FIC - Soul Rival ~Zaraki,Unohana R

[annieroo2]

Title: Soul Rival
Pairings/Characters: Zaraki Kenpachi and Unohana Retsu
Spoilers: none that I can think of
Warnings: Ken-chan’s potty mouth
Rating: R for language
Word Count: 297
Maximum word count: 300
Prompt: onslaught
Written for: week #30 bleach_contest 
Description: On their way out of Heuco Mundo, Kenpachi observes Unohana in action.
Beta: akuni 
edited: 09/20/

Comments

[akuni]

I love Kenpachi and Unohana - they really should interact more, don't you think? The possibilities excite me! :D

This is a terrific look at what Ken-chan might think of Unohana if he ever really saw her in action. You just know she's badass, and oh man I hope KT shows her being awesome sometime soon!

No beta yet, eh... would you like one? :)

[annieroo2]

Oh sweetie, I'd love one. This was a last minute write and my regular beta lives in England, so she's long gone to bed.

I didn't feel so bad begging my f-list for a beta on this one because it's only 300 words. :D

I love UnoKen too, because she's the only one I can ever see topping him. *laughs*

Thanks for your lovely words too. I am just dying to see all of the hueco mundo exiles again and what they've been doing.

[akuni]

:) I'll get this back to you asap. I kinda did a bit in my brain as I was reading it (occupational hazard, no insult!).

My inlaws are coming up this morning and I have to make myself decent, but I'll be free shortly.

I can email you a marked up document if you send me an LJ PM with your email addy Is a Word doc ok? Do you have Word 2007, or an older version? Some people like to talk through edits and comments in real time over IM, and if you want we can do that, too.

When those captains appeared in HM, I tell you I squealed so loud I nearly brought the roof down. I didn't care about Mayuri, but the others... yay! \o/

[annieroo2]

No insult taken. :D

My insides twisted a little though at the thought of how badly you're going to decimate me. ;D

I have the newest Word version whatever it is, so it should be able to handle whatever.

You didn't get my LJ PM from last night? Shoot I'll try again.

I didn't squeal because it's always after midnight when the new chapter comes out, but I did a jig for Kenpachi, a tango for Byakuya and a handstand for Unohana, then I blanched for Mayuri because I knew he was there to torture my poor Ishida again and thereby Renji as well. D:

[ceres_wish]

Ah, short and well-written! i like this, especially the last part where Zaraki look at unohana as a rival. Something that is so ironic considering the relationship between the 4th and 11th division!

Good job ^^

[annieroo2]

Aww... Thanks so much. I just think these 2 have so much possibility.

It's such a pipe dream I know, but I'd love to see her kick his ass into gear and show him the way to his own bankai. :D

[yawns_widely]

So I've just woke up, it being a saturday and no work for once, and I decide to get my ass online and the first thing I read is this, and I gotta say I can see no errors and therefore no need of a beta for this little gem. I have to speak now before I am off to town to buy ... urgggh.

You've done Kenpachi and Unohana respectively justice in this, and I love seeing the matronly woman seen through his eyes, and the different -- more warrior like perspective it gives us on the healer. 'Cos she is a very strong woman, unflappable and admirable.

I love that Kenpachi has to put his own deliverance by Unohana out of his mind, to save his sanity, genuis and so fitting for his whole killing ethic and assumed invulnerability XD

The line I particularly liked was:

someone to patch up those pussies that couldn’t stand scars or were too incompetent in battle to come out more than barely alive.The alliteration of pussy and patch made me smile, and had quite an impact. And I'm sure he thinks that too, in canon

[annieroo2]

Oh sweetie you should never apologize for your comments. Short or long, it matters not because you always say something very special. :D

I know so many people refer to her as captain mom, as if it's cute. To me Unohana has always been pretty badass. She's over 2000 years old and a Captain for at least over a 100 years. Nothing about those things are easy.

Kenpachi always puts on the front of a consummate warrior, but I think he hides the heart of true compassion. Otherwise, he wouldn't have picked up Yachiru or let Ikkaku live.

You know I wasn't sure how the whole "pussies" line would go over with readers but I couldn't let it go after it hit my brain, so it's good it made you smile. ;)

Thanks so much for your comments. They make me smile. :D

[vayshti]

I loved that contradiction between Kenpachi dismissing those who need to go to the 4th Division as pussies, but his convenient forgetting that he ought to be included in that number.

Also - the end: seeing Unohana as a 'challenge'...it's so very, very 11th division.

xx

[annieroo2]

Yeah I think Kenpachi is pretty good in the personal denial department. XD I think Yachiru is probably the most blatant example of it too. ;)

LOL! Well she's so aloof and reserved normally that seeing her "in battle" had to be quiet a wake up call to him about what kind of "opponent" she could really be. :P

Thanks for the lovely comments!

[hu3long2]

Echo all the above comments-- and that I love how you have Unohana in bankai, but still not killing but purifying with compassion and deadly grace-- that her bankai is the summation of everything about her that we've seen to far in the series.

Was watching DDR the other day, and I had forgotten how light and girlish her voice is... it's always lower in my imagination, since so many fanfics call her captain mum

[annieroo2]

LOL! I want to say that so often too - that everyone above already took my comments. :P

Regardless of necessity I think it would be difficult for a healer of Unohana's magnitude to outright kill anything. So I had to temper it somehow and to me this made the most sense for her.

Captain mum sort of encompasses it all to me, but I suspect most don't mean it the way I see it. She's got a lot of delinquents to keep in line, idiots to patch up, run a division, and keep her sanity through the past 2000+ years. LOL! Yep that sounds about right. XD

And I love her voice, it's such an interesting contrast to her calm personality. I'm always waiting to hear her break out into giggles.

Thanks so much for reading and stopping long enough to comment. I really do appreciate it. :)

[hu3long2]

Love your definition of Captain Mum :-) Put that way, her voice represents how she has kept her sanity for the last millennia/few centuries and right through the antics of the 11th. Young at heart! And I would love to hear her giggle too. I guess I'll just have to keep stalking the Shinigami golden omake!

[annieroo2]

LOL! Thanks. To me the definition of a mom is a whole hell of a lot more work than most peoples. :P

Maybe I can get Kenpachi it make her giggle some day. ;)