

Analyze This
Robert DeNiro had already proven himself as a talented actor before this movie came out, winning Oscars for Raging Bull and The Godfather Part II, so it seems only fitting that one of his best roles as Vito Corleone was lampooned to all hell in Analyze ThisThere's really not much to say about this movie aside from the obvious: it's ( Read more... )

Aladdin
It's hard for me to talk about early-to-mid-90s Disney movies without gushing for hours about the soundtracks--sure, The Little Mermaid is never well-remembered for me and I'll be getting to Beauty and the Beast later on, but when I think of a great animated Disney musical soundtrack, probably the first one to come to mind is AladdinI mean ( Read more... )

1408
It was strange how this movie couldn't keep my attention, even with how half-assed I've been watching movies lately. It had a great cast--John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson leading--it had a good concept--The Shining confined to a single room--and it was by Stephen King, who's pretty consistent in putting out good, scary horror ( Read more... )

No ten-scale, no letter grades, no star ratings--in fact, no ratings of any kind, just to lay down a single ground rule about this. I'll also do two movies at a time, save for when there's a trilogy. So without further ado...

The 13th Warrior
A lot of the movies I own are ones that I've seen in the theater--I clearly remember seeing The 13th ( Read more... )