Fic: Observations, Ch 202
“Scotty,” Leonard nodded to the biobed. “I’ll leave you two alone. Spock, I’ve got Jim over here. He’s still a mess, but he’s awake.”
I followed him to another section of Sickbay.
“Jim, don’t do anything stupid.”
“Hey, when’ve I ever done that?” he smiled.
“Too many times to count, you big idiot.”
“Love you too, Bones.”
“Save that for Spock. I’m your doctor, not your teddy bear.”
Jim laughed.
Leonard quietly left.
I stayed at the foot of his biobed, taking in the sight of him.
Red blood on the pavement and lying so still.
No.
He is alive.
He is awake.
His eyes are blue and his lips are smiling.
My hands are not shaking. They are completely relaxed at my sides.
“Hey, come here,” he put his right hand out. “Come here.”
Our line of work is dangerous. There is always a risk that we will be killed in the line of duty. Or, in this case, in the line of leisure.
I do not think I will ever get used to it.
The fear of losing Jim.
I do not think I will ever become accustomed to the numbness that sets in, immediately after he is wounded or hurt or captured in some way. I will push through and never exhale until I see him like this. Looking at me. Blue eyes and wide smile.
I walk towards him.
Take his hand in mine.
The thrill of simple contact, an entire world alive and active under his skin, between his synapses.
“It was that bad, huh?” He looked up at me.
I swallowed.
“It was-”
Jim put his hand to my face.
“Difficult.”
He drew me closer.
“It is no matter. You are alive. We have survived. The Enterprise has received orders for our next mission.”
Jim kissed me.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured against my lips.
I kissed him.
“For what? You have nothing to be sorry for.”
He kissed me again.
“I know. But I’m sorry anyway.”
And suddenly I was kissing him, perhaps deeply, perhaps desperately, perhaps madly. I did not care.
Desire pulsed between us, Jim shifted to make room for me in his biobed.
“I do not think-” I gasped
“Don’t think.”
“That this is advisable-”
“I want you right now.”
“While you are still recovering-”
“I want you right now.”
I climbed into his biobed and lay beside him, heart rate elevated, pupils dilated, inhaling exhaling.
He put one arm around my waist and another behind my head and pulled. I shifted closer to him, closer and impossibly close.
“You want to meld?”
I wanted so much to take comfort in his mind, to forget the horror of wrenching Redjac from Scotty’s mind. It would be irresponsible to meld with Jim right now. His body needs to make a full recovery, I must meditate before I feel capable of controlling the meld. The emotional transference would be devastating.
I shook my head.
Untangled the tubes protruding, carefully adjusting my position so as not to cause Jim any pain or discomfort.
“Spock, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered.
He touched his forehead to mine.
“I always come back. I always come back to you.”
His emotion, his confidence and surety.
I am glad Jim was spared this experience.
“Yes,” I traced a path along his arm, from his elbow to his shoulder. “You always come back to us.”
“What happened? Tell me.”
I closed my eyes.
“It has been a long mission.”
“Tell me what happened, Spock.”
I shook my head.
“I do not know all the facts yet. And there are legal issues that still must be dealt with.”
“I want to know.”
“I will tell you, Jim,” I promised. “But I am uncertain of what I saw and the events that transpired.”
Muted terror came through our contact. I could not tell if it was my emotion or Jim’s.
Images flashed, the remembered sensation of a dagger plunging again and again into his body, the muscle clenching and tightening around it only to be ripped open when the metal withdrew. The feeling of holes appearing, nerves on fire, breath catching and fluid seeping everywhere it should not, into his lungs, out of his stomach, oozing from his liver.
I looked at him. He shivered.
“He came out of nowhere,” Jim said quietly. “I didn’t even recognize him, I thought it was someone else.”
Blurred images of fog mixed with shadow and screams.
“I just reacted. Heard Nyota scream, jumped to go to her and Scotty. Scotty’s never taken our seminars for fighting. Nyota has, and she can hold her own now. You know that.”
I nodded.
“Saw her struggling against this figure. I didn’t think. I pulled it off her and landed a few punches, tried to throw it off balance. The knife came out of nowhere.”
Vague recollections of struggling against a grip like iron, pain exploding everywhere and trying to stay cognizant enough to fight but the pain, trying to dodge and get away but the fog turning into red mist and terror, the world tilting sideways.
“Scotty’s really strong. Did you know that? He’s really strong.”
“I did not. However, now that you have mentioned it, the fact is not surprising.”
“Why not?”
“He often uses manual tools. Strength is necessary for securing bolts, lifting the heavy machinery.”
“A handyman’s strength,” Jim nodded. “Mark was strong like that. He could fix anything. I think Mom was too.”
Images of Tarsus IV, evenings spent with his stepfather examining machinery and asking a continuous stream of question while Mark answered them all, demonstrating and sometimes giving Jim the tools to fix the problem. His mother looking on occasionally while she prepared dinner.
The memory faded quickly as Jim clamped down on his thoughts.
“Is Starfleet going to court martial him?”
“Lt. Shaw and Number One have made it clear that this case has become a ‘legal nightmare’ and it will take some time to determine the proper course of action. The testimony of all those involved will be recorded and accounted. For now, Scotty will remain with us.”
“They’re not taking him away.”
“We will make every effort to prevent that from happening.”
“It wasn’t his fault. That wasn’t him staring at me. It was something else completely.”
“Jim, do not agitate yourself. No decision is going to be made immediately.”
“I don’t care. They’re not taking away my Chief Engineer. You can’t let them. You can’t let them, Spock. That’s a direct order. You hear me?”
I kissed him. Thoroughly.
“Does that ease your worries?” I asked softly.
“A little,” he smiled.
“Only a little?”
“I think if you did it one more time.”
I kissed him. Slowly.
“Now?”
He made a show of considering his response.
“Yeah, a little better. Maybe one more.”
I kissed him. Softly.
“Yeah,” he whispered. “Yeah, I think I’m good.”
We lay together in silence.
“They’ll think of something. Areel and Number One’ll think of something. They’ve got our backs.”
“We are fortunate to have Number One as our commanding officer.”
“I always thought Pike would be our CO. It was his ship.”
“He has opted to deal with the Academy rather than oversee deep space missions. He often expressed dissatisfaction with the quality of cadets who graduated to serve on ships, particularly those from the Command School.”
“No wonder he pushed me through the fast track,” Jim shifted, pressing us close again. “How long am I stuck in Sickbay this time?”
“Leonard recommended a minimum of twenty days. You have several internal injuries.”
Jim sighed.
“It is remarkable that you are alive at all, Jim. Twenty days is an insignificant amount of time compared to the amount of time patients spent recovering in medical facilities in pre-Warp days.”
“I know, I know. I just hate it here.”
“The crew will visit you.”
“Spock, you know that’s not what I mean.”
“Shall I arrange for your quarters to be converted? It is possible, I may speak with Christine about it.”
“No. I don’t want Sickbay to follow me into my room.”
“Then there is nothing to do but remain. Leonard has already planned your physical therapy routine.”
“Great. Just great,” he buried his head into the curve of my neck.
“You are distressed.”
“I’m not distressed,” he mumbled.
“You are not pleased with this news, though it indicates that Leonard is planning on pushing you through an intense recovery. I had been under the impression that this would be welcome news.”
“He’s a taskmaster. He says I push myself too hard-Bones is just as bad, only he hypos me whenever he thinks I’m overextending myself.”
“Ah. The doctor’s ubiquitous hypospray.”
“He knows I hate it. If he told me to stop, I’d actually listen.”
I pulled my head back to look at Jim. He squinted up at me, a guilty expression on his face. I raised an eyebrow and made no comment.
“Commander,” Christine’s voice came from the other side of the partition.
Jim tightened his hold on me.
“Commander, they’re asking for you from the bridge.”
“Is it important?” Jim asked, already knowing the answer.
Apparently, there is something of an unspoken rule among the crew that, when either myself or the captain is injured, we as a unit are not to be disturbed during our hours off duty, unless it is a matter of particular urgency. It is common knowledge that we spend every spare minute with each other. It seems they desire to protect us, creating time and space so that we both might recover.
“Yes. The Admiral’s on the line.”
Jim groaned. I made no move to leave.
“Understood. I will be there momentarily.”
“Don’t keep her waiting too long.”
Christine left.
“I will return.”
“I know. Remember-Scotty-”
“The matter will be resolved acceptably.”
“I think I might need a little more reassurance on that,” Jim grinned.
I kissed him, leaving him breathless by the end.
“Okay. Go.”
I climbed out of the biobed and adjusted my uniform.
Jim reached out and took my hand in his.
“Don’t break my ship.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“I would never think of it, captain.”