This can only end in wank...

[annerbhp]

Because I live to entertain (and

Comments

[zorb]

Oh, GOODIE.

- Adult characters with the emotional stability of a fourteen year old.
- Any seriously-meant variation on "Vala is a whore."
- Ditto Sam.

(I know we have character bashing already, but these are specific shades of it.)

- Psychic OCs who know how a situation will turn out already because it was an episode, and use their powers of persuasion to change everything.
- Late seasons Teal'c treated like a cultural illiterate.

I want to click post and see what other people are saying. I'm sure there will be more where these came from.

[annerbhp]

Yes, we have had a explosion of complaints. lol. I always figure that when the characters have the emotional stability of a 14 year old that it was actually written by a 14 year old. ;)

Do not get me started on the slut trope. ARGH!

[beanpot]

Yes made you. Threatened to withhold pretzels of doom until you did it.

And I've honestly run into #1 in more published fic than in fandom recently.

11. Use of Danny Boy nickname. Because the damn song is a funeral dirge for and by his wife who died early.

12. Yelling via CAPSLOCK OF DOOM!!! (Exclamation points are just a bonus...)

13. Any fic where grown ups break up via passing a note. (If you think I'm kidding...)

13a. Bonus points if note is passed in Slash relationship and they both cry. A lot.

[annerbhp]

I think we are going to have to start requiring linkage for some of these. lol.

[splash_the_cat]

DUELING TONGUES OMG.

[abyssinia4077]

isn't that what the little swords in fruity cocktail drinks are for?

[splash_the_cat]

"Jack, why do you have a plastic cocktail sword jabbed through your tongue?"

"Thut up, Dan'el."

[annerbhp]

Bwhahahaha.

[gabolange]

Blatant public displays of affection between two characters who are supposed to be acting professionally.

The phrase, "You might as well call him what he is, sir. My lover."

Poor grammar and punctuation.

Sam becomes a silly, weepy girl because Jack is Hot and Manly and Has a Penis. (Or any variation on the theme, really.)

[annerbhp]

Oh yes, yes, yes! I just cringe at the word lover, whether actually spoken or even just thought.

Sam becomes a silly, weepy girl because Jack is Hot and Manly and Has a Penis.

But it's a really BIG penis. And has magical powers!!!!

Hahahahahahh....

[gabolange]

I adore your icon. (Equally appropriate text: "Shall I flog them as well?" *grin*)

The word "lover" should never, ever be used. I suppose it's funny sometimes, but if I stumble across it used in any way other than vaguely sarcastic, I prefer to poke out my eyes. At least in this particular story (which I think was of the Jack-plots-to-break-up-Sam-and-Pete variety), that line was in the first two paragraphs and I could scramble for the back button before anything else happened!

But it's a really BIG penis. And has magical powers!!!!

Dude. HOT.

[lyssie]

er... I'm pretty sure I've written 9. And seriously, iirc.

Ahem.

BABIES. Babies that are magical and healing and solve any and all problems.

Sam needing a child to complete herself.

Sam being unable to deal with her lack of baby-making facilities, as it's the one thing that will prove her full love to Jack.

Kara... in any of the above, with ANY man or woman substituted for Jack.

Abused childhoods.

Incest.

Bad grammar/spelling.

The misplacement of body parts (three hands, penises instead of clitorises...)

Sam is a party girl who knows every bar in town.

...and that's all I got, off the top of my head.

[annerbhp]

Oh, I am sure I will have committed many of these sins by the time the list is complete. We should have door prizes for whoever can claim the most or something.

The baby-marriage-and-a-man for true womanly fulfillment KILLS ME. Just...come on! Bleh.